I heartily agree with all of John’s points, and the vital importance of the human lives behind them, but I also call for compassion and patience as communities discern their way forward. Each community grows at their own pace. Rural communities in particular, and I am from one of them, can be relatively isolated from the interconnected contra dance world, and may be only beginning this dialog. Remember how long and difficult this matter has been in the larger communities that have made or are making the transition, and give us grace to have our own conversations which we may be just beginning. Speaking for my own community, we *are* in dialog with our LGBTQ+ friends and participants, and I have heard personal assurances that they’re fine with ladies/gents, and in fact some prefer it for their own reasons. I realize this doesn’t address the folks who aren’t coming, and disclaimers about “this is just a dance roll” don’t cut it for everyone…. sigh. I’m doing what I can, and put my energy into authentically welcoming them by other means.
At the risk of venting, and not to diminish the mental harm some folks experience around gendered language, at the moment in our deeply red state we have some pretty big fish to fry in the way of potential harm to our LGBTQ+ loved ones. The fact we are dancing on the floor openly together seems pretty darned triumphant in the face of what’s happening in our nation, our state legislature and towns not that far away from us. The energy we might spend on this debate is energy we might need elsewhere right now.
I wish this were our biggest issue right now, and I wish I could help the local community at least consider moving to non-gendered calling. But I am one voice, and holding the mic is not the same as holding the gavel. The situation here may change generationally; or, by the time we are prepared to transition, the broader contra dance world may have moved on to other solutions; and g*d willing the country will have moved on from where it is now too.
I’m personally doing my best to master all the variations well enough to meet any community where they are. Please don’t scold us for being where we are.
-Joseph
> Which do you speculate will come first?
> a) The press will regularly refer to "X" rather than "X, formerly known as Twitter"
> OR
> b) The contra dance world will agree to one of larks/robins or gents/ladies
>
I like to point out two important factors that should influence the transition to larks/robins.
1. To some LGBTQ+ people being called a Lady or Gent is mentally harmful because gender ID is a very important matter and sometimes has a long and often uncomfortable personal history.
2. It helps encourage people to dance both roles.
a) I’ve been at dances where there are more people of one gender than the other and as a result some dancers sit out a dance because they feel uncomfortable about asking someone of the same gender to dance. And there are some people who think that Ladies shouldn’t ask Gents to dance.
b) I think dancing both roles makes you a better dancer because you get to appreciate the affect of some moves on the other person.
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