9 Jul
2011
9 Jul
'11
5:27 p.m.
I'll bet this discussion is going to continue for a bit, so let's clarify:
I've ALWAYS made people stop what they are doing -- made them leave more
room, move a hand -- I've just always done it non-verbally. If I don't want
to be dipped, I don't get dipped -- I can shift my weight or go inert in
ways that make it impossible. I'm not shy about taking care of myself, and
that cold/silent treatment is pretty darn harsh/unmistakable (just ask my
husband :)
But on reflection, it's always been a private interchange. By "calling
out",
I mean it in the most specific way: calling them out from the crowd, into
the spotlight, to be addressed in front of an audience. I've very rarely
seen this happen, and have never heard of a woman walking off the floor
mid-dance.
On Sat, Jul 9, 2011 at 1:15 PM, Bree Kalb <bree(a)mindspring.com> wrote:
Amy wrote: But have I truly called
them out on it? No. And neither have any of my peers.
I have.
Now that I'm older, it doesn't happen as often, but still does
occasionally.
I've put my left palm against a man's shoulder and pushed him back, saying:
"I don't want to dance that close.' Or: "I don't sleaze
dance." The next
time they've asked me to dance, I've said "I'll only dance with you
again
if you don't (do that particular thing again.)" They've always agreed and
behaved themselves, for that dance. When I come to them in the line, I
automatically push them back a little. But I know I'm an exception; the
younger, shyer women don't feel comfortable setting limits. Even someone
like Amy (who I surmise is not particularly shy) is uneasy being so bold. So
it's important that the organizers pay attention and act. Our board actually
banned a guy from dancing because he was preying on teenage girls; other
dance organizers in the area followed suit.
Bree Kalb
Carrboro
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