14 Jul
2023
14 Jul
'23
6:32 p.m.
Fascinating that we've all learned mostly the same things at wedding and other ONS
dances...
The "Rose" dance, or "Fan" dance, or "Hat Dance" is also fun
to do with a broom - the person in the middle who gets stuck with the broom can chase the
dancing couple down the hall a ways, while "Sweeping them away," if they want.
I've tried this one with various props, and I think the broom has been the most fun,
and funny.
Ben Allbrandt
On 07/05/2023 10:00 AM EDT Tony Parkes via Contra
Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
This is just about my favorite dance-game, but I had never encountered the name “Favor of
the Rose” before. I first learned it as “The Rose and the Thorn,” then more recently heard
“A Rose Between Two Thorns” (of course, traditionally it’s gendered and typically starts
with a lady between two gents). It’s also known as “The Hat Dance” or “The Fan Dance,”
depending on the prop used.
By coincidence, just last Saturday I bought a satin rose on plastic stem, to replace one
that I had carried in my kit for years and that had recently disappeared. The new one is
huge – twice the size and length of the old one; that’s what they had at Jo-Ann’s this
time. I wasn’t sure I liked it at first, but I’m warming to it. I got it to use at
Saturday night’s gig – a country club’s annual summer party for members & families –
but I barely had enough people for a decent Galopede.
Tony Parkes
Billerica, Mass.
www.hands4.com http://www.hands4.com/
New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century
(available now)
From: Neal Schlein via Contra Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Wednesday, July 5, 2023 12:32 AM
To: Mac Mckeever <macmck(a)ymail.com>
Cc: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
Second the Grand March, super simple square-ish dance, and some kind of Virginia
Reel—especially for more thematic weddings. Also a scatter promenade (WITH partner), Big
Circle with no partners needed, and La Bastringue.
I would not bother with ballroom swings, and building to a contra is only relevant if
that’s what the couple wants and they are specifically inviting people to a DANCE.
One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is Favor of the Rose: it is an absolute favorite of
mine and my dance community.
Favor of the Rose
-Line up three chairs and get a rose (or whatever).
-Form two lines of people, one on either side (any criteria, inequal is 💯 fine).
-Position the bride or groom in the middle chair and give them the rose.
-Bring two people from one line and have them sit. Center person gives rose to one,
dances up center with the other.
-Remaining person moves to center chair. Repeat, alternating lines.
Neal Schlein
On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 3:14 PM Mac Mckeever via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
I always start with a grand march - no teaching and eases some of the fear of doing other
dances
You can put the bride and groom in the second slot and announce they request
participation from all guests
Mac
On Tuesday, July 4, 2023 at 04:10:09 PM CDT, Rich Sbardella via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
I am enjoying this thread.
I have called weddings with a full dance floor with long periods of dancing, and others
which have a few dancers who only dance for a short period. I had always felt like I
failed when I did not get the participation I imagined, but I too have learned that our
dances flavor the event, but we are not the main attraction.
I do not generally require deposits for party dances, but I do for weddings and outdoor
events. I had a wedding to call last month that was cancelled about seven days before the
scheduled date, and without an explanation. It was the first time in 30 years that I kept
a deposit, and I am still conflicted about it. Any previous cancellations were weather
related, and I applied the deposit to a rescheduled event.
I have also called several wedding rehearsal dances, and generally get great
participation from the attendees.
One of my favorite dances for weddings and rehearsal dinners is Rural Felicity.
At such events I rename the dance to Tunnel of Love, and I have the Bride and Groom as
the 1st Top Couple.
A1 LL F&B, Top Pair Sashay to foot
A2 LL F&B, Same Pair Sashay to top
B1 P DSD, 2 Hand Turn and Make an Arch (Tunnel)
B2 Top Pair lead down under the Arches
I have a wedding to call this weekend, and I am looking forward to it.
Rich Sbardella
Stafford Springs, CT
On Tue, Jul 4, 2023 at 2:43 PM Erik Hoffman via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
--
Neal Schlein
Librarian, MSLIS
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I, too, have called for a lot of parties and weddings. Keeping it simple—whole set dances
such as The Virginia Reel (without the reel).
And, I actually wrote a book about it: Old-Time Dance Calling for Weddings, Parties, and
One-Night Stands.
I do differentiate weddings from other parties that are organized around the idea that
there will be a dance, such as schools, some sort of a club, or even a birthday party:
Weddings are to gather families and friends of the Bride & Groom to get together and
meet each other—often for the first time—and get a chance to get to know each other.
Weddings are not to get together to dance. We callers serve a wonderful service to use
dance to get these friends and families to interact with each other.
Tony says he rarely uses a mixer at a wedding. Maybe it’s that I live in Oakland,
California, and don’t often go far from the “Liberal” west. I always start simple circle
left, circle right, into the center & back X2, Swing Somebody (elbow swing or two hand
swing). I might add: and Promenade. End with: … “into the middle if you’ve just got
married!” Then the Virginia Reel.
Often, after that the dancing crowd gets a lot thinner. One of the first weddings I
called, I think I got trough three dances. After that, waltzes and tunes. I thought, “I
barely did anything…” Then I got the thank you notes: Comments about how great the dance
created what the bride and groom wanted. I started realizing at weddings we’re offering a
service of helping people connect with each other, and that can be successful with two or
three dances. If people use the rest of the time to talk with each other, the job can be
done.
That’s not to say I’ve called a lot of weddings when it’s clear a number of guests want
to keep dancing, and might even get to one hands-four dance as Haste to the Wedding or
Jefferson & Liberty, but that’s a judgement call. It’s just that many times two or
three dances brings people together in ways other dance forms often fail to do.
~Erik Hoffman
Oakland, CA
From: Tony Parkes via Contra Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 7:31 AM
To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
It looks as if we’re all agreed that *really* easy dances are the way to go at weddings
(and similar events where no one is there to learn), but disagree on what constitutes
“really easy.”
The sequence that John Rogers describes is similar to the Scatter Sanita that I use at
nearly every one-nighter, including weddings. But I think the loss of original partner
would feel to most wedding guests like “one thing too many” – and a much bigger “thing”
than any of the moves such as dosido or swing.
At all my one-nighters – heck, at all my events, including contra-series dances – I use a
combination of (1) my best pre-event guess of what’s needed, based on my experience with
similar events, and (2) reading the room when I get there. Although I absolutely love
mixers (and always call one at series dances, though I know a few contra dancers say they
dislike them), my sense is that wedding guests feel shaky enough about joining in the
dancing and that losing their partner and having to search for a new one would add a major
dose of shakiness with nothing positive to compensate. If I use any mixer at all, it will
likely be Heel and Toe (aka Pattycake Polka), where the next partner is right there and
they don’t have to decide on one – and although I use it fairly often at one-nighters, I’m
much less likely to use it at weddings.
Time allowed for dancing: I’ve found that at the vast majority of my one-nighters,
including weddings, I end up doing either 2 or 3 sets of 30-40 minutes each, usually 2.
(The first one is often a bit longer than the others, as it takes a while to get everyone
quiet and listening.) So I tell the couple (or whoever is my contact) in advance that
that’s what I envision, but that it’s subject to modifying as things unfold. My average is
probably about 6 dance numbers total, but a few times I’ve done only the initial big
circle and a Virginia Reel; once I did only the big circle. It’s important to remember
that the organizers and guests have no preconceived idea of what constitutes a dance
event; they’re not expecting 12 aerobic dances and a waltz. You may feel you haven’t
earned your keep, but the clients are more than satisfied. (I always make it clear that
I’m willing to call as long as there are a few couples who want to dance; almost never do
I get taken up on the offer.)
Every caller will have a slightly different way of turning vision into reality (and
that’s as it should be with a folk art), but hopefully always with a view to what will
give the greatest number of people a taste of the joy that we know is there in the dance.
Tony Parkes
Billerica, Mass.
www.hands4.com http://www.hands4.com/
New book! Square Dance Calling: An Old Art for a New Century
(available now)
From: Adam Carlson via Contra Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Tuesday, July 4, 2023 2:24 AM
To: Shared Weight Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Subject: [Callers] Re: calling weddings
Heck, even that sounds too complex. Forming circles of 4, finding another group, that
took too long, what am I doing now, which one's my partner again, and which is my
opposite? Nah, Stick with longways lines, circles and couple mixers until and unless
people seem like they're actually into it and want something more complicated.
On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 10:26 PM John Rogers via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
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I’ll add two points of my own. I was once hired to call dances at a wedding and I didn’t
find out until the bride and groom emerged from the chapel that the whole dance idea was
orchestrated by others as a surprise for the bride and groom. Since them I have had a
strict policy that no matters who hires me, I WILL discuss the program directly with the
bride.
The other thing I have learned about “one night stands” is to always try to imagine the
mindset of one of the participants as they enter the room. Are they looking forward to a
dance program, or are they there for other reasons. (Weddings fall heavily in the “for
other reasons” category.) Unless it is the wedding of two contradancers and everybody
there is a dancer, keep in mind that participants did not come to the event thinking they
were going to learn anything that day.
My last point (which follows from the above) is that there is no dance that is too simple
to call at a wedding. It is very easy to call a dance that is too hard, but impossible to
call one that is too simple. To give an example, this simple scatter mixer works
extremely well at weddings: Circle left, circle right. Men DSD, Ladies DSD. Partner DSD,
Opposites L elbow swing, Scoop up opposite and promenade to find a different opposite
couple. (This is plenty complex enough to be entertaining at a wedding!)
Good luck!
Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Jul 3, 2023, at 4:07 PM, Roberta Kogut via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
>
>
>
>
> I agree with a lot of what was said. I'll just add a couple of things.
>
> I always talk to the wedding couple, or mother or whoever is hiring me and make sure
I know their expectations and they know mine. If they are serious contra dancers, I
always make sure they understand that a dance like what they are used to is not probably
going to happen. I also ask that they pass on to wedding guests that it is the couples
wish that their guests will dance together and wear or bring appropriate shoes. I always
start off with something like La Bastringue. Keep it easy and fun. Don't go too long
on any dance, but long enough that they really get it and are having fun. I love doing
mixers because they keep the guests mingling together. I think that really pleases the B
& G.
>
> I usually see a lot of people turned on to contra, so I do tell people that if they
have had a lot of fun they should "google" 'contra dancing near me' when
they get home, stressing that a regular contra dance can be found all over the country. I
try to stay as invisible as I can so it's really about the wedding couple and their
family and friends.
>
> Spread the love!
>
> Roberta Kogut
>
>
> Get TypeApp for Android http://www.typeapp.com/r
>
> On Jul 3, 2023, at 5:44 PM, Lorraine Sutton via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
>
> >
> > Hi
> >
> >
> >
> > I have done a lot of weddings....
> >
> >
> >
> > Keep it very, very simple...yes... Barn dance, family dance, community dance
dances,.
> >
> >
> >
> > Never any contras ...too much work ...it all needs to be fun.
> >
> >
> >
> > Have the Bride and Groom done any trad dancing before this event? If not, do
impress on them that it is pretty essential that they dance the full first set otherwise
their guests will not feel required to do so.
> >
> >
> >
> > Two hand turn not a swing ...too hard to teach ( especially if they have been
drinking)
> >
> >
> >
> > Let the B & G know that they should let their guests know that there will
be traditional dancing and their participation is expected. Have them ask the women to
bring shoes for dancing ...flats , lace up s, NO FLIP FLOPS or stiletto hells.
> >
> >
> >
> > Alcohol ...well ...Impress at some point that Booze does not help you dance
.....
> >
> >
> >
> > Space....the standard " floor" in a wedding tent is never big enough,
so ask for a min of 40 square feet.
> >
> >
> >
> > Charge what is a decent fee (and if you have to drive more than 1.5 hours each
way charge a gas fee)
> >
> > or you will not be valued...Last Time I checked a DJ was charging about $1,000
a night. Do you have a relaxed band (only need 2 fiddle and keyboard) and if so can they
bring the sound system?
> >
> >
> >
> > Lots of mixers....long way sets ...1 active couple ( ie Virginia Reel, Bridge
of Athlone etc)
> >
> >
> >
> > Easy Sicilian Circles...to have them practice right and left elbow, do-si-do
etc
> >
> >
> >
> > Will there be small children ...another issue.
> >
> >
> >
> > Timing ...Every wedding I have ever done is late ...speeches run over time,
catering gets delayed.etc. etc. etc. You may be invited to take part in the dinner,
however that usually means another extra 2-3 hours before the dance... Once after waiting
more than an extra hour I let the MC know that ( given we had been paid , and we each had
a 2 hour drive home) that we would be leaving in 15 minutes if he did not get speeches
wrapped up. Harsh but real.
> >
> >
> >
> > Good Luck....
> >
> >
> >
> > Lorraine Sutton Ontario, Canada
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > On Mon, Jul 3, 2023 at 4:30 PM Jerome Grisanti via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > I would release any idea that wedding guests will have any interest in
dancing beyond this event. Keep things VERY simple. You can do an hour with dances
containing only allemandes, do-si-dos, circles and promenades. Maybe a modified
swing/2-hand turn.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > On Mon, Jul 3, 2023, 3:53 PM Joe Harrington via Contra Callers
<contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net mailto:contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net>
wrote:
> > >
> > > >
> > > > Any advice for calling weddings? I've been asked to call my first
one and I don't see a lot of wedding-specific advice online. What do you ask them in
advance, how do you approach it, what are good dances to call?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I'm assuming that a workshop is impractical, so it's barn
dances and maybe working up to a contra by the end? Try to teach a swing? Some advice
I've gotten so far:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Band - can they play contras, am I DJing instead, if so what kind of
music, trad or pop?
> > > >
> > > > Floor - make sure it's big enough, get length, width, and
surface
> > > >
> > > > Sound system - what is it and is there a sound tech?
> > > >
> > > > Duration - how long they'll want to dance
> > > >
> > > > Dancers - how many, any experienced guests?
> > > >
> > > > Special dances - first, parents, bouquet, last?
> > > >
> > > > Will the bride and groom dance? (If not, nobody will)
> > > >
> > > > Will there be alcohol? (one person suggested doubling the fee if
there is)
> > > >
> > > > Will many women be in high heels?
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I welcome any advice! My main goal in taking wedding gigs is
recruiting new dancers to our local scene, if that matters.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Thanks,
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --jh--
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > _______________________________________________
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> > > >
> > >
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> > >
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------
> >
> >
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