19 Jan
2013
19 Jan
'13
6:10 p.m.
Ron wrote:
Greg: That's an interesting argument, regarding
saving the dancer from an
"icky" partner. I would retort, however, that is just a band-aid for a
larger problem that the dance community should be addressing. I think
introducing the concept of booking ahead to new dancers is a *bad* idea,
because it gives them the impression early on that it's okay. I'd rather
solve the challenge of on-boarding new people through encouraging
experienced dancers to look for them, rather than falling back on booking
them in advance. I've also noticed new people often sit out a lot, because
they're shy/tired/unsure of protocol. There's often lots of opportunities
to sit out, walk up to the person while they're sitting out, then invite
them to dance the next one. (I think there's an implicit difference between
booking the next dance with someone already dancing versus someone sitting
out.)
I agree that booking ahead is not appropriate for a newcomer's
orientation. But there are times when booking ahead can be a helpful
strategy. When there is a shortage of gents at a dance I often find my own
choices very limited as I am quickly asked to dance by women before I can
make any other choices. I have, on occasion, told women that "Sorry, I'd
like to save this dance for [a first-timer/someone who is sitting out].
Let's try to dance later."
Sometimes when I am in this situation, where I have been too-quickly
partnered, I have excused myself for a moment, walked to the sidelines, and
asked a woman to dance the NEXT dance.
I do not favor putting any pressure on the dancers to address a "problem"
on the dance floor by altering their partnering behavior. I feel this is
too heavy-handed and implicitly blames the dancers. As a caller I feel
strongly that I should take responsibility for all of these uncomfortable
situations and allow the dancers to enjoy themselves.
My approach is to assume the best of the dancers and allow them to take the
initiative and rise to the occasion. I assume that all dancers at an open,
public contra dance are attracted to that venue--at least in part--by the
prospect of dancing with lots of folks new to them personally and new to
dancing contras. As a caller it is my responsibility to make that process
both easy and fun for them.
My experience is that this assumption always pays off. I am not saying it
works perfectly every time. I am saying that giving the dancers the
benefit of the doubt pays off in both the long, and the short term. The
dancers do pick up on the caller's opinion of them. There is no way a
caller can conceal their opinion of the dancers for long. Everything the
caller says and does--or does *not *say or does *not *do--will telegraph
their personal framing of the dancers.
If I, as a caller, chide the dancers to ask newcomers to dance, or chide
them to dance with sidelined dancers, I am implicitly demonstrating that I
do not have confidence in them to do what is needed to make the dance event
a great success. I am telegraphing my "selfish dancer" frame. If, on the
other hand, I assume their complete support in my efforts to create an
exceptional event populated by wonderful people I will be telegraphing a
different frame.
The truth, however, is that none of us is perfect. All of us are
"works-in-progress" and we will make mistakes. That is why it is so
important for the caller to be able to apologize. I apologize at least
once or twice at every event I call...usually more. This is how we, as
callers, can show our own humanity and give more credit to the dancers.
When we show the dancers our confidence in them it pays off. This is
leadership.
So I don't condemn any dancer for booking ahead. I make the basic
assumption that they are competent and knowledgeable enough to make the
partnering decisions that will be best for the community as a whole. In
most cases this is correct. The dancers know--far better than I--what the
history of specific individuals is and even, perhaps, who *should *be
sidelined. I assume that all of us are working to create a "wonderful
dance community" and do my part to make that process easy and fun. If that
doesn't work out, and something goes wrong, then I apologize.
- Greg McKenzie