21 Jan
2013
21 Jan
'13
12:33 p.m.
As I have heard others say, everyone has the freedom to decline a dance with anybody they
want, and no explanation is necessary, other than a polite "no thank you".
Perry
________________________________
From: Maia McCormick <maia.mcc(a)gmail.com>
To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net>
Sent: Monday, January 21, 2013 12:05 PM
Subject: Re: [Callers] Booking Ahead - (was ideas for callers about sidelines)
An especially frustrating manifestation of booking ahead, in my mind, is
the mid-dance book-ahead with someone you're not already sure is interested
in dancing with you. I feel like it deserves a special mention just because
I personally find it very difficult and flustering to have to decline
someone or formulate any coherent response in the middle of a swing, say,
and so I usually just agree, and sometimes end up dancing with people that
I would rather not be dancing with.
Which brings me to another point I've been wondering about: exactly how
much freedom does a dancer have to decline dance offers (assuming
non-booking-ahead)? Part of me feels that a pillar of contra is the
knowledge that you don't get turned down, and that anyone can dance with
anyone. But I feel very strongly that no one should have to dance with
someone who makes them uncomfortable. However, there's some sort of
confusing grey area in between. There are people I'd rather not dance with
because they make me acutely uncomfortable... and there are those that make
me slightly uncomfortable... there are those I find flashy and annoying, or
those whose swinging styles really don't fit with mine... You get the idea.
Not to seem like I don't want to dance with anyone but my friends--this
isn't the case--but I've always wondered just how much license the dancer
gets to choose their own partners, rather than accepting the first offer
that comes up. What are people's thoughts?
Maia
On Mon, Jan 21, 2013 at 3:42 PM, Ron T Blechner <contraron(a)gmail.com> wrote:
Greg,
For the dances where this is true, that's great. I have attended dances
where that's the value of the community, and I love dance organizations and
communities who foster that.
I've also been to a lot of dances where a specific culture of "we're here
to dance with a lot of people" is not the default case. That is, in fact,
the reason I brought up the "booking ahead" problem in the first place; I
recognize that there are exceptions, and you've pointed some out, but by
and large:
** Booking ahead is done because people want to dance with a small subset
of dancers who are their friends / the "cool, hip dancers" / etc. **
So I don't, as a caller, make the assumption that you present. Instead, I
believe that unless a dance specifically fosters a new-dancer-friendly,
inclusive environment, and goes out of its way to post signs / e-mails /
promote discussion with callers / etc, dancers will generally see a narrow
view of what's going on at the dance. It's up to organizers and callers, I
believe, to specifically shape the dance to a friendly environment ...
... if that's the dance's goal.
in dance,
Ron
On Sat, Jan 19, 2013 at 1:10 PM, Greg McKenzie <grekenzie(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
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My approach is to assume the best of the dancers and allow them to take
the
initiative and rise to the occasion. I assume
that all dancers at an
open,
public contra dance are attracted to that
venue--at least in part--by the
prospect of dancing with lots of folks new to them personally and new to
dancing contras. As a caller it is my responsibility to make that
process
both easy and fun for them.
My experience is that this assumption always pays off. I am not saying
it
works perfectly every time.
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