Re: [Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance - Contra Callers

18 Dec 2017

Kalia,

At South Bay Contra ( SF Bay Area) we have a sign posted around the hall (edited from a
sign that I got from Pasadena Contra that edited the sign from Lake City Contra).  It
says: 
When looking for your next dance partner, please know: 
Anyone can ask anyone.  Don’t wait to be asked.
If someone asks you to dance, it’s fine to say no.  
You don’t have to sit out a dance because you declined an offer. 
If you want to dance, ask someone right after the last dance ends. Sitting down means you
are not going to dance.

We also ask that the caller reiterate this during the lesson and during the dance.  

Claire Takemori 

On 12/16/17 11:39 AM, Kalia Kliban via Callers wrote:
...
  Hi all,

 Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember 
 the rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. 
 A very competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I 
 did (late 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to 
 dance because he doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking 
 "If I don't dance with this guy then I have to sit one out.? Oh crap, 
 guess I'll have to dance with him."? For the record, he's a totally 
 solid and delightful dancer.

 To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been 
 replaced, and what has it been replaced with?? In your dance 
 community, do you have a written statement of the etiquette around 
 this?? Our community's statement doesn't directly address this issue.

 Kalia
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