16 Dec
2017
16 Dec
'17
3:56 p.m.
I employ and teach the method that Angela suggests... but not always. I am
old school enough that I may sit a dance after a refusal of an offer...but
then I rarely refuse an offer to dance unless I really do need a rest or I
have some other obligation. I think George Marshall's presentation in the
video of his beginner's class is worth considering. This issue is addressed
a little after the 11 minute mark:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nxFdcaKWA
Bob Green
St. Louis
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On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 2:24 PM, Angela DeCarlis via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I think the story you tell is a great reason why the
older etiquette of
having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't
want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their
business.
As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are
both
perfectly acceptable answers if someone asks you to dance. I also point out
that if someone declines your offer to dance, too never take it personally.
To clarify, however, being rude is still totally unacceptable! My mom was
turned down for a dance recently with the line, "no, sorry; I'm *very*
particular with who I dance with!" Nope! Don't be that guy!
On Dec 16, 2017 3:11 PM, "Alexandra Deis-Lauby via Callers" <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses
saying no but not in great
detail in terms of historical practice.
http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/
Sent from my iPhone
On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi all,
Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the
rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very
competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late
80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he
doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance
with this guy then I have to sit one out. Oh crap, guess I'll have to
dance with him." For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful
dancer.
To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been
replaced, and what has it been replaced with? In your dance community, do
you have a written statement of the etiquette around this? Our community's
statement doesn't directly address this issue.
Kalia
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