4 Apr
2013
4 Apr
'13
6:03 p.m.
I would like to second Dave's comment. I dance with and talk with a lot of
newcomers and, especially, young people, I've been told that some of the
flirting they've encountered is considered by some as down-right creepy.
Many newcomers also feel overwhelmed by the excess twirling and hardcore
swinging. Admittedly other newcomers are fine with it. If you are a
regular at a dance, you can identify a newcomer in seconds. Yu can also
figure out in seconds who is up for a flirt and who is not. I don't know
why it so hard for some people to help other dancers rather than overwhelm
them. I flirt early and often. I clown more than most. With the right
person I enjoy a vigorous swing (though with the wrong person they hurt my
back). And when I was younger I sometimes got carried away. But Dang! We
need to remember that contra is a social dance, not an exhibition. Thanks,
George
On Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 12:16 PM, Dave Casserly
<david.j.casserly(a)gmail.com>wrote;wrote:
Some people are also uncomfortable flirting with
people of the opposite
gender, as well. Or people who are older or younger, or who knows what. I
don't think choosing dances based on assumptions about who's comfortable
flirting with whom makes any sense. Instead, as callers (and, perhaps more
importantly as organizers), it's important to foster a community where
everybody understands that it's important to respect others' boundaries.
Flirty dances are those where there is an option, not an obligation, to
flirt.
I don't think people newcomers who are uncomfortable with flirting (or with
flirting with somebody of the same gender or whatever) are really bothered
by, say, having to touch somebody by the hand for 5 seconds during an
allemande. If something's making them uncomfortable, it's how the other
person doing that allemande chooses to behave that does so, not the dance's
choreography.
-Dave
On Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 12:10 PM, Janet Bertog <janet(a)bertog.com> wrote:
Some people are uncomfortable being forced to
flirt with a person of the
same sex. Some people are not uncomfortable. Those people who are not
uncomfortable are free to dance with same sex partners if they choose,
but
it is their choice. Forcing people into a
situation where they are
uncomfortable makes them stressed and unhappy, which can translate to the
people around them and increase the overall general stress of the room.
If
you are in a gender-free dance then the
assumption is that you will be
dancing with whoever, but most dances are not gender free.
Janet
-----Original Message-----
From: callers-bounces(a)sharedweight.net
[mailto:callers-bounces@sharedweight.net] On Behalf Of Aahz Maruch
Sent: Wednesday, April 03, 2013 11:43 AM
To: Caller's discussion list
Subject: Re: [Callers] Suggestions for particularly flirty contra dances?
On Wed, Apr 03, 2013, Janet Bertog wrote:
--
David Casserly
(cell) 781 258-2761
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In my experience these dances increase the stress level, I would
recommend against calling them.
Could you expand on that?
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