We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared one night ranting
about the police and tasers. He was drooling and showing delusional behavior, and was
still dancing. Most dancers didn't think much of it, but some were very upset.
He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came to our sweet
little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk and greeting the children,
I started feeling the need for a plan. I talked with the local mental health facility and
spoke to other organizers, but you know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I
had about a half hour conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting,
and something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every time he came to a
dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and vice versa. I found out that he had
been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was living with him. His dad recently passed
away while he was away at a dance weekend. He explained that his father's death and
his guilt for being gone had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped
him to make friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really sweet
person. I used to dread his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is still
coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are better adjusted now and he
blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, for the most part.
I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not first try
going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship.
Good luck,
Jill Allen