I was a bit surprised by the comment that went something like " she’s supposed to be following, why would she want to resist him?"…In 25 years of teaching couple dancing, during my initial ranting about frame, I’ve had lots of interesting questions from students, but haven’t heard that one…yet. Remember the line in "Dirty Dancing" " you stay in your space, I’ll stay in mine"? Gentle resistance is the essence of frame. Let me preface this small collection of web gleanings below by a line from one of them : "I have a feeling that honorable teachers will differ on this point." Here’s my position: Non-believers in the cone (within reason as I initially stated) might want to try this exercise. Have 2 dancers join both hands, stand upright with nice posture, each supporting 100% of their own weight. No noodle arms of course. Put something on the floor in the middle of them (rock, cup?) and ask them to circle around the object as fast as they can while maintaining absolutely upright posture and supporting 100% of their own weight. You could time their revolutions per minute. Then ask them to "Give weight" (let’s reflect a moment on that "give" "weight" ..give to whom? Whose weight?..why, your weight to your partner of course or rather both your weights given to the central part of the frame). Each person leans back from the feet a bit, maybe you have them move their feet in toward the object a bit…and they find the central balance point…certainly not enough to topple if let go, but to begin to feel that sensation…then ask them to repeat the exercise. Time their revolutions. More important, ask them which felt more thrilling. It is not that one partner is throwing weight on the other, its not that the man has a burden of holding the woman’s dead weight. Its that they’ve found a physical balance point. An 80 pound grandchild could do this with a 200 pound granddad. What I find very interesting in this exercise, which I use in each waltz class before teaching couple turns and couple pivots, is that the folks have a bit of a hard time following the instructions for the first part…they want badly to make a cone at the very start…they know or their bodies know that’s the way to go faster And of course the couple doesn’t maintain the cone at the end of the swing, so the suggestion they would topple over as an argument against the cone is reductio ad absurdum. To end the swing, the partners stand more and more upright which naturally slows the momentum. The instantaneous forming of the cone and the dissolving of it are, in fact, meta-leads that signal the start and finish of the swing. And re: the woman pressing back into the Man’s right hand. It’s called by many dance teachers "finding the lead". Some nights when I am social dancing the man’s part, I find many women partners who have bought into the biggest lie in couple dancing "Be light as a feather in a man’s arms". If I can’t find you I can’t lead you!! Women whose backs come to rest shy of my palm are absolutely unleadable. A nice firm press back into my right hand by her shoulder blade maximizes skin (and nerve) contact so she can feel the slightest suggestion I may give her. 　 http://www.cocoabeachcontra.org/contrais.htm The Swing. Contra dance's flagship move is a spin in ballroom position. Develop a good swing and people will want to dance with you! Experienced dancers are eager to give you pointers, so ask, and try them when they're given whether they're requested or not. * Hand position. The man's right hand goes on the lady's back on or just below the bra strap, placed to support her weight in the spin. The woman’s left arm goes on top of his arm and around his shoulder with the hand wherever it lands. If she can reach behind his shoulder, she should support the spin as well, but don't stretch to reach if you are much smaller than he is. The other hands touch lightly. Their arms should be tensed, with elbow bent, creating a "frame." * The spin. Rotate the frame to your left, placing your right foot down on every odd beat, parallel to your partner's. Left feet can walk or "buzz step" (ask for a demo). Do not bounce! That's for (bad) movies. Rotate as smoothly as you can, like a merry-go-round. Leaning left asks to go faster, right asks to decelerate. If you easily get dizzy, say, "spin slowly" when you start. * Giving weight. Keep your upper body straight and lean out to give your partner a feeling of connectedness. Your arms hold you together; if you let go you should fly apart (so don't!). It's a tension between the two people - you can feel that there's someone there. Look at each other! If they're smiling, you're doing fine. If not, ask. * * adapted from information created by Gary Shapiro – * http://www.ras-this.com/dance-frame-vs-spaghetti-arms/ On the other hand ladies, it is our responsibility to offer a stable frame. One that is a constant, toned resistance, equal to that of our partner – http://www.cyber-tango.com/art/frame.html Maybe I'm just stuck in a certain style that works for me, but I have partners here with whom I cannot dance very well at all because they don't maintain a "V". I have a feeling that honorable teachers will differ on this point. http://www.jmnelson.com/studio/dance/articles/summary.pdf Closed Position:….The man's right wrist should be at the back edge of the woman's armpit, fingers and thumb together, hand cupped slightly, resting gently on her shoulder blade. The man is responsible for keeping his hand in the proper position,and the woman is responsible for keeping gentle pressure against his hand… http://socialdancemusings.wordpress.com/2012/04/22/dance-frame/ Have tension in your arms so each partner can move the other around. Sit back a bit, settle your weight, use your frame to hold the two of you up.