And about switching to another dance when there is trouble with one:
Sometimes, this is necessary. Sometimes, you have misjudged the difficulty level of the dance for the dancers, or the dance doesn’t work as written down (oops). Hopefully you notice that before teaching or during, but things happen. However, one thing I have seen and felt as a dancer is that if a dance just needs one more walkthrough to orient people in the move that is messing them up, and then the dancers can do it (even if it starts rocky), they are so happy at the end that they met the challenge and did it. So if I feel that I can salvage the dance, I don’t toss it for an easier one, because the reward for the dancers is high.
Martha
> On Nov 6, 2017, at 9:27 AM, Rich Sbardella via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
> I have learned that owning my mistakes publicly is an important part of moving forward. Sometimes I use humor to soften the blow. Another very important thing I have learned is to make the next dance a great dance. Something fun, with guaranteed success. Our mistakes bother us more that they bother most dancers.
>
> My belief is that we are hired to help the dancers have a good time. One or two little mistakes will not destroy our efforts, and even a major mistake need not be taken out of the context of an overall successful evening. (BTW, these are truths that I am still learning)
>
> Rich Sbardella
> Stafford, CT
>
>
> On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 11:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <callers(a)listssharedweight.net <mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote:
> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <mailto:Callers@lists.sharedweight.net>
> Archives: https://www.mail-archivecom/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/ <https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
This is what is important - it is why we go to dances.
"the dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust and goodwill at the end of the evening”
And I think it is fun as a dancer to occasionally have to cope with messed-up dancing due to dancers, callers, or bands mistakes or miscues.
> On Nov 6, 2017, at 11:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
> _______________________________________________
Oh, yeah, that obsessing over the two things that went wrong. It will get better. A few things to take notice of: you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Even if you call an evening with no obvious errors, someone will come up and say they didn’t like a particular dance because it had a men’s swing (or some other figure). And someone else will come up and say they particularly liked that dance because it had a men’s swing (or that other figure) (I’ve had this happen). One person will come up and say they love it when things get chaotic (I’ve had this happen). When I’ve played piano, after a night when a few particularly egregious chords crept into my playing and I felt like it was the worst night I’d played in a long time, one dancer came up and gushed how we sounded fantastic that night. Oh well. So after a while you realize that if everyone is going home reasonably happy, that’s the best you can hope for. Just like life, we aren’t perfect. And then try saying this to yourself “First World Problem!”
Martha
> On Nov 6, 2017, at 9:21 AM, Charles via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
> Great topic, Maia -
>
> I'm reminded of what a college environmental science professor once said: "The solution to pollution is dilution." In terms of your question, I find one solution is to call more gigs; that way, there is less time to brood over mistakes, and the errors become less noticeable!
>
> That in addition to all of the other tips that others have already provided might provide some comfort...😊
>
> From: Callers <callers-bounces(a)lists.sharedweight.net <mailto:callers-bounces@lists.sharedweight.net>> on behalf of Maia McCormick via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net>>
> Sent: Monday, November 6, 2017 4:10 PM
> To: callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net>
> Subject: [Callers] Moving past self-flagellation
>
> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <mailto:Callers@lists.sharedweight.net>
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/ <https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/>
Thanks for sharing!
I wonder about getting a bulk order of red hair-scrunchies that could be
used as loose bracelets.
On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 7:19 PM, Rich Sbardella via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> I had a Girl Scout Dance coming up Sunday and I was thinking how I would
> get 150 six to nine year old girls to know which hand was right and which
> hand is left. On the way to my contra calling gig on Saturday, the thought
> arose that right hand sounds very close to red hand. On the way to the
> Scout Dance, I stopped and purchased scissors and some red ribbon (the
> store did not carry yarn) and asked that the leaders tie a red ribbon
> bracelet around each scout as they entered the hall. When I called dances
> with arm turns I called, "Turn your partner with your red hand, change
> hands, other way back." It worked so well that I know I will do it again.
>
> I thought I would share this trick, and then ask if anyone has useful
> methods when working with only children. Please share some trade secrets.
>
> Rich Sbardella
> Stafford, CT
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
>
>
--
Luke Donforth
Luke.Donforth(a)gmail.com <Luke.Donev(a)gmail.com>
I had a Girl Scout Dance coming up Sunday and I was thinking how I would
get 150 six to nine year old girls to know which hand was right and which
hand is left. On the way to my contra calling gig on Saturday, the thought
arose that right hand sounds very close to red hand. On the way to the
Scout Dance, I stopped and purchased scissors and some red ribbon (the
store did not carry yarn) and asked that the leaders tie a red ribbon
bracelet around each scout as they entered the hall. When I called dances
with arm turns I called, "Turn your partner with your red hand, change
hands, other way back." It worked so well that I know I will do it again.
I thought I would share this trick, and then ask if anyone has useful
methods when working with only children. Please share some trade secrets.
Rich Sbardella
Stafford, CT
Hi, Luke
I surf the web regularly for new-to-me choreography. When I do, I almost
always am looking up the collection of a choreographer I just heard of,
met, or whose choreography I just encountered at an event. In this case, I
look through the whole collection and pick out the ones that fit my
repertoire. As such, it is not typically important to me to see
categories, though perhaps a published date might be helpful if I am
returning to your collection after having gone through it in the past.
However, when I was a new caller, it seemed so hard to collect dances with
particular figures, transitions, orientations, or whatever, so those kinds
of categories would have been more useful to me years ago and thus may be
useful to many others now.
Hope this info is helpful!
Dugan Murphy
Portland, Maine
dugan at duganmurphy.comwww.DuganMurphy.comwww.PortlandIntownContraDance.comwww.NufSed.consulting
> From: Luke Donforth <luke.donev(a)gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Publishing dances on the web
>
> Hi Folks,
>
> I currently have a terrible system for publishing dances I've written on
> the web (blog-esque thing in wordpress; really hard to search through).
> There's been talk on and off of a big database of dances, but that doesn't
> seem to be happening so I thought I should do something for mine.
>
> I'm contemplating better ways of making dances my compositions more
> accessible; and since that would be for other people, I'm curious what's
> useful for other people.
>
> I'm envisioning four categories of dances; and then just lists of dances
> (title & sequence) on those pages. The categories I had in mind:
> Family dances
> Glossary contras
> Unique contras
> Odd formations
>
> Are there separate things you'd want to see in a list of dances when you're
> going through? Beckets, Closing dances, bouncy/smooth, etc.
>
> I've gotten really attached to Callers Companion (
> http://callerscompanion.com/), and really like how it lets searches happen
> on dances. Anyone have a good way to incorporate that, or the type of
> element checklist/flag it provides, into a web-based interface for dances?
>
> It might also be that most folks don't collect dances from websites; and
> this is wasted time. But it does seem like I've obfuscated finding my
> compositions, and I regret not making them more available.
>
> Thoughts, opinions, experience, and advice appreciated.
>
> Thanks!
>
> --
> Luke Donforth
> Luke.Donforth(a)gmail.com
>
I'm sure every caller has been there, just as every dancer was once new and stumbling, and no matter how long we've been doing it, every one of us will make mistakes. You will take stock, and try to note patterns and correct them. But striving for perfect is never going to result in being perfect. I have come to believe the thing to strive for, in each moment, is joy. In the moment of a mistake, if your forever goal is joy, you will automatically reach for your smile, your humor, the sparkle inside yourself, and share it with the dancers, and instead of you or anyone feeling bad, people will remember the spark, the warmth, that kept things spinning along. If you catch yourself mid-flogging, you might could laugh at yourself for such a silly choice, and give yourself permission to think instead of a moment when you knew the dancers and band were all with you and that synergy was happening and be glad you could be part of it.
I have had to do a lot of self reflection as a result of things going badly when I'm on mic. I have realized some profound things about myself as a result of thinking about my patterns as a caller. They aren't just applicable in calling, but are one instance, in a big public forum, of patterns I have been acting out in all areas of my life forever. Yep. I'm working on them still, not just on stage, but all the time. I think it's finally making a difference. Those learning opportunities may go deeper than you think. And the beating up only increases the chances of repeating the mistakes, or reacting negatively to new mistakes. When you pick up the mic, reach inside for your place of joy, and share it. Enjoy your work in progress.
-Andrea
Sent from my external brain
As you and others have suggested, there are two parts to one's response -
what you say to yourself, and what you say to the dancers. I think the
latter is more important, and it is of course affected by what you say to
yourself. Being able to respond humorously, recognizing that like everyone
else you make mistakes, apologize for them and then move on is very useful.
What has bugged me most about callers are those who get angry at the
dancers (some of whom may be slow to understand the nuances of what a
caller says, although usually it goes back to the caller's instructions) or
visibly at themselves. Who wants to spend time with a person who is
preoccupied with being angry at you or themselves for being human?
To the extent possible it can be useful to switch into a problem-solving
focus. During the dance you want to figure out quickly what went wrong
and/or what can be done to salvage it - make a correction, stop and start
over, switch to a different dance... After the dance is over there is time
for the post mortem, which seems to be what you are concerned about - what
did I do wrong, what could I have done differently? Focusing on how
terrible and inept you are takes away from problem-solving - you can't
change what has already happened. Of course I admit that this is easier as
one gets older (and has more mistakes to put into perspective). If it helps
perhaps you could keep a catalog of the mistakes made by all the callers
you respect. You're in good company!
David
On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 11:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an
> evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t
> teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the
> dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust
> and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned
> the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop
> self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
>
>
Me: Ouch -- that was awful. Did you notice that GLARING MISTAKE I made?
My Friends: No. We were just having fun enjoying the dances.
Eventually I stopped obsessing.
On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 10:22 AM, Claire Baffaut via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> Ah yes!
> Indeed it is a familiar feeling. So this pep talk is as much to myself as
> it is to you.
>
> - Live performance means that there will be mistakes.
> - It is not possible to learn anything without making mistakes. If you are
> not making any, you're not learning.
> - Identify a few things that could be done differently (just a few as you
> cannot fix everything at once).
> - Ask for gentle, objective feedback or suggestions.
> - Once you've done these last two, forgive yourself. You'll do better next
> time.
> - Hopefully, you can look forward the next gig and I wish you that it goes
> well and make you feel good.
>
> Cheers,
>
> Claire
>
> On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 10:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <
> callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an
>> evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t
>> teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the
>> dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust
>> and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>>
>> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned
>> the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop
>> self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>>
>> Cheers,
>> Maia
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> List Name: Callers mailing list
>> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
>> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> *Claire*
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
>
>
--
There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation,
naming things, and off-by-one errors.
I have learned that owning my mistakes publicly is an important part of
moving forward. Sometimes I use humor to soften the blow. Another very
important thing I have learned is to make the next dance a great dance.
Something fun, with guaranteed success. Our mistakes bother us more that
they bother most dancers.
My belief is that we are hired to help the dancers have a good time. One
or two little mistakes will not destroy our efforts, and even a major
mistake need not be taken out of the context of an overall successful
evening. (BTW, these are truths that I am still learning)
Rich Sbardella
Stafford, CT
On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 11:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an
> evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t
> teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the
> dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust
> and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned
> the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop
> self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
>
> _______________________________________________
> List Name: Callers mailing list
> List Address: Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
> Archives: https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/
>
>
