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Re: mental health and dance calling (Greg McKenzie) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Message: 1 Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 15:05:05 -0500 From: jill allen &lt;jillallen3(a)att.net&gt; To: callers(a)sharedweight.net Subject: [Callers] mental health and dance calling Message-ID: &lt;C6B30E88-7FF3-4C61-9CFA-ECAC3CAAF3DD(a)att.net&gt; Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared one night ranting about the police and tasers. He was drooling and showing delusional behavior, and was still dancing. Most dancers didn't think much of it, but some were very upset. He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk and greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan. I talked with the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but you know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting, and something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every time he came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and vice versa. I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was living with him. His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance weekend. He explained that his father's death and his guilt for being gone had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to make friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really sweet person. I used to dr ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is still coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are better adjusted now and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, for the most part. I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship. Good luck, Jill Allen ------------------------------ Message: 2 Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 18:42:05 -0400 From: "Bree Kalb" &lt;bree(a)mindspring.com&gt; To: &lt;callers(a)sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling Message-ID: <92215C3FFBA84A9AB01D7D42E3466820@BreeHomeLaptop> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1"; reply-type=original What a lovely story, Jill. Although I'm a mental health professional I'm often unsure how to include dancers with obvious problems. You've provided an inspiration. Bree Kalb Carrboro NC -----Original Message----- From: jill allen Sent: Wednesday, July 06, 2011 4:05 PM To: callers(a)sharedweight.net Subject: [Callers] mental health and dance calling We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared one night ranting about the police and tasers. He was drooling and showing delusional behavior, and was still dancing. Most dancers didn't think much of it, but some were very upset. He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk and greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan. I talked with the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but you know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting, and something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every time he came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and vice versa. I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was living with him. His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance weekend. He explained that his father's death and his guilt for being gone had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to make friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really sweet person. I used to dr ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is still coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are better adjusted now and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, for the most part. I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship. Good luck, Jill Allen ------------------------------ Message: 3 Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 18:31:55 -0700 From: Greg McKenzie &lt;grekenzie(a)gmail.com&gt; To: "Caller's discussion list" &lt;callers(a)sharedweight.net&gt; Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling Message-ID: &lt;CAFqkWLtshhmp_+C-2utra9vzdEQ3AwUWaEamr9a0XyLBB_ugRg(a)mail.gmail.com&gt; Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Thank you Jill! What a wonderful story! I am going to chime in with one of my own stories. I have been observing the dances for years and there are many stories. This one is not as delightful as yours. Years ago a man started attending a dance where I called often. After about a year some women complained to me that he seemed to always have whiskey on his breath. He also always seemed to be lost during the dances. Some women started avoiding him. I decided to take some action and had a casual conversation with him one night. He mentioned that my calling was always very clear but that he often got confused with other callers. I thanked him and mentioned--in a lighthearted way--that, for me, I get confused if I've had one or two glassess of wine. He didn't say anything. He kept attending dances, but a bit less often. About six months later someone told me that he had committed suicide. I have always wished I could have handled that one a little better. I still feel that it was a lost opportunity. Now I am living with a therapist so this kind of thing is much more salient to me. - Greg McKenzie ************** On Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 1:05 PM, jill allen &lt;jillallen3(a)att.net&gt; wrote: ------------------------------ _______________________________________________ Callers mailing list Callers(a)sharedweight.net http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers End of Callers Digest, Vol 83, Issue 3 **************************************