I've taught many beginning ladies how to keep a strong dance frame, how to
use it to regulate the degree of closeness with whoever is swinging them.
It seemed to me simple for women to learn how to deal with men that try to
hold them too close.
And then I started dancing the woman's role from time to time, and in one
dance in particular, there was a shadow swing, and my shadow was a larger
man, probably with issues, uncomfortable with a man dancing the woman's
role, and he grabbed me tight and got all romantic, as a joke?, but it was
very uncomfortable to me, and he was larger than me, and I couldn't get
extracted, and didn't say anything, and felt I understood...
Dennis
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 6:47 PM, <callers-request(a)sharedweight.net> wrote:
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Today's Topics:
1. Re: mental health and dance calling (Amy Cann)
2. Re: mental health and dance calling (Bree Kalb)
3. Re: mental health and dance calling (Amy Cann)
4. Re: mental health and dance calling (Martha Edwards)
5. Re: unwelcome behavior (Martha Edwards)
6. alternate formations (Richard Mckeever)
7. Re: alternate formations (Alan Winston - SSRL Central Computing)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message: 1
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 12:03:17 -0400
From: Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org>
To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
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It's funny, I'm listening to all of these stories and thinking about the
creepers I've run into over the years, and I'm thinking to myself:
"Well, it's really quite simple, isn't it? Ladies, if a gent is being
inappropriate, walk away!
Just wait until you're out at the top or bottom, turn to him and say 'I am
uncomfortable with what you are doing and am not going to finish this dance
with you' -- and then do it. Walk off. And if he's really offensive, don't
wait until the end, bail out right then and there. The world won't end if a
line of dancers has to cope with a hole. What's more important, ten more
minutes of perfect dancing for that line, at that dance, or a really good
behavior-modification moment that will actually improve the dance community
more in the long run?"
And yet it isn't that simple, is it? We don't do it. We have these halls
just filled with women who are about as uniformly
modern/educated/self-actuated/socially conscious/feminist as it gets, who
spend our days running businesses or doing high end IT/research -- or
teaching children or counseling teens or lobbying to pass laws on issues
just like this -- and not once in my experience have I ever known a woman
to
say "Nope, enough, not going to let you do this."
Heck, I've marched eighth grade boys (and girls) off the playground for
inappropriate behavior without a flinch, but at a dance, when it's *me?
*I've
been groped and dipped and clenched a few times over the years and the most
overt thing I've ever done is reached back, grabbed his hand, moved it up
about six inches to the small of my back, and said "works much better for
me
if you keep your hand *there". *The other times, I've simply become ice
cold/distant and stopped making eye contact - which can be quite the
putdown
if you really work it, smile and nod at all of your neighbors but shut down
completely every time you return to your partner. But have I truly called
them out on it? No. And neither have any of my peers.
Food for thought.
------------------------------
Message: 2
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 13:15:09 -0400
From: "Bree Kalb" <bree(a)mindspring.com>
To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
Message-ID: <36DF3156E5FA448B88FBF5C1106D581C@BreeHomeLaptop>
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reply-type=original
Amy wrote: But have I truly called
them out on it? No. And neither have any of my peers.
I have.
Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
occasionally.
I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back, saying:
"I don't want to dance that close.' Or: "I don't sleaze
dance." The next
time they've asked me to dance, I've said "I'll only dance with you
again
if you don't (do that particular thing again.)" They've always agreed and
behaved themselves, for that dance. When I come to them in the line, I
automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even someone
like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly shy) is uneasy being so bold.
So it's important that the organizers pay attention and act. Our board
actually banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls;
other dance organizers in the area followed suit.
Bree Kalb
Carrboro
------------------------------
Message: 3
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 13:27:09 -0400
From: Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org>
To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
Message-ID:
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I'll bet this discussion is going to continue for a bit, so let's clarify:
I've ALWAYS made people stop what they are doing -- made them leave more
room, move a hand -- I've just always done it non-verbally. If I don't want
to be dipped, I don't get dipped -- I can shift my weight or go inert in
ways that make it impossible. I'm not shy about taking care of myself, and
that cold/silent treatment is pretty darn harsh/unmistakable (just ask my
husband :)
But on reflection, it's always been a private interchange. By "calling
out",
I mean it in the most specific way: calling them out from the crowd, into
the spotlight, to be addressed in front of an audience. I've very rarely
seen this happen, and have never heard of a woman walking off the floor
mid-dance.
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 1:15 PM, Bree Kalb <bree(a)mindspring.com> wrote:
> Amy wrote: But have I truly called
> them out on it? No. And neither have
any of my peers.
> I have.
> Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
> occasionally.
> I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back,
saying:
"I don't want to dance that close.'
Or: "I don't sleaze dance." The next
time they've asked me to dance, I've said "I'll only dance with you
again
if you don't (do that particular thing
again.)" They've always agreed and
behaved themselves, for that dance. When I come to them in the line, I
automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even someone
like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly shy) is uneasy being so bold.
So
it's important that the organizers pay
attention and act. Our board
actually
> banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls; other
> dance organizers in the area followed suit.
> Bree Kalb
> Carrboro
> ______________________________**_________________
> Callers mailing list
> Callers(a)sharedweight.net
>
http://www.sharedweight.net/**mailman/listinfo/callers<
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers>
------------------------------
Message: 4
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 14:32:07 -0500
From: Martha Edwards <meedwards(a)westendweb.com>
To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling
Message-ID:
<CAJjmMcPtmmmmaO5KSLND-SEw3Bop2YQADhO2w7xSqtCsQNG=yA(a)mail.gmail.com
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8
Good points, all, as usual.
The more difficult problem is how to keep the creeps from behaving that way
with younger, or newer, dancers, who don't know yet what sort of atmosphere
we generally maintain, and are reluctant to "cause a scene". Mostly, I
think, if it's too bad, they just go away, never to return and find out
that
99% of dancers would never think of acting that way.
So, when we tell these folks a direct "NO" (and we should, oh yes, we
should!) we can do those dancers a favor and tell the creeps exactly what
they did that was offensive. Tell them what they did and how you feel about
it. And tell a trustworthy board member.
I admit I haven't always been direct with people on my own behalf - I just
get away and move on. Oddly, I'm much more comfortable speaking to these
folks on behalf of others. No fear. Wonder what that's about.
M
E
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 12:27 PM, Amy Cann <acann(a)putneyschool.org> wrote:
I'll bet this discussion is going to continue
for a bit, so let's
clarify:
> I've ALWAYS made people stop what
they are doing -- made them leave more
> room, move a hand -- I've just always done it non-verbally. If I don't
want
to be dipped, I don't get dipped -- I can
shift my weight or go inert in
ways that make it impossible. I'm not shy about taking care of myself,
and
> that cold/silent treatment is pretty darn harsh/unmistakable (just ask my
> husband :)
> But on reflection, it's always
been a private interchange. By "calling
> out",
> I mean it in the most specific way: calling them out from the crowd, into
> the spotlight, to be addressed in front of an audience. I've very rarely
> seen this happen, and have never heard of a woman walking off the floor
> mid-dance.
> On Sat, Jul 9,
2011 at 1:15 PM, Bree Kalb <bree(a)mindspring.com> wrote:
> > Amy wrote: But have I truly
called
>
> > them out on it? No. And
neither have any of my peers.
>
> > I have.
> > Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
> > occasionally.
> > I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back,
> saying:
> > "I don't want to dance that close.' Or: "I don't sleaze
dance." The
next
time
they've asked me to dance, I've said "I'll only dance with you
again
> if you don't (do that particular thing again.)" They've always agreed
and
> behaved themselves, for that dance. When I
come to them in the line, I
> automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
> younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even
someone
> like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly
shy) is uneasy being so
bold.
> So
>
it's important that the organizers pay
attention and act. Our board
> actually
> > banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls;
other
> > dance organizers in the area followed suit.
>
> > Bree Kalb
> > Carrboro
> > ______________________________**_________________
> > Callers mailing list
> > Callers(a)sharedweight.net
> >
http://www.sharedweight.net/**mailman/listinfo/callers<
>
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers>
>
>
_______________________________________________
> Callers mailing list
> Callers(a)sharedweight.net
>
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers
--
As you set out for Ithaka, pray that your journey be long, full of
adventure, full of discovery...
May there be many summer mornings when, with what pleasure, with what joy,
you enter harbors you're seeing for the first time.
~Constantine Cavafy, "Ithaka" 1911
------------------------------
Message: 5
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 15:09:25 -0500
From: Martha Edwards <meedwards(a)westendweb.com>
To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] unwelcome behavior
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Here, it's easy. We don't allow lifting people off the floor.
We have one person with a very mild mental illness who wasn't judging very
well when to do it and when not, and wasn't always doing it safely, so we
just made it a rule, not to be broken, that no one does it, to make it
easier for him to remember.
We also have a board member who loves doing aerials, does them with safety
and with permission and all other good stuff, but he can't do it at our
dances either, just because the hard-and-fast rule is the only way we can
keep the rest of us from being cut off at the knees when the other guy was
swinging new dancers off their feet and their legs cut a six-foot circle
sweep.
I also saw a caller in Kansas City stop a dance once and tell a
particularly
aggressive dancer to stop lifting people off the ground. "I have liability
here, and I'm not going to continue calling if you keep doing that." I
think the dancers applauded.
I had the pleasure of meeting Frankie Manning, who invented the aerial in
swing dancing in 1935, and was particularly impressed with the amount of
practice he and his partner did before they ever tried it on a dance floor
-
with mattresses covering the floor of his living room while they learned
how.
M
E
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM, Greg McKenzie <grekenzie(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
> I would love to hear how other dance communities have dealt with this
> issue.
> - Greg McKenzie
> _______________________________________________
> Callers mailing list
> Callers(a)sharedweight.net
>
http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers
------------------------------
Message: 6
Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2011 14:12:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: Richard Mckeever <macmck(a)ymail.com>
To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] alternate formations
Message-ID:
<1310245961.53389.YahooMailNeo(a)web120406.mail.ne1.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Here is a new topic...
Recently I have noticed that many of the programs presented have consisted
solely of duple improper contras with a couple Becket dances thrown in for
variety.
I would be interesting to hear how other callers incorporate other
formations in their programs and how they and the dancer feel about it
This would include - but not be limited to:
circles dances
Sicilian circles
Squares
4 facing 4
triple minors
scatter mixers
other??
Comments by formation would be interesting as would regional variations in
programming
Mac McKeever
St Louis
------------------------------
Message: 7
Date: Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:22:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: Alan Winston - SSRL Central Computing
<winston(a)slac.stanford.edu>
To: Richard Mckeever <macmck(a)ymail.com>
Cc: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Subject: Re: [Callers] alternate formations
Message-ID: <01O3G5YHDG8WBPO4IB(a)SSRL.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU>
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=us-ascii
Mac asked about how other callerrs incorporate other formations into their
programs.
I call English (for 25+ years), barn dances, historical-themed
(Regency/Early
American, Civil War, Dickens) and contra (for the last five or so years,
but
only a few times a year).
My answers are different for each kind of thing.
For English, I typically call more duple minor (usually proper) than
anything
else, but try to mix it up with small-set dances (two-couple set,
three-couple
set, squares) and a triple minor or two in an evening. Since tunes go with
particular dances, I also consider variety in mood, key, meter, and tempo
when
I'm making up the program. (I'll also use what I know about the musicians
I
have that night and try to keep away from notey reels for a fiddler with
tendinitis, bias toward Bb tunes if I have a cello player, etc.)
For barn dances, anything goes. Sicilians, threesome Sicilians, big
circles,
grand march, circle mixer, whatever.
For historically-themed, it depends somewhat on what I can justify
historically, so Regency has lots of longways duples and some triples,
mixed
with an occasional three-couple set (adapted from a triple minor, like
Fandango, Prince William, etc), interspersed with waltzes.
For Civil War / Victorian, Sicilians, threesome Sicilians, whole sets in
longways formation (Gothic Dance, Virginia Reel/Roger de Coverley), mixed
up
with waltzes, polkas, schottisches and galops.
Around here (SF Bay Area) if you do a whole evening of duple-minor improper
contras at a contra dance, nobody complains about it. Some callers like to
include a square or two in an evening. A noticeable number of people will
sit
down if they realize it's a square. (As a dancer, I've had a partner bail
on
me when she realized it was a square.) That doesn't happen as much at
local
weekend or week-long camps, but at regular dances with local callers, 10%
or
more of the people who'd be up for a contra sit down for a square. I'm not
the
miracle square dance caller who's going to change their minds about it,
either,
so I don't program squares.
When I first started calling contras here, my ten-dance program might have
a
circle mixer in slot three and a triplet sometime after the break. I've
had
complaints relayed to me about calling 'gimmicky' dances, and I wasn't
getting
great response from the triplets, so I've dropped those. I want to get
invited
back to call again, and I don't need to change everybody's mind about what
a
good time is.
My most recent program (a very successful outing in Monterey last month)
had a
circle mixer in slot three (setting the ground for the poussette figure I
used
in "Joyride" later) and a four-face-four right after the break, and I got
positive response to both of those. (The music was great; if it weren't I
could have had the best program in the world and it wouldn't have been a
wonderful evening.)
-- Alan
--
===============================================================================
Alan Winston --- WINSTON(a)SSRL.SLAC.STANFORD.EDU
Disclaimer: I speak only for myself, not SLAC or SSRL Phone:
650/926-3056
Paper mail to: SSRL -- SLAC BIN 99, 2575 Sand Hill Rd, Menlo Park CA
94025
===============================================================================
------------------------------
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End of Callers Digest, Vol 83, Issue 7
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