I echo what Lisa just said. I'd also add - if only the wedding couple and maybe one or two others have any experience of contra dancing, I would definitely NOT do a "regular" duple minor contra; I would not teach swings; I would not use any confusing figures that you wouldn't use for a family dance that's a ONS. Don't "build up to" any contras or anything other than keeping it simple and fun. They're not there to learn. DON'T make the dances long (it's not like a monthly contra dance). They're not there to dance; they're there to celebrate the wedding; I agree that you charge extra if there will be alcohol; and if they tell you that you have an hour, figure you may have 20-30 minutes (unless you come after people have had time to drink a bunch - in which case you may have 2-3 dances at best) and you want to pick the most fun, most easily accessible dances that barely need a walk-through. Doing a spiral at some point (making sure the wedding couple is who you are holding hands with) is a nice way for those who participate to honor them (when you and they get to the center). If your main reason is to recruit new dancers, I would not do weddings. My 3 cents - from both experience as well as having read a ton of callers' remarks and advice about calling for weddings. Patricia Patricia Campbell Newtown, CT *Celebrating Community Through Traditional Dance and Music* On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:05 PM Lisa Sieverts via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote:

It seems there is no message I can send to this list where something minor that I say isn't misconstrued, and diverts part of the ensuing discussion. Yes, OF COURSE the main goal of the event is to give the couple and their guests a great time! It's a WEDDING, for goodness' sake! If I can make it a riotous blast of fun, maybe someone will come to our dance. Maybe not. But, if I don't, nobody will. That's all I intended. Thanks to those who are offering substantive advice on how to plan and call! --jh-- On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti &lt;jerome.grisanti(a)gmail.com&gt; wrote:

Hi I have done a lot of weddings.... Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance dances,. Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun. Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise their guests will not feel required to do so. Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking) Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells. Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance ..... Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet. Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way charge a gas fee) or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system? Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc) Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc Will there be small children ...another issue. Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real. Good Luck.... Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote:

Everyone's already said the stuff I would say about keeping it simple, focusing on the couple and group having a good time, etc. The only other thing I'll add is to ask if they know about how many kids and of what ages. Knowing you're doing more "family" dances if there are going to be lots of kids vs. dances that are simple barn-dance style but more for adults might alter your programming a little. Like I might do a freeze dance or something like that if the audience has a lot of kids. You can also introduce those dances as being particularly kid friendly, and do them earlier. Also, I think someone might have said this, but there are a few dances lots of people think of as quintessential, and might be expecting once they see a dance caller, like the virgina reels. So I usually try to do that just to fit expectations. Have a blast! Cheers, Adam On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:07 PM Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote:

Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote:

I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel). And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands. I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party: Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other. Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then the Virginia Reel. Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be done. That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do. ~Erik Hoffman Oakland, CA From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM To: Shared Weight Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.” The sequenc External (contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>) Report This Email<https://protection.inkyphishfence.com/report?id=bmV0b3JnZnQxNTA4MD… FAQ<https://www.godaddy.com/help/report-email-with-advanced-email-securi… GoDaddy Advanced Email Security, Powered by INKY<https://www.inky.com/protection-by-inky> It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.” The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as dosido or swing. At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings. Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.) Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance. Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com<https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=www.hands4.co… New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now) From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I’ll add two points of my own. I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a surprise for the bride and groom. Since them I have had a strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the bride. The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room. Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there for other reasons. (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” category.) Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they were going to learn anything that day. My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple to call at a wedding. It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple. To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite couple. (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!) Good luck! Sent from my iPhone On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote:  I agree with a lot of what was said. I'll just add a couple of things. I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine. If they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to happen. I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes. I always start off with something like La Bastringue. Keep it easy and fun. Don't go too long on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun. I love doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together. I think that really pleases the B & G. I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country. I try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their family and friends. Spread the love! Roberta Kogut Get TypeApp for Android<https://shared.outlook.inky.com/link?domain=www.typeapp.com&… On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Hi I have done a lot of weddings.... Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance dances,. Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun. Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise their guests will not feel required to do so. Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking) Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells. Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance ..... Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet. Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way charge a gas fee) or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system? Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc) Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc Will there be small children ...another issue. Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real. Good Luck.... Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand turn. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call? I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end? Try to teach a swing? Some advice I've gotten so far: Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of music, trad or pop? Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and surface Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech? Duration - how long they'll want to dance Dancers - how many, any experienced guests? Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last? Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will) Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if there is) Will many women be in high heels? I welcome any advice! My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters. Thanks, --jh-- _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> ________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net>

I always start with a grand march - no teaching and eases some of the fear of doing other dances You can put the bride and groom in the second slot and announce they request participation from all guests Mac On Tuesday, July 4, 2023 at 04:10:09 PM CDT, Rich Sbardella via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: I am enjoying this thread.   I have called weddings with a full dance floor with long periods of dancing, and others which have a few dancers who only dance for a short period.  I had always felt like I failed when I did not get the participation I imagined, but I too have learned that our dances flavor the event, but we are not the main attraction. I do not generally require deposits for party dances, but I do for weddings and outdoor events.  I had a wedding to call last month that was cancelled about seven days before the scheduled date, and without an explanation.  It was the first time in 30 years that I kept a deposit, and I am still conflicted about it.  Any previous cancellations were weather related, and I applied the deposit to a rescheduled event. I have also called several wedding rehearsal dances, and generally get great participation from the attendees. One of my favorite dances for weddings and rehearsal dinners is Rural Felicity.At such events I rename the dance to Tunnel of Love, and I have the Bride and Groom as the 1st Top Couple. A1  LL F&B, Top Pair Sashay to footA2  LL F&B,  Same Pair Sashay to topB1  P DSD, 2 Hand Turn and Make an Arch (Tunnel)B2  Top Pair lead down under the Arches  I have a wedding to call this weekend, and I am looking forward to it. Rich SbardellaStafford Springs, CT On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 2:43 PM Erik Hoffman via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel).   And, I actually wrote a book about it:Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands.   I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party:   Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other.   Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then the Virginia Reel.   Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be done.   That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do.   ~Erik Hoffman Oakland, CA     From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM To: Shared Weight Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings     It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.”   The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as dosido or swing.   At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings.   Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.)   Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance.   Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now)     From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM To: Shared Weight Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings   Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated.   On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: I’ll add two points of my own.  I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a surprise  for the bride and groom.  Since them I have had a strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the bride.     The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room.  Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there for other reasons.  (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” category.)  Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they were going to learn anything that day.   My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple to call at a wedding.  It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple.  To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite couple.  (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!)   Good luck! Sent from my iPhone   On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote:  I agree with a lot of what was said.  I'll just add a couple of things. I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine.  If they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to happen.  I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes.  I always start off with something like La Bastringue.  Keep it easy and fun.  Don't go too long on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun.  I love doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together.  I think that really pleases the B & G. I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country.  I try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their family and friends. Spread the love! Roberta Kogut Get TypeApp for Android On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: Hi   I have done a lot of weddings....   Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance,  community dance dances,.   Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun.    Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event?  If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance  the full first set otherwise their  guests will not feel required to do so.   Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking)   Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected.   Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s,  NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells.   Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance .....   Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet.   Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way  charge a gas fee) or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night.  Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system?    Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc)   Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc   Will there be small children ...another issue.   Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late   ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc.  You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour  I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real.   Good Luck....   Lorraine Sutton  Ontario, Canada           On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand turn.   On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call?   I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end?  Try to teach a swing?  Some advice I've gotten so far:   Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of music, trad or pop? Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and surface Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech? Duration - how long they'll want to dance Dancers - how many, any experienced guests? Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last? Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will) Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if there is) Will many women be in high heels?   I welcome any advice!  My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters.   Thanks,   --jh--   _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net

This is just about my favorite dance-game, but I had never encountered the name “Favor of the Rose” before. I first learned it as “The Rose and the Thorn,” then more recently heard “A Rose Between Two Thorns” (of course, traditionally it’s gendered and typically starts with a lady between two gents). It’s also known as “The Hat Dance” or “The Fan Dance,” depending on the prop used. By coincidence, just last Saturday I bought a satin rose on plastic stem, to replace one that I had carried in my kit for years and that had recently disappeared. The new one is huge – twice the size and length of the old one; that’s what they had at Jo-Ann’s this time. I wasn’t sure I liked it at first, but I’m warming to it. I got it to use at Saturday night’s gig – a country club’s annual summer party for members & families – but I barely had enough people for a decent Galopede. Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com<http://www.hands4.com/> New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now) From: Neal Schlein via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Wednesday, July 5, 2023 12:32 AM To: Mac Mckeever &lt;macmck(a)ymail.com&gt; Cc: Shared Weight Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings Second the Grand March, super simple square-ish dance, and some kind of Virginia Reel—especially for more thematic weddings. Also a scatter promenade (WITH partner), Big Circle with no partners needed, and La Bastringue. I would not bother with ballroom swings, and building to a contra is only relevant if that’s what the couple wants and they are specifically inviting people to a DANCE. One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is Favor of the Rose: it is an absolute favorite of mine and my dance community. Favor of the Rose -Line up three chairs and get a rose (or whatever). -Form two lines of people, one on either side (any criteria, inequal is 💯 fine). -Position the bride or groom in the middle chair and give them the rose. -Bring two people from one line and have them sit. Center person gives rose to one, dances up center with the other. -Remaining person moves to center chair. Repeat, alternating lines. Neal Schlein On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 3:14 PM Mac Mckeever via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I always start with a grand march - no teaching and eases some of the fear of doing other dances You can put the bride and groom in the second slot and announce they request participation from all guests Mac On Tuesday, July 4, 2023 at 04:10:09 PM CDT, Rich Sbardella via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I am enjoying this thread. I have called weddings with a full dance floor with long periods of dancing, and others which have a few dancers who only dance for a short period. I had always felt like I failed when I did not get the participation I imagined, but I too have learned that our dances flavor the event, but we are not the main attraction. I do not generally require deposits for party dances, but I do for weddings and outdoor events. I had a wedding to call last month that was cancelled about seven days before the scheduled date, and without an explanation. It was the first time in 30 years that I kept a deposit, and I am still conflicted about it. Any previous cancellations were weather related, and I applied the deposit to a rescheduled event. I have also called several wedding rehearsal dances, and generally get great participation from the attendees. One of my favorite dances for weddings and rehearsal dinners is Rural Felicity. At such events I rename the dance to Tunnel of Love, and I have the Bride and Groom as the 1st Top Couple. A1 LL F&B, Top Pair Sashay to foot A2 LL F&B, Same Pair Sashay to top B1 P DSD, 2 Hand Turn and Make an Arch (Tunnel) B2 Top Pair lead down under the Arches I have a wedding to call this weekend, and I am looking forward to it. Rich Sbardella Stafford Springs, CT On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 2:43 PM Erik Hoffman via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel). And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands. I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party: Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other. Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then the Virginia Reel. Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be done. That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do. ~Erik Hoffman Oakland, CA From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.” The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as dosido or swing. At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings. Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.) Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance. Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com<http://www.hands4.com/> New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now) From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I’ll add two points of my own. I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a surprise for the bride and groom. Since them I have had a strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the bride. The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room. Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there for other reasons. (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” category.) Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they were going to learn anything that day. My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple to call at a wedding. It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple. To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite couple. (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!) Good luck! Sent from my iPhone On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote:  I agree with a lot of what was said. I'll just add a couple of things. I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine. If they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to happen. I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes. I always start off with something like La Bastringue. Keep it easy and fun. Don't go too long on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun. I love doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together. I think that really pleases the B & G. I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country. I try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their family and friends. Spread the love! Roberta Kogut Get TypeApp for Android<http://www.typeapp.com/r> On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Hi I have done a lot of weddings.... Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance dances,. Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun. Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise their guests will not feel required to do so. Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking) Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells. Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance ..... Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet. Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way charge a gas fee) or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system? Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc) Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc Will there be small children ...another issue. Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real. Good Luck.... Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand turn. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call? I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end? Try to teach a swing? Some advice I've gotten so far: Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of music, trad or pop? Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and surface Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech? Duration - how long they'll want to dance Dancers - how many, any experienced guests? Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last? Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will) Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if there is) Will many women be in high heels? I welcome any advice! My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters. Thanks, --jh-- _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> ________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> -- Neal Schlein Librarian, MSLIS

It is a wonderful activity. I have no idea where we got the name, but Calico and Boots in Boulder, CO has called it that for at least the last 35 years. Of course, the name typically gets modified based on the prop, and we have used anything and everything over the years. I’ve seen: Miniature Pumpkins and gourds (more than once) Hats Fan Book Flowers (real/fake) Small broom Caller’s cordless microphone Stuffed animal Wooden shoe Magic fairy wand Baby doll (at a baby shower) Neal On Wed, Jul 5, 2023 at 10:27 AM John Freeman via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: -- Neal Schlein Librarian, MSLIS

I love using a broom and sweeping them away. I have found using a rubber chicken (instead of a rose, fan, candle, or hat) has been quite amusing. Seth Tepfer, MBA, CSM, PMP (he, him, his) Senior IT Manager, Emory Primate Center [cid:85ca4522-9393-438f-a657-bb2bc93342bc]<https://outlook.office.com/boo… Book time to meet with me<https://outlook.office.com/bookwithme/user/fcd3f5d71da848759228584d1a… ________________________________ From: Ben A via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Friday, July 14, 2023 2:32 PM To: Tony Parkes &lt;tony(a)hands4.com&gt;om>; Tony Parkes via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [External] [Callers] Re: calling weddings Fascinating that we've all learned mostly the same things at wedding and other ONS dances... The "Rose" dance, or "Fan" dance, or "Hat Dance" is also fun to do with a broom - the person in the middle who gets stuck with the broom can chase the dancing couple down the hall a ways, while "Sweeping them away," if they want. I've tried this one with various props, and I think the broom has been the most fun, and funny. Ben Allbrandt On 07/05/2023 10:00 AM EDT Tony Parkes via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: This is just about my favorite dance-game, but I had never encountered the name “Favor of the Rose” before. I first learned it as “The Rose and the Thorn,” then more recently heard “A Rose Between Two Thorns” (of course, traditionally it’s gendered and typically starts with a lady between two gents). It’s also known as “The Hat Dance” or “The Fan Dance,” depending on the prop used. By coincidence, just last Saturday I bought a satin rose on plastic stem, to replace one that I had carried in my kit for years and that had recently disappeared. The new one is huge – twice the size and length of the old one; that’s what they had at Jo-Ann’s this time. I wasn’t sure I liked it at first, but I’m warming to it. I got it to use at Saturday night’s gig – a country club’s annual summer party for members & families – but I barely had enough people for a decent Galopede. Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com<http://www.hands4.com/> New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now) From: Neal Schlein via Contra Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Sent: Wednesday, July 5, 2023 12:32 AM To: Mac Mckeever &lt;macmck(a)ymail.com&gt; Cc: Shared Weight Callers &lt;contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings Second the Grand March, super simple square-ish dance, and some kind of Virginia Reel—especially for more thematic weddings. Also a scatter promenade (WITH partner), Big Circle with no partners needed, and La Bastringue. I would not bother with ballroom swings, and building to a contra is only relevant if that’s what the couple wants and they are specifically inviting people to a DANCE. One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is Favor of the Rose: it is an absolute favorite of mine and my dance community. Favor of the Rose -Line up three chairs and get a rose (or whatever). -Form two lines of people, one on either side (any criteria, inequal is 💯 fine). -Position the bride or groom in the middle chair and give them the rose. -Bring two people from one line and have them sit. Center person gives rose to one, dances up center with the other. -Remaining person moves to center chair. Repeat, alternating lines. Neal Schlein On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 3:14 PM Mac Mckeever via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I always start with a grand march - no teaching and eases some of the fear of doing other dances You can put the bride and groom in the second slot and announce they request participation from all guests Mac On Tuesday, July 4, 2023 at 04:10:09 PM CDT, Rich Sbardella via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I am enjoying this thread. I have called weddings with a full dance floor with long periods of dancing, and others which have a few dancers who only dance for a short period. I had always felt like I failed when I did not get the participation I imagined, but I too have learned that our dances flavor the event, but we are not the main attraction. I do not generally require deposits for party dances, but I do for weddings and outdoor events. I had a wedding to call last month that was cancelled about seven days before the scheduled date, and without an explanation. It was the first time in 30 years that I kept a deposit, and I am still conflicted about it. Any previous cancellations were weather related, and I applied the deposit to a rescheduled event. I have also called several wedding rehearsal dances, and generally get great participation from the attendees. One of my favorite dances for weddings and rehearsal dinners is Rural Felicity. At such events I rename the dance to Tunnel of Love, and I have the Bride and Groom as the 1st Top Couple. A1 LL F&B, Top Pair Sashay to foot A2 LL F&B, Same Pair Sashay to top B1 P DSD, 2 Hand Turn and Make an Arch (Tunnel) B2 Top Pair lead down under the Arches I have a wedding to call this weekend, and I am looking forward to it. Rich Sbardella Stafford Springs, CT On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 2:43 PM Erik Hoffman via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel). And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands. I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party: Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other. Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then the Virginia Reel. Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be done. That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do. ~Erik Hoffman Oakland, CA From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.” The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as dosido or swing. At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings. Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.) Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance. Tony Parkes Billerica, Mass. www.hands4.com<http://www.hands4.com/> New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century (available now) From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I’ll add two points of my own. I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a surprise for the bride and groom. Since them I have had a strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the bride. The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room. Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there for other reasons. (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” category.) Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they were going to learn anything that day. My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple to call at a wedding. It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple. To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite couple. (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!) Good luck! Sent from my iPhone On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I agree with a lot of what was said. I'll just add a couple of things. I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine. If they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to happen. I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes. I always start off with something like La Bastringue. Keep it easy and fun. Don't go too long on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun. I love doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together. I think that really pleases the B & G. I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country. I try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their family and friends. Spread the love! Roberta Kogut Get TypeApp for Android<http://www.typeapp.com/r> On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Hi I have done a lot of weddings.... Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance dances,. Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun. Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise their guests will not feel required to do so. Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking) Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells. Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance ..... Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet. Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way charge a gas fee) or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system? Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc) Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc Will there be small children ...another issue. Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real. Good Luck.... Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand turn. On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call? I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end? Try to teach a swing? Some advice I've gotten so far: Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of music, trad or pop? Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and surface Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech? Duration - how long they'll want to dance Dancers - how many, any experienced guests? Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last? Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will) Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if there is) Will many women be in high heels? I welcome any advice! My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters. Thanks, --jh-- _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> ________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net<mailto:contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net> -- Neal Schlein Librarian, MSLIS _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net

I'm calling my first wedding dance at the end of the month, and the family requested the "Paddle Dance," which apparently has some Voyageur history? Does anyone have experience calling it? On Sat, Jul 8, 2023 at 8:07 PM Donna Hunt via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: -- Allison Jonjak allisonjonjak(a)gmail.com allisonjonjak.com

I just wanted to let this group know that I called a wedding on Saturday and followed all of the advice here. Did the Broom/Fan dance for the first time (I used a large feather duster, bedecked with flowing ribbons). It was a huge hit! Kept all the dances simple, ended with a "running set/spiral dance" just as the rain started- but the dance went on. It was possibly the sweetest evening I have ever called, thanks in part to the lack of alcohol, also to the affection the whole party had for each other, and also thanks to the advice given here. I've called several weddings before, but this was definitely the best. Thanks! On Sun, Jul 9, 2023 at 5:32 PM Allison Jonjak via Contra Callers < contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net&gt; wrote: -- www.huntandallison.net www.info@thsmaritime.com www.centralhallcommons.org