[Callers] Silly (and deliberately ambiguous) dances

Hello all, A comment someone made at a recent dance festival about not liking the current bird language in contra dancing got me thinking about the "Birds Aren't Real" movement, a fake conspiracy theory <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birds_Aren%27t_Real>, with a founder who wants to address the desire for belonging <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VEkzweBJPM> (that I think relates to why we contra dance). Anyway, I decided I should write a dance called "Birds Aren't Real"; and that there should be deliberate ambiguity in the dance. Similar to Schrödinger crossword puzzles <https://blog.brightsprout.com/examples-schrodinger-puzzles/> with multiple solutions <https://www.xwordinfo.com/Quantum>. I'm not saying this is a good dance, or that it should even be danced, I'm saying it was a puzzle that I had fun with while processing, and wanted to share: Birds Aren’t Real by Luke Donforth Contra/Improper A1 ----------- (8) Circle 3/4 (8) Back to Back on the side 1x A2 ----------- (16) Partner balance and swing B1 ----------- (4) Balance the Ring (4) Roll neighbor away across the set (8) Catch and swing partner on the other side of the set B2 ----------- (8) Other Way Circle 3/4 (4) Balance the Ring (4) California Twirl with Partner A circle right in A1 sets up a see-saw, then a balance and swing with your partner in the A2, whereas a circle left in A1 would probably work better with a do-si-do before the balance and swing; hence the back-to-back language. It's a double partner swing, reflecting the unfortunate echo chamber of conspiracy theories. Because the swings are only with your partner, who ends on the left and right doesn't have much impact on the dance, and bird language is optional. But then I wanted a partner and a neighbor swing, and (building on the birbs meme <https://www.audubon.org/news/when-bird-birb-extremely-important-guide>) this fell out: Birbs Aren’t Real by Luke Donforth Contra/Improper A1 ----------- (8) Circle 3/4 (8) Back to Back on the side 1x A2 ----------- (16) Partner balance and swing B1 ----------- (4) Balance the Ring (12) Neighbor swing (middle of the set) B2 ----------- (8) Other Way Circle 3/4 (4) Balance the Ring (4) Turn alone to face new neighbors Again, not one I anticipate calling, but there it is. As Asher Elbein says for Audubon: "*regardless of birb-status—all birds are good."* And much like Peter McIndoe has to break character at the end of his TED talk, I feel I should be explicit about where I stand: I first and foremost want safe and inclusive dance spaces. I prefer the language of Larks and Robins while acknowledging it is not flawless; and am willing to use other terms at the request of the community. Happy Dancing!