[Callers] Re: Fwd: Re: Re: calling weddings

I'm astonished I have anything to add to Katherine's (and Tony's) great advice, and I have no argument with anybody else's, but a couple of other things which apply to weddings where few of the guests are dancers already. This is my experience - I'm just a caller, don't do sound, don't have equipment, prefer live music. Karen Dunnam's experience (full sound, can DJ, does popular wedding dances as well as squares/barn dances, etc) is really different and we'd likely give different advice; I'm not invalidating hers, just saying what I've learned in occasionally calling weddings over the quarter-century. - Gene Murrow pointed out that you have a very short window at the beginning where you can tell them how it works - that you'll tell them what to do and they'll do it, and that you'll keep telling them, so they have to be quiet for a minute so they can hear you. (Most dance experience people have these days is freeform and a caller isn't a well-known concept.) - If you get people up for three dances you're doing well. Non-dancers get winded easily. (Now, sometimes you get a small hard core of people who are really into it; the majority of people have sat back down but maybe you've still got six who are raring to go. Do something with them, and then maybe you can get them to go find partners who are currently sitting down and do a bigger last thing. And maybe not.) - They won't remember anything from dance to dance. People who wouldn't get up for the first one are emboldened and do the next one; people who did the first one are tired and sit down, etc. Don't expect an arc of complexity or to build to anything. They aren't there to *learn* anything. Each dance must be fully rewarding in itself (but also, just being up and moving with other people at a celebration in a group thing is enough, and choreography can get in the way of that. People already know or think they know how to do circles, stars, and dosidos (although you might see arms crossed in front in dosidos). A very simple grand march (which is just follow the leader) can be really good. - In choosing what to do, consider who's there. Are there a lot of couples or a lot of singles? Non-dancing couples are often reluctant to break up, and mixers may not make them happy. SIngles may have trouble partnering up and you may be better forming up without partners and coutning off around a circle for a mixer (1s and 2s), or a thing like a spiral where you don't have partners are helpful. The dancers probably aren't gender-balanced; "ladies" and "gents" may be a problem. - Whatever the plan is be prepared to abandon it as soon as you see who got up for this one. So all of that is always true. I've called a couple of events that mixed DJ dancing with called dancing. If the DJ's a pro they'll be your best friend; see if you can connect with them in advance, give them your music to play over their system. They're there for the success of the event so they're perfectly happy to hype your dance and they're likely to be the sound people. Sometimes the dance floor for DJed dancing is ludicrously small for a country dance of any kind and you need to be somewhere else. (I had a hotel wedding where there was a 10x10 parquet floor laid down, surrounded by tables. I had to set up in the hallway - and the DJ told everyone to go out there when it was time. The moreyou can learn in advance about the setup, the better you can do. There's a really fine balance between encouraging the reluctant to join in and seeming to chivvy, bully, or pathetically begging them to participate. I *think* - and this is no my best thing - that you just have to project absolute confidence that this is fun and if they don't participate they're missing out, and ideally without having to say anything about it. It's very good if you can get the bride to ask people to get up and dance *for them*. There'll be some schedule arranged in advance, and something will likely go way off and eat into the time scheduled for the dancing (especially in a homegrown event that's self-catered). [Like the wedding in Palo Alto where the control-freak groom who'd planned the ceremony realized belatedly that he'd left the wedding cake at home in Oakland and couldn't be dissuaded from going back for it, not only pushing everything late by 90 minutes but also leaving noone behind empowered to make any decisions.). Up to you and your current circumstances whether you want to be a hardass - we're contracted to play 8:00-10:00, we're stopping at 10:00 whenever you let us start (and sometimes you really have to do this because the fiddler has a babysitter or an early morning) - or just go on as long as there's interest, but you yourself have to be totally cool with it whatever happens, not jangled or resentful. Very important: It's not *your* dance. It's *their* celebration. It's an extreme case, but if they *never* get to you, just take your check and go home happy. I think being cool with this possibility is really important in getting your head right. -- Alan ________________________________________ From: Katherine Kitching via Contra Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> Sent: Monday, July 3, 2023 2:02 PM To: Shared Weight Contra Callers Subject: [Callers] Fwd: Re: Re: calling weddings oops meant to send this to all :) Jul 3, 2023 6:00:06 PM Katherine Kitching <kat(a)outdooractive.ca>ca>: I agree with Lisa - focus on what will make this event the most enjoyable for the guests and bride and groom. I've done a number of weddings. The lesson I keep (re)learning is: "keep it simple, simpler, simpler" . Every time I think I've got a great program, and pretty much every time, the guests have struggled with my 3rd or 4th dance as it was too complex. and this is after I keep simplifying things each time :) If alcohol is involved, you definitely want to make the dances uber simple - and not plan anything that has to fit squarely to the music. Things tend to take twice as long if people have been drinking. Also I find the bride and groom invariably overestimate how much time their guests will want to spend doing this. So many times i've been booked for 90-120 minutes, and all those times i've only ended calling for 45-60 minutes and that has been the perfect amount for that crowd. For most of the guests, they will enjoy it as a novelty, not a full-evening event. In addition to that, the whole evening of dinner, speeches, etc nearly always runs late, so that can also cut into dancing time. Here are some programming notes: I always ask the couple if they would like a "first dance" (especially if there is a live band!) and if they would like it to be "a lively hoe-down tune" or a waltz. they usually like this idea. I invite everyone to gather in a circle around the bride and groom, and they start dancing while we move to the music in the circle .. after a minute or two, I encourage everyone to start dancing (either waltzing or just jumping around clapping and doing elbow turns if they couple chose the lively hoe-down). Next dance is the spiral dance. Always a big hit. I start in a circle, get everyone to listen to the music, clap to the music, we circle left, we circle right, we go in and back a couple times... then I just wind it up and unwind it -with the bride and groom right beside me so they end up in the centre during the wind-up. Third dance I do this very simple circle mixer: if drinking is involved, I pre-teach nothing. If minimal drinking, I pre-teach a right-hand balance and pull-by... Circle left Circle right Into the centre and stomp Into the centre raise arms and say "hey!" then they have 32 counts (or more, if drinking!) to wander around, and (if drinking) just nod and say hello to anyone they meet, or if not drinking, to find at least one person to do a right-hand balance and pull-by with, maybe 2 or 3 people if they are quick - then we reform the circle and start again. I would run this through maybe 6 or 7 times. After that, I often do a simple line dance- If not drinking, I make it a mixer - I designate one line as the robins and the other as the larks, If drinking/really easily confused, they just stick with their same partner the whole time, and I make it shorter. LLFB walk forward, pull by your partner by the right hand to switch places, turn to face partner again, double-clap. LLFB walk forward and pull your partner by the right hand again so you are back to your original spot (clap clap) Peel the banana: (I demo this first with a smaller group in the centre of a teaching circle, so everyone sees how it works) Top couple peels off down the outside, everyone follows - meet your partner at the bottom, take inside hands, and walk back up to the top (emphasize that you come back to your exact same position at the end of this figure) - then once you're back to your spot, do a two-hand turn. Mixer version- for more competent, focused crowd- Top Robin dances down the centre, to the bottom of the Robin line (emphasize they stay in their OWN line!!) while bottom Lark dances up the centre, to the top of the Lark line (you must emphasize they stay in their OWN line!) everyone re-adjust so they are facing a new partner, nod to the new partner - start the dance again (if multiple lines, get ppl to dance on the spot till all the lines are ready). Non Mixer version - get the top couple to sashay, or do a free-form silly dance, down to the bottom, everyone else slides up a spot, start the dance again. I do not even try to stay on a regular pattern with the music, for the above. ---- Then a final dance that can work is a "scatter dance" of a simple contra style.... set people up with a dance partner, and pre-teach any figures in a big teaching circle. Note I teach them "right hand turn" /"left hand turn" instead of "allemande" cause it's easier to remember... then get them to form "duples" with another couple for the dance... Could do something like: circle left circle right star left star right left hand turn your partner right hand turn your neighbour (the person standing closest to you who is not your partner) balance the ring two times everyone bow to each other wave bye bye skip around the room with your partner, find another duple, restart the dance (I will be off the music at this point, and won't care). if by chance they wanted a second scatter dance, and they seem to be doing well with learning new figures, you could do something like: circle left star left balance and petro balance and petro (note in this scatter orientation it doesn't matter where the petro takes you) do si do your partner do si do your neighbour as couples do si do and scatter to find new duples.... (with credit to Sherry Nevin!) Kat in Halifax Jul 3, 2023 5:04:59 PM Lisa Sieverts via Contra Callers <contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net>et>: _______________________________________________ Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers(a)lists.sharedweight.net To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave(a)lists.sharedweight.net