13 Sep
2009
13 Sep
'09
3:42 p.m.
Thanks, Mark for this.
The "joke" is not that you're dancing with someone of the same sex, of
course, but that you are momentarily surprised when your expectations are
not met. Then you figure out that it's okay, and you relax, you laugh. It's
simply the element of surprise - plus the realization that it's okay. If you
were surprised, but you thought it wasn't okay, you'd be frightened, not
amused.
But you are right about what you said. Homophobia is not funny.
I was pretty shocked, on a survey we sent out after our English-American
dance weekend last week, that one person complained about our "gay-themed"
dances and wanted us to announce them beforehand, so that he could sit them
out. Even though he described what he meant (guy swings and a "bait and
switch" gypsy to a two-hand-turn with a neighbor, who, in ECD is likely to
be your same-gender person), I could not see how any dance move is, well,
sexual, unless you yourself make it be. Heck, in the right hands, a
down-the-hall-and-back can give you a thrill. But even a gypsy is just
friendly, or it's funny, or it's a girl-power moment, or it's sisterly or
brotherly, or it's none of these, it's just a walk around your neighbor
facing in. So I didn't "get" the complaint and have no idea what to do with
it other than tuck it away in the "go figure" box.
As a heterosexual person who delights in her gay friends (my husband and I
took classes with, and joined, our local gay and lesbian square dance group,
so we are certified gay square dancers) I have to say that I am only just
starting to learn to be careful on behalf of my gay and lesbian friends, and
to see the homophobia I had just assumed *could not* be there. We're *
contradancers*, for goodness sake. We're the black sheep of our families. We
were the geeks and nerds in high school, lots of us. Who are we not to be
accepting?
M
E
On Sun, Sep 13, 2009 at 12:22 PM, Mark Galipeau <red72impala(a)yahoo.com>wrote;wrote:
Hmmmm.
It is not a joke to laugh at, as you say.
I have to tell you as a gay man dancing in recently at a Sacramento,
California contra, the caller on mike told the whole hall that my male
partner and I didn't have to dance together because there were plenty of
women sitting on the side.
At Glen Echo this summer I asked 10 men to dance and was refused by 9 of
them. All of the previous 9 were to be seen in the line dancing immediately
after I asked.
Most callers say "you can dance with who ever you want to", ie same sex
couples, yet in practice, homophobia exists and many male dancers are
freaked out by seeing me come to them for a swing, experienced or not.
Don't say that to the audience if your crowd is homophobic. It is very
hypocritical and just sets up your hall for an awkward moment.
(This could spin of into gender balance discussion at camps.)
Our queer contra in the San Francisco Bay Area had over 80 dancers last
night. The previous night the BACDS dance held it's last and final dance at
the same hall because they don't get enough dancers to pay the rent...I
think that is very telling.
Martha wrote
, that it's just done for fun and is okay. Forewarned is forearmed. New
dancers might think we're strange, but they won't have to panic and think
they've done something wrong. Maybe they'll even laugh as they get the joke.
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For the good are always the merry,
Save by an evil chance,
And the merry love the fiddle
And the merry love to dance. ~ William Butler Yeats