Re: [Callers] Fwd: Contra dance guests and booking ahead

I agree with everything everyone else has written, especially about introducing new dancers to your experienced friends. It's all about networking, and I have networked with new women I've just met in an effort to make them feel welcome at the dance. I give them hints such as,"Try and dance with different partners, and if someone asks you for a second dance and you aren't comfortable with that, it's perfectly OK to say, "I'm sorry; I've already danced with you this evening. I'd like to meet other people as well.'" Or if you feel uneasy about a potential partner, just say,"No thank you," or "I'm sorry," smile, and walk away. Don't take it personally if you ask someone to dance and he refuses; there's a lot going on in an evening and we can't know everything. I mention the above boundary-buiding skills because at our large urban Boston dances, we have men whom I call Venus Flytraps. These are the men who do not have good social behaviors, aren't great dancers and who lie in wait for new, unsuspecting females to enter the hall. I know the gentleman to whom the original writer referred, and I myself had to perform a social inetervention around him this past Monday when I was calling at the Concord Scout House. I noticed he had zeroed in on a new woman, had danced with her twice in the first half, had done the waltz with her and was now cornering her in conversation, under the guise of showing her the fine points of dance moves (and he's a terrible dancer!). Alarm bells went off. All the regulars know about this dancer and have seen him drive women away from the dances (and the regulars do not like to dance with him or near him).So I went up to two strong women in the community, explained that an intervention was needed, and watched as they gently interrupted the conversation and scooped the newcomer up into a gaggle of women (her response, "Wow, people are friendly here!"). Then I ran around and lined up a few partners for her for the second half. I contend that any well-known dancer in our community could have done the same thing, and others have in the past. It was not just because I was the caller that I could rally the troops in such a fashion. It's true that a lot of people complain about this man, but I contend that everyone has a purpose, and his is to build community, no matter how inadvertently (he's not dangerous, just distasteful). Various organizers have talked with him about his dancing and about his lying in wait at the front entrance. He just doesn't get it, so we have to get it and pass it on. -- Lisa