14 Oct
2023
14 Oct
'23
11:38 a.m.
I heartily agree with all of John’s points, and the vital importance of the
human lives behind them, but I also call for compassion and patience as
communities discern their way forward. Each community grows at their own
pace. Rural communities in particular, and I am from one of them, can be
relatively isolated from the interconnected contra dance world, and may be
only beginning this dialog. Remember how long and difficult this matter has
been in the larger communities that have made or are making the transition,
and give us grace to have our own conversations which we may be just
beginning. Speaking for my own community, we *are* in dialog with our
LGBTQ+ friends and participants, and I have heard personal assurances that
they’re fine with ladies/gents, and in fact some prefer it for their own
reasons. I realize this doesn’t address the folks who aren’t coming, and
disclaimers about “this is just a dance roll” don’t cut it for everyone….
sigh. I’m doing what I can, and put my energy into authentically welcoming
them by other means.
At the risk of venting, and not to diminish the mental harm some folks
experience around gendered language, at the moment in our deeply red state
we have some pretty big fish to fry in the way of potential harm to our
LGBTQ+ loved ones. The fact we are dancing on the floor openly together
seems pretty darned triumphant in the face of what’s happening in our
nation, our state legislature and towns not that far away from us. The
energy we might spend on this debate is energy we might need elsewhere
right now.
I wish this were our biggest issue right now, and I wish I could help the
local community at least consider moving to non-gendered calling. But I am
one voice, and holding the mic is not the same as holding the gavel. The
situation here may change generationally; or, by the time we are prepared
to transition, the broader contra dance world may have moved on to other
solutions; and g*d willing the country will have moved on from where it is
now too.
*deep breath*
I’m personally doing my best to master all the variations well enough to
meet any community where they are. Please don’t scold us for being where we
are.
-Joseph
On Sat, Oct 14, 2023 at 7:46 AM John W Gintell via Contra Callers <
contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I like to point out two important factors that should influence the
transition to larks/robins.
1. To some LGBTQ+ people being called a Lady or Gent is mentally harmful
because gender ID is a very important matter and sometimes has a long and
often uncomfortable personal history.
2. It helps encourage people to dance both roles.
a) I’ve been at dances where there are more people of one gender than the
other and as a result some dancers sit out a dance because they feel
uncomfortable about asking someone of the same gender to dance. And there
are some people who think that Ladies shouldn’t ask Gents to dance.
b) I think dancing both roles makes you a better dancer because you get to
appreciate the affect of some moves on the other person.
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Which do you
speculate will come first?
a) The press will regularly refer to "X" rather than "X, formerly known
as Twitter"
OR
b) The contra dance world will agree to one of larks/robins or
gents/ladies