On calling circle mixers at contra dances Martha Wild wrote: Ok. Let me make some gentle comments. No one is trying to assign guilt here. The issue concerns how our words and actions are perceived, not our intention. Implied messages are almost never sent with conscious intention. The implied message is often inferred from the necessary consequence of the explicit message. Implied messages can reveal the subconscious assumptions of the speaker. This is why we usually trust implied messages more than explicit ones. Our true feelings are often revealed by our implied messages. I prefer for the caller to assume the support of everyone in the hall and both speak and act as if everyone is already with them. By making this assumption the caller will communicate using implied messages, which are then much more effective because they are positive assumptions about the audience. Because implied messages are often sent by what we do NOT do or say they will also save us all a considerable amount of time. A detailed analysis of implied messages, however, is too complex for this venue. Nancy wrote: This is precisely why I call contras. Circle mixers can also have the same effects. I use mixers at one-night-stands and other private events. My comments were intended to explain why I am not currently calling mixers at regular contra dances. In this discussion there were some very different perceptions expressed about the popularity and enjoyment of circle mixers at contra dances. Some heard “grumbling” and saw other negative reactions while others were “shocked” to hear any of this and saw almost universal acceptance of and enthusiasm for circle mixers. Is one group “right” and the other “wrong” in their perception? Or are we all simply looking at shadows on a cave wall and interpreting the images differently? If the latter is the case, then we need to listen to one another to get closer to reality. As leaders we have the ability, and the responsibility, to drive the perceptions and attitudes of the community with our own preferences, beliefs, and passions. I have no doubt that callers who love mixers can call them successfully with wide acceptance and that callers who prefer not to call them can also achieve success and wide acceptance. During the first half of the evening my priority is to empower the regular dancers to take an active role in welcoming and partnering with newcomers. I work to give them an active and critical role in doing so. Consequently I take responsibility for making sure that this process is both successful and enjoyable. I like to give them all the information I can to assist them in making proactive partnering decisions. For me it would be a violation of that contract to “spring” a mixer--or other non-contra formation--on them without first announcing it well before the partnering process starts. I consider the partnering process to begin at the start of the slot prior to the non-contra formation, before the walk-through begins. A good caller with a strong personality can call a widely varied program of dances and make it work, if only by force of character and skill. In fact, very poor callers can call a successful evening of contras simply with a high level of enthusiasm and charisma. Our ability to influence the audience needs to be tempered, however, with a strong commitment to getting unbiased and even brutal feedback from as many people as possible. We cannot afford to dismiss someone else’s perceptions or preferences as “incorrect” or to reject a non-supporting dancer as a “guilty party” who is merely “projecting their own guilt” onto the caller. This is why we need to stay open to new ideas, and to differing opinions. Yes. It hurts to acknowledge that someone might not appreciate our efforts, but that is our job. It goes with the territory. To grow and evolve as callers we need to maintain an open mind and an attitude of humility. If we do not we will be stuck with calling dances “…the way they always did it back in the day,” (…whatever you believe that was.) To keep this living tradition alive we need to foster and cultivate a tolerance for new ideas and new approaches to calling. I appreciate this list as a forum for doing that. Thank you all for sharing your widely divergent opinions. I hope we can all learn from this diversity. Thanks to Beth, Martha Wild, Chrissy, Bronwyn, Richard, Suzanne, Jeff, Joe, Nancy, Martha, and Ron for your thoughtful and insightful comments. - Greg