I've taught many beginning ladies how to keep a strong dance frame, how to
use it to regulate the degree of closeness with whoever is swinging them.
 It seemed to me simple for women to learn how to deal with men that try to
hold them too close.
And then I started dancing the woman's role from time to time, and in one
dance in particular, there was a shadow swing, and my shadow was a larger
man, probably with issues, uncomfortable with a man dancing the woman's
role, and he grabbed me tight and got all romantic, as a joke?, but it was
very uncomfortable to me, and he was larger than me, and I couldn't get
extracted, and didn't say anything, and felt I understood...
Dennis
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 6:47 PM, <callers-request(a)sharedweight.net> wrote:
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 Today's Topics:
   1. Re: mental health and dance calling (Amy Cann)
   2. Re: mental health and dance calling (Bree Kalb)
   3. Re: mental health and dance calling (Amy Cann)
   4. Re: mental health and dance calling (Martha Edwards)
   5. Re: unwelcome behavior (Martha Edwards)
   6. alternate formations (Richard Mckeever)
   7. Re: alternate formations (Alan Winston - SSRL Central Computing)
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 Message: 1
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 12:03:17 -0400
 From: Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org>
 To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
 Message-ID:
        <CALZWU+t7PGH_zRxzfR+tUy2=DJHrFtrpxkm=w4CC9Hvk0Focsg(a)mail.gmail.com
  
 Content-Type: text/plain;
charset=ISO-8859-1
 It's funny, I'm listening to all of these stories and thinking about the
 creepers I've run into over the years, and I'm thinking to myself:
 "Well, it's really quite simple, isn't it? Ladies, if a gent is being
 inappropriate, walk away!
 Just wait until you're out at the top or bottom, turn to him and say 'I am
 uncomfortable with what you are doing and am not going to finish this dance
 with you' -- and then do it. Walk off. And if he's really offensive, don't
 wait until the end, bail out right then and there. The world won't end if a
 line of dancers has to cope with a hole. What's more important, ten more
 minutes of perfect dancing for that line, at that dance, or a really good
 behavior-modification moment that will actually improve the dance community
 more in the long run?"
 And yet it isn't that simple, is it? We don't do it. We have these halls
 just filled with women who are about as uniformly
 modern/educated/self-actuated/socially conscious/feminist as it gets, who
 spend our days running businesses or doing high end IT/research --  or
 teaching children or counseling teens or lobbying to pass laws on issues
 just like this -- and not once in my experience have I ever known a woman
 to
 say "Nope, enough, not going to let you do this."
 Heck, I've marched eighth grade boys (and girls) off the playground for
 inappropriate behavior without a flinch, but at a dance, when it's *me?
 *I've
 been groped and dipped and clenched a few times over the years and the most
 overt thing I've ever done is reached back, grabbed his hand, moved it up
 about six inches to the small of my back, and said "works much better for
 me
 if you keep your hand *there". *The other times, I've simply become ice
 cold/distant and stopped making eye contact - which can be quite the
 putdown
 if you really work it, smile and nod at all of your neighbors but shut down
 completely every time you return to your partner. But have I truly called
 them out on it? No. And neither have any of my peers.
 Food for thought.
 ------------------------------
 Message: 2
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 13:15:09 -0400
 From: "Bree Kalb" <bree(a)mindspring.com>
 To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
 Message-ID: <36DF3156E5FA448B88FBF5C1106D581C@BreeHomeLaptop>
 Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
        reply-type=original
 Amy wrote: But have I truly called
 them out on it? No. And neither have any of my peers.
 I have.
 Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
 occasionally.
 I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back, saying:
 "I don't want to dance that close.' Or: "I don't sleaze
dance." The next
 time they've asked me to dance,  I've said "I'll only dance with you
again
 if you don't (do that particular thing again.)" They've always agreed and
 behaved themselves, for that dance. When I come to them in the line, I
 automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
 younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even someone
 like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly shy) is uneasy being so bold.
 So it's important that the organizers pay attention and act. Our board
 actually banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls;
 other dance organizers in the area followed suit.
 Bree Kalb
 Carrboro
 ------------------------------
 Message: 3
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 13:27:09 -0400
 From: Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org>
 To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
 Message-ID:
        <CALZWU+s=JBRxuF8ZvN6_vwBDE+iQ6D6q_8727TRiseZ8CvNS9Q(a)mail.gmail.com
  
 Content-Type: text/plain;
charset=ISO-8859-1
 I'll bet this discussion is going to continue for a bit, so let's clarify:
 I've ALWAYS made people stop what they are doing -- made them leave more
 room, move a hand -- I've just always done it non-verbally. If I don't want
 to be dipped, I don't get dipped -- I can shift my weight or go inert in
 ways that make it impossible. I'm not shy about taking care of myself, and
 that cold/silent treatment is pretty darn harsh/unmistakable (just ask my
 husband :)
 But on reflection, it's always been a private interchange. By "calling
 out",
 I mean it in the most specific way: calling them out from the crowd, into
 the spotlight, to be addressed in front of an audience. I've very rarely
 seen this happen, and have never heard of a woman walking off the floor
 mid-dance.
 On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 1:15 PM, Bree Kalb <bree(a)mindspring.com> wrote:
 > Amy wrote: But have I truly called
  
 > them out on it? No. And neither have
any of my peers.
  
 > I have.
 > Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
 > occasionally.
 > I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back,
 saying:
  "I don't want to dance that close.'
Or: "I don't sleaze dance." The next
 time they've asked me to dance,  I've said "I'll only dance with you
 again
  if you don't (do that particular thing
again.)" They've always agreed and
 behaved themselves, for that dance. When I come to them in the line, I
 automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
 younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even someone
 like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly shy) is uneasy being so bold. 
 So
  it's important that the organizers pay
attention and act. Our board 
 actually
 > banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls; other
 > dance organizers in the area followed suit.
  
 > Bree Kalb
 > Carrboro
 > ______________________________**_________________
 > Callers mailing list
 > Callers(a)sharedweight.net
 > 
http://www.sharedweight.net/**mailman/listinfo/callers<
 http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers>
  
 ------------------------------
 Message: 4
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 14:32:07 -0500
 From: Martha Edwards <meedwards(a)westendweb.com>
 To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
 Message-ID:
        <CAJjmMcPtmmmmaO5KSLND-SEw3Bop2YQADhO2w7xSqtCsQNG=yA(a)mail.gmail.com
  
 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
 Good points, all, as usual.
 The more difficult problem is how to keep the creeps from behaving that way
 with younger, or newer, dancers, who don't know yet what sort of atmosphere
 we generally maintain, and are reluctant to "cause a scene". Mostly, I
 think, if it's too bad, they just go away, never to return and find out
 that
 99% of dancers would never think of acting that way.
 So, when we tell these folks a direct "NO" (and we should, oh yes, we
 should!) we can do those dancers a favor and tell the creeps exactly what
 they did that was offensive. Tell them what they did and how you feel about
 it. And tell a trustworthy board member.
 I admit I haven't always been direct with people on my own behalf - I just
 get away and move on. Oddly, I'm much more comfortable speaking to these
 folks on behalf of others. No fear. Wonder what that's about.
 M
 E
 On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 12:27 PM, Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org> wrote:
  I'll bet this discussion is going to continue
for a bit, so let's 
 clarify:
  
 > I've ALWAYS made people stop what
they are doing -- made them leave more
 > room, move a hand -- I've just always done it non-verbally. If I don't
 want
  to be dipped, I don't get dipped -- I can
shift my weight or go inert in
 ways that make it impossible. I'm not shy about taking care of myself, 
 and
 > that cold/silent treatment is pretty darn harsh/unmistakable (just ask my
 > husband :)
  
 > But on reflection, it's always
been a private interchange. By "calling
 > out",
 > I mean it in the most specific way: calling them out from the crowd, into
 > the spotlight, to be addressed in front of an audience. I've very rarely
 > seen this happen, and have never heard of a woman walking off the floor
 > mid-dance.
  
 
  
  
  
 > On Sat, Jul 9,
2011 at 1:15 PM, Bree Kalb <bree(a)mindspring.com> wrote:
  
 > > Amy wrote: But have I truly
called
 >
  
 > > them out on it? No. And
neither have any of my peers.
 >
  
 > > I have.
 > > Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
 > > occasionally.
 > > I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back,
 > saying:
 > > "I don't want to dance that close.' Or: "I don't sleaze
dance." The
 next
   time
they've asked me to dance,  I've said "I'll only dance with you 
again
 > if you don't (do that particular thing again.)" They've always agreed
  and
  > behaved themselves, for that dance. When I
come to them in the line, I
 > automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
 > younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even 
 someone
  > like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly
shy) is uneasy being so 
 bold.
 > So
 >
  it's important that the organizers pay
attention and act. Our board 
 > actually
 > > banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls;
 other
 > > dance organizers in the area followed suit.
 >
  
 > > Bree Kalb
 > > Carrboro
 > > ______________________________**_________________
 > > Callers mailing list
 > > Callers(a)sharedweight.net
 > > 
http://www.sharedweight.net/**mailman/listinfo/callers<
 > 
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers>
 >
  
 >
_______________________________________________
 > Callers mailing list
 > Callers(a)sharedweight.net
 > 
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers
  
 --
 As you set out for Ithaka, pray that your journey be long, full of
 adventure, full of discovery...
 May there be many summer mornings when, with what pleasure, with what joy,
 you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time.
 ~Constantine Cavafy, "Ithaka" 1911
 ------------------------------
 Message: 5
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 15:09:25 -0500
 From: Martha Edwards <meedwards(a)westendweb.com>
 To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] unwelcome behavior
 Message-ID:
        <CAJjmMcPMteUijM5uawWOCauvUZvwJGJVL05Dkkca=Bb6j9pssg(a)mail.gmail.com
  
 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
 Here, it's easy. We don't allow lifting people off the floor.
 We have one person with a very mild mental illness who wasn't judging very
 well when to do it and when not, and wasn't always doing it safely, so we
 just made it a rule, not to be broken, that no one does it, to make it
 easier for him to remember.
 We also have a board member who loves doing aerials, does them with safety
 and with permission and all other good stuff, but he can't do it at our
 dances either, just because the hard-and-fast rule is the only way we can
 keep the rest of us from being cut off at the knees when the other guy was
 swinging new dancers off their feet and their legs cut a six-foot circle
 sweep.
 I also saw a caller in Kansas City stop a dance once and tell a
 particularly
 aggressive dancer to stop lifting people off the ground. "I have liability
 here, and I'm not going to continue calling if you keep doing that."  I
 think the dancers applauded.
 I had the pleasure of meeting Frankie Manning, who invented the aerial in
 swing dancing in 1935, and was particularly impressed with the amount of
 practice he and his partner did before they ever tried it on a dance floor
 -
 with mattresses covering the floor of his living room while they learned
 how.
 M
 E
 On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM, Greg McKenzie <grekenzie(a)gmail.com>
 wrote:
  
 
 > I would love to hear how other dance communities have dealt with this
 > issue.
  
 > - Greg McKenzie
 > _______________________________________________
 > Callers mailing list
 > Callers(a)sharedweight.net
 > 
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers
  
 ------------------------------
 Message: 6
 Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 14:12:41 -0700 (PDT)
 From: Richard Mckeever <macmck(a)ymail.com>
 To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: [Callers] alternate formations
 Message-ID:
        <1310245961.53389.YahooMailNeo(a)web120406.mail.ne1.yahoo.com>
 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
 Here is a new topic...
 Recently I have noticed that many of the programs presented have consisted
 solely of duple improper contras with a couple Becket dances thrown in for
 variety.
 I would be interesting to hear how other callers incorporate other
 formations in their programs and how they and the dancer feel about it
 This would include - but not be limited to:
 circles dances
 Sicilian circles
 Squares
 4 facing 4
 triple minors
 scatter mixers
 other??
 Comments by formation would be interesting as would regional variations in
 programming
 Mac McKeever
 St Louis
 ------------------------------
 Message: 7
 Date: Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:22:23 -0700 (PDT)
 From: Alan Winston - SSRL Central Computing
        <winston(a)slac.stanford.edu>
 To: Richard Mckeever <macmck(a)ymail.com>
 Cc: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
 Subject: Re: [Callers] alternate formations
 Message-ID: <01O3G5YHDG8WBPO4IB(a)SSRL.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU>
 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=us-ascii
 Mac asked about how other callerrs incorporate other formations into their
 programs.
 I call English (for 25+ years), barn dances, historical-themed
 (Regency/Early
 American, Civil War, Dickens) and contra (for the last five or so years,
 but
 only a few times a year).
 My answers are different for each kind of thing.
 For English, I typically call more duple minor (usually proper) than
 anything
 else, but try to mix it up with small-set dances (two-couple set,
 three-couple
 set, squares) and a triple minor or two in an evening.  Since tunes go with
 particular dances, I also consider variety in mood, key, meter, and tempo
 when
 I'm making up the program.  (I'll also use what I know about the musicians
 I
 have that night and try to keep away from notey reels for a fiddler with
 tendinitis, bias toward Bb tunes if I have a cello player, etc.)
 For barn dances, anything goes.  Sicilians, threesome Sicilians, big
 circles,
 grand march, circle mixer, whatever.
 For historically-themed, it depends somewhat on what I can justify
 historically,  so Regency has lots of longways duples and some triples,
 mixed
 with an occasional three-couple set (adapted from a triple minor, like
 Fandango, Prince William, etc), interspersed with waltzes.
 For Civil War / Victorian, Sicilians, threesome Sicilians, whole sets  in
 longways formation (Gothic Dance, Virginia Reel/Roger de Coverley), mixed
 up
 with waltzes, polkas, schottisches and galops.
 Around here (SF Bay Area) if you do a whole evening of duple-minor improper
 contras at a contra dance, nobody complains about it.  Some callers like to
 include a square or two in an evening.  A noticeable number of people will
 sit
 down if they realize it's a square.  (As a dancer, I've had a partner bail
 on
 me when she realized it was a square.)  That doesn't happen as much at
 local
 weekend or week-long camps, but at regular dances with local callers, 10%
 or
 more of the people who'd be up for a contra sit down for a square.  I'm not
 the
 miracle square dance caller who's going to change their minds about it,
 either,
 so I don't program squares.
 When I first started calling contras here, my ten-dance program might have
 a
 circle mixer in slot three and a triplet sometime after the break.  I've
 had
 complaints relayed to me about calling 'gimmicky' dances, and I wasn't
 getting
 great response from the triplets, so I've dropped those.  I want to get
 invited
 back to call again, and I don't need to change everybody's mind about what
 a
 good time is.
 My most recent program (a very successful outing in Monterey last month)
 had a
 circle mixer in slot three (setting the ground for the poussette figure I
 used
 in "Joyride" later) and a four-face-four right after the break, and I got
 positive response to both of those.  (The music was great; if it weren't I
 could have had the best program in the world and it wouldn't have been a
 wonderful evening.)
 -- Alan
 --
 ===============================================================================
  Alan Winston --- WINSTON(a)SSRL.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU
  Disclaimer: I speak only for myself, not SLAC or SSRL   Phone:
 650/926-3056
  Paper mail to: SSRL -- SLAC BIN 99, 2575 Sand Hill Rd, Menlo Park CA
 94025
 ===============================================================================
 ------------------------------
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 End of Callers Digest, Vol 83, Issue 7
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