31 Jan
2011
31 Jan
'11
10:26 p.m.
I don't find many people who have been at contra dances for a while to be
high-schoolers. Quite the contrary, which is why I love contra dancing so
much. I'm certainly not framing THEM as behaving badly. But I do see it in
newer dancers, and I see it in the newly skilled, what we affectionately
call "hot-doggers", the dancers who, after experiencinga few dance weekends,
will only dance with the most skilled dancers, who twirl and twist every
partner along the way ("See what I can do?") and who book ahead and
who...well, you get the idea. We don't, at the moment, have more than a
couple - and they're getting better all the time.
And as for grownups - I'll have to use another word I suppose. Because my
"grownup" is not authoritarian - my "grownup" takes responsibility,
just
like your "caller" does. I use the word "grownup" to mean a person who
has
become mature, less self-centered, and who can be counted upon to do the
things necessary to build a better world for all of us - not just himself or
herself.
So, Greg, since you are clearly a Good Guy, what was the meaning of your
original post, where you suggested the caller warn people that there was a
medley coming up so they could be sure they wouldn't have to dance the
medley with someone who wasn't skilled? That's what I'm reacting to - it
just sounded so...like a hotdogger. Which you otherwise don't seem to be.
M
E
On Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 2:08 PM, Greg McKenzie <grekenzie(a)gmail.com> wrote:
Martha wrote:
--
For the good are always the merry,
Save by an evil chance,
And the merry love the fiddle
And the merry love to dance. ~ William Butler Yeats
Greg - I think you misunderstood me a little bit.
My view that, left to
our
own devices, we act like high schoolers, is based on observation --
anecdotal observation, to be sure, but what I have seen has been so
consistent, that I, at least, am convinced.
I understand that you are convinced. This is the nature of framing. Once
we adopt a frame we see the world in terms of that framing. The more we
"activate" a frame, the easier it is to evoke it. I am not directing this
critique at you, personally. This framing is very common among callers.
You merely expressed it very clearly and succinctly. I am questioning the
prevailing frame for contra dance.
I want to assure you that I do not observe the world as you do through the
"high schooler" frame. Employing a different frame I see that almost all
contra dancers are enthusiastic about and enjoy dancing with newcomers. In
fact, it is one of the most enjoyable parts of contra dance.
How is this possible? Seen through my frame any uncivil behavior in the
hall is direct evidence of poor calling. If there is anyone in the hall
behaving poorly the proper response from the caller is to be apologetic.
Martha also wrote:
This view does not in any way absolve anyone of
responsibility. In fact,
my
whole argument is that "the grownups" need to take charge and make sure
that
the kindness/inclusiveness attitudes are predominant. Yes, we are all
capable of such behavior, and yes, in fact, it is our ability to behave
that
way that led to the survival of our species. But our survival was also
dependent on keeping away from "others" who were not in the family, tribe
or
village. It is that inherited sense of "us" and "they" that leads to
exclusiveness and shunning. And war and pestilence.
My argument was that absolving the caller of responsibility was the only
possible advantage I can see of this framing. By treating the dancers as
high-schoolers we give up a host of strategies that could be used to gain
their support and participation in building a sense of community. When a
caller activates "the grownup" framing this projects an authoritarian
position and puts the caller at odds with the interests of the dancers.
This is not an advantage. The framing creates an adversarial relationship
with the dancers.
Martha also wrote:
What I said was, the group leadership needs to
address these issues. The
caller is part of the leadership, so we have the right and the
responsibility (at least in our own towns) to speak up in meetings, at
after-dance get-togethers, online, etc. But when we're actually calling, I
agree that we should limit our etiquette remarks to small, cheerful
reminders, no harangues or lectures from the stage.
Nor off-stage. The frame that sees people as inherently uncivil creates a
sense that the seat of the problem is with undisciplined or uneducated
dancers. My frame sees the seat of the problem as poor calling.
Martha then asked:
What about this point of view "excuses" the caller from taking
responsibility? What about this point of view
suggests that the caller
"blame" the behavior on the dancers and leave it at that? I'm just saying
that trying to change a culture by fiat is rarely sucessful, and a caller
who wants to change things should start, first, on the dance floor by
being
the sort of person he/she wants others to emulate, second, off the dance
floor by passing on the larger "contradance culture", and lastly, from the
stage only in small bites, respectfully, and with good humor.
Doing anything by fiat would be a destructive action by the caller, because
it undermines the relationship of trust and goodwill with the dancers. The
nature of the "contradance culture" is what we are discussing. That culture
is currently dominated by the frame you have put forth so eloquently. If
you wish to change that culture I can attest that you will have much more
influence as a caller than as a dancer.
Martha also wrote:
What I also said was that, in a contra group, we
callers should lead by
"gentle precept" (words) and "strong example" (doing). Fewer words,
more
doing. Here,one of our best dancers spends nearly 80% of her time with the
least experienced dancers, bless her angelic heart. Now THAT is a strong
example.
"Fewer words, more doing" is an excellent prescription. If the caller
assumes the support and civility of all of the dancers they can eliminate
many words intended to "correct" what the "high schooler" frame
implies that
the dancers will be inclined to do. Assume the best and take responsibility
for the rest. That is a recipe for few words.
Please consider that your 80% "angelic heart" dancer may be doing what she
most enjoys. She may be one of your most selfish dancers. Why not direct
your programming and calling efforts towards making sure that regulars, who
are partnered with newcomers, have a great time. Make sure that they have
an opportunity to use their skills and knowledge to share something they are
passionate about with a confident stranger who is ready to learn. You may
find that there are many more "angelic hearts" than you had assumed by
looking through the "high-schooler" frame.
- Greg
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