i have a friend in atlanta who had to have rotator cuff surgery after being twirled against her will at a dance. both people were experienced dancers who knew each other, and normally she twirled. but that night she was tired or something, and didn't want to, he missed the signal to stop, and she was injured. both these dancers are people who i consider to be very good dancers, and who are considerate of their partners and often dance with new people. and STILL - she was injured. for awhile, i talked about this at dances. usually, about the second dance i would include a figure with a courtesy turn, and talk about the courtesy turn during the walk-thru, saying something like "a courtesy turn should be just that - COURTEOUS! gents, if the lady wants to twirl, it's only polite to help her out. if she doesn't want to or doesn't know how, though, it would be discourteous to force her! be sure to *communicate* with the person you're dancing with." and then i'd mention my friend in atlanta and say something like "she resisted, he insisted". i got VERY STRONG comments on this - both positive and negative - from dancers. a surprising number of men thanked me for mentioning it. a surprising number of women thought i was out of line. same thing when i talk about swinging. when i teach ballroom position to new dancers, i have the gents stand with hands at side and ladies put their left hand over the gents shoulder and GENTLY lean back - the lady should not fall down! i call swinging an "equal opportunity activity" and also note that "it's NOT the gents' job to carry ladies through the swings all night - their arms will fall off at the end of the evening and we don't want that!" you wouldn't believe how many women have commented "well, that's not the way we do it here", as their partners groan in pain. barb _________________________________________________________________ With Windows Live for mobile, your contacts travel with you. http://www.windowslive.com/mobile/overview.html?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_Refresh_m…

Thank you everyone for your contributions. I would like to compile more suggestions, however. I'll take a stab at remembering a few I've heard from the floor. (apologies to Lisa Greenleaf and other callers if I misremember some of them) - The hall is crowded tonight, take care of each other - Allemande: curl your fingers around the base of your partner's thumb and gently pull straight back; the wrist does not bend. - During the swing, each person's back is vertical and is supporting their own weight. Ladies can help by putting their left hand behind the gent's shoulder to support themselves. - Leading a twirl is a suggestion, not a command - Talk to each other - let your partner know if what they're doing is uncomfortable or painful and what they can do to make dancing with them more pleasurable. - Everyone has the right to say "no thank you" when asked to dance and then dance with someone else - Ladies, if you are being held too close in the swing, put your palm against the front of his shoulder and push Maybe some things that should be said from the microphone occasionally: - If you're having an unpleasant dance experience with your partner, you can drop out at either the top or bottom of the set before the dance is over - Feel free to talk to one of the organizers or the person minding the cash box if you have a problem with another dancer I look forward to your feedback. Chris Weiler Goffstown, NH Greg McKenzie wrote: