_______________________________________________I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel).
And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and One-Night Stands.
I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party:
Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other. Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other.
Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland, California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got married!” Then the Virginia Reel.
Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be done.
That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do.
~Erik Hoffman
Oakland, CA
From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM
To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings (and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes “really easy.”
The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing” than any of the moves such as dosido or swing.
At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m much less likely to use it at weddings.
Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters, including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2. (The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do I get taken up on the offer.)
Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance.
Tony Parkes
Billerica, Mass.
New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century
(available now)
From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM
To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated.
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I’ll add two points of my own. I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was orchestrated by others as a surprise for the bride and groom. Since them I have had a strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the bride.
The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room. Are they looking forward to a dance program, or are they there for other reasons. (Weddings fall heavily in the “for other reasons” category.) Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they were going to learn anything that day.
My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple to call at a wedding. It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to call one that is too simple. To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD, Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite couple. (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!)
Good luck!
Sent from my iPhone
On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I agree with a lot of what was said. I'll just add a couple of things.
I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure I know their expectations and they know mine. If they are serious contra dancers, I always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably going to happen. I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes. I always start off with something like La Bastringue. Keep it easy and fun. Don't go too long on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun. I love doing mixers because they keep the guests mingling together. I think that really pleases the B & G.
I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country. I try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their family and friends.
Spread the love!
Roberta Kogut
On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi
I have done a lot of weddings....
Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance dances,.
Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun.
Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise their guests will not feel required to do so.
Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been drinking)
Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells.
Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance .....
Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough, so ask for a min of 40 square feet.
Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each way charge a gas fee)
or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000 a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they bring the sound system?
Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge of Athlone etc)
Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do etc
Will there be small children ...another issue.
Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time, catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner, however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches wrapped up. Harsh but real.
Good Luck....
Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified swing/2-hand turn.
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call?
I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end? Try to teach a swing? Some advice I've gotten so far:
Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of music, trad or pop?
Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and surface
Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech?
Duration - how long they'll want to dance
Dancers - how many, any experienced guests?
Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last?
Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will)
Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if there is)
Will many women be in high heels?
I welcome any advice! My main goal in taking wedding gigs is recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters.
Thanks,
--jh--
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