24 Oct
2015
24 Oct
'15
3:12 a.m.
Hello All,
I taught a dance this evening that included a ladies' gypsy. I received the
email below a few minutes ago. In teaching it I wanted to convey that it is
a flirty, eye contact sort of move. This person was obviously offended. I
am at a loss for how to respond, except to apologize for offending.
I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no
offense. I didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to make
excuses. Does this move need a new name? How would you respond?
-Amy
Seattle
Begin forwarded message:
*Subject:* *First time at your event*
This evening, I came to one of your dances for the first time. I was
impressed by the friendliness of the dancers, the quality of the musicians,
and the overall fun of the dance.
And then we got to a dance in which we were told we would be learning a
step named after an offensive term for Romani people. And I felt
uncomfortable. And then when the step was taught, it became clear that the
term was so named based on stereotypes of Romani women as being overly
sexual. And I became more uncomfortable.
I assume that this was not done maliciously, but rather out of an
unawareness of the ways that that term has been used to denigrate Romani
people throughout history (much the same way that many other racial slurs
have been used in the past by well-meaning people before they became aware
that those terms were hurtful and harmful to those disadvantaged groups).
Nonetheless, it felt shockingly offensive to me, all the more so in the
context of a community that appeared to be so welcoming and accepting.
Until that point, I had a very enjoyable time dancing at your event. I've
been a dancer in a variety of communities for many years now, and aside
from that issue, this was probably the best first experience I've had when
meeting a new dance community. It was a shame that some presumably
unintentional racial insensitivity had to ruin what was otherwise such a
positive experience.
24 Oct
24 Oct
5:17 a.m.
"Gypsy" comes from Cecil Sharp, when he was trying to name a figure that
appeared in the literature of two dancers going around each other.
My hearsay understanding is that he named it after some Romani dances he
knew of where partners didn't touch each other.
-Chris Page
San Diego, CA
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 12:12 AM, Amy Wimmer via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hello All,
I taught a dance this evening that included a ladies' gypsy. I received
the email below a few minutes ago. In teaching it I wanted to convey that
it is a flirty, eye contact sort of move. This person was obviously
offended. I am at a loss for how to respond, except to apologize for
offending.
I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no
offense. I didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to make
excuses. Does this move need a new name? How would you respond?
-Amy
Seattle
Begin forwarded message:
*Subject:* *First time at your event*
This evening, I came to one of your dances for the first time. I was
impressed by the friendliness of the dancers, the quality of the musicians,
and the overall fun of the dance.
And then we got to a dance in which we were told we would be learning a
step named after an offensive term for Romani people. And I felt
uncomfortable. And then when the step was taught, it became clear that the
term was so named based on stereotypes of Romani women as being overly
sexual. And I became more uncomfortable.
I assume that this was not done maliciously, but rather out of an
unawareness of the ways that that term has been used to denigrate Romani
people throughout history (much the same way that many other racial slurs
have been used in the past by well-meaning people before they became aware
that those terms were hurtful and harmful to those disadvantaged groups).
Nonetheless, it felt shockingly offensive to me, all the more so in the
context of a community that appeared to be so welcoming and accepting.
Until that point, I had a very enjoyable time dancing at your event. I've
been a dancer in a variety of communities for many years now, and aside
from that issue, this was probably the best first experience I've had when
meeting a new dance community. It was a shame that some presumably
unintentional racial insensitivity had to ruin what was otherwise such a
positive experience.
_______________________________________________
Callers mailing list
Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net
6:39 a.m.
While I did already know that the Romani people have been severely discriminated against
and oppressed, I did not know that the term gypsy was considered offensive. So I will
think further about that.
I would not be inclined to describe the move as “flirty”, however, because that is the
aspect of the move that I already know makes some people not like it since dancers
inclined to insensitive flirting sometimes take license with it. I prefer to let people
add flirtatiousness or not on their own without encouragement and to describe the move
only by its basic physical attributes.
Always good to take a fresh look at things.
Thanks for raising the question here.
-cynthia
From: Callers [mailto:callers-bounces@lists.sharedweight.net] On Behalf Of Amy Wimmer via
Callers
Sent: Saturday, October 24, 2015 3:13 AM
To: callers(a)sharedweight.net
Subject: [Callers] Advice about "gypsy"
Hello All,
I taught a dance this evening that included a ladies' gypsy. I received the email
below a few minutes ago. In teaching it I wanted to convey that it is a flirty, eye
contact sort of move. This person was obviously offended. I am at a loss for how to
respond, except to apologize for offending.
I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no offense. I
didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to make excuses. Does this
move need a new name? How would you respond?
-Amy
Seattle
Begin forwarded message:
Subject: First time at your event
This evening, I came to one of your dances for the first time. I was impressed by the
friendliness of the dancers, the quality of the musicians, and the overall fun of the
dance.
And then we got to a dance in which we were told we would be learning a step named after
an offensive term for Romani people. And I felt uncomfortable. And then when the step was
taught, it became clear that the term was so named based on stereotypes of Romani women as
being overly sexual. And I became more uncomfortable.
I assume that this was not done maliciously, but rather out of an unawareness of the ways
that that term has been used to denigrate Romani people throughout history (much the same
way that many other racial slurs have been used in the past by well-meaning people before
they became aware that those terms were hurtful and harmful to those disadvantaged
groups).
Nonetheless, it felt shockingly offensive to me, all the more so in the context of a
community that appeared to be so welcoming and accepting.
Until that point, I had a very enjoyable time dancing at your event. I've been a
dancer in a variety of communities for many years now, and aside from that issue, this was
probably the best first experience I've had when meeting a new dance community. It was
a shame that some presumably unintentional racial insensitivity had to ruin what was
otherwise such a positive experience.
9:55 a.m.
Before I commented I decided to google first, and I'm glad I did. I was not aware of
the depth of hurt people feel about the word.
http://gypsyappropriations.blogspot.com/2010/04/problem-with-word-gypsy.html
But the offended person is correct in his/her assumption that the word is not used
maliciously in contra dancing. I agree with cynthia. I do not consider the move flirty,
merely friendly, a way of acknowledging that you are dancing with another person. I'm
sure people don't attribute much to the meaning, just as we don't think, "Oh,
is this how they twirl in California?", or "Is the robin insane, or just pissed
off?". We just joyously do the moves. Easy for me to say as a non-Romani, but maybe
it is an opportunity to embrace the word as a positive thing, at least in this one
context.
Brooks
To: callers(a)sharedweight.net
Date: Sat, 24 Oct 2015 06:39:21 -0400
Subject: Re: [Callers] Advice about "gypsy"
From: callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
While I did already know that the Romani people have been severely discriminated against
and oppressed, I did not know that the term gypsy was considered offensive. So I will
think further about that. I would not be inclined to describe the move as “flirty”,
however, because that is the aspect of the move that I already know makes some people not
like it since dancers inclined to insensitive flirting sometimes take license with it. I
prefer to let people add flirtatiousness or not on their own without encouragement and to
describe the move only by its basic physical attributes. Always good to take a fresh look
at things.Thanks for raising the question here.-cynthia From: Callers
[mailto:callers-bounces@lists.sharedweight.net] On Behalf Of Amy Wimmer via Callers
Sent: Saturday, October 24, 2015 3:13 AM
To: callers(a)sharedweight.net
Subject: [Callers] Advice about "gypsy" Hello All, I taught a dance this evening
that included a ladies' gypsy. I received the email below a few minutes ago. In
teaching it I wanted to convey that it is a flirty, eye contact sort of move. This person
was obviously offended. I am at a loss for how to respond, except to apologize for
offending. I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no
offense. I didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to make excuses.
Does this move need a new name? How would you respond? -AmySeattle
Begin forwarded message:Subject: First time at your eventThis evening, I came to one of
your dances for the first time. I was impressed by the friendliness of the dancers, the
quality of the musicians, and the overall fun of the dance.And then we got to a dance in
which we were told we would be learning a step named after an offensive term for Romani
people. And I felt uncomfortable. And then when the step was taught, it became clear that
the term was so named based on stereotypes of Romani women as being overly sexual. And I
became more uncomfortable. I assume that this was not done maliciously, but rather out of
an unawareness of the ways that that term has been used to denigrate Romani people
throughout history (much the same way that many other racial slurs have been used in the
past by well-meaning people before they became aware that those terms were hurtful and
harmful to those disadvantaged groups). Nonetheless, it felt shockingly offensive to me,
all the more so in the context of a community that appeared to be so welcoming and
accepting. Until that point, I had a very enjoyable time dancing at your event. I've
been a dancer in a variety of communities for many years now, and aside from that issue,
this was probably the best first experience I've had when meeting a new dance
community. It was a shame that some presumably unintentional racial insensitivity had to
ruin what was otherwise such a positive experience.
_______________________________________________
Callers mailing list
Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net
10:08 a.m.
Before I respond directly, I ask that all of us posting what I expect to be
many replies to trim post quotes to just the pertinent bits (particularly
those reading the "digest" version).
I don't stress flirtation with this move - if so inclined, it appears to
develop quite naturally on its own. What I typically say to a first time
group of dancers is something along the lines of "lock [tractor beam] eyes
with this person, slightly present your right [left] shoulder to them and
walk around them [counter-]clockwise without touching - we call this a
Gypsy".
In response to this person from your dance I would personally reply with
something like:
"I'm sorry that you were offended and take your input seriously. The
"gypsy" move in Contra dancing is shared from English Country Dance, and is
a standardized term in this context. As a result of your input I've raised
this issue with a group of dance leaders I participate in and there may be
an opportunity to rename this move over time. Thanks for coming to our
dance and I hope you'll join us again."
Curiously enough, I'd raised this naming issue with a group of callers (and
dancers glommed on) at a house party recently. An area caller had tried
rebranding the Gypsy as an Orbit, which this group rejected due to the
existing usage & meaning for that term. One participant was of Romani
heritage and expressed pride at the existing term and satisfaction at it
being used for such a nice dance move and would feel loss were it to be
renamed. I don't mention this to make excuses for anything that might
offend but rather to show that there are many possible perspectives. I'd
since thought of other possible names and came up with these:
- Swirl - gentlest, unfortunately similar to "twirl" in sound
- Cyclone - too "violent", encouraging abandon?
- Vortex - distinct in sound, 2 syllables and short when spelled out.
Sorry you find yourself in this situation. We know your actual intent was
to bring happiness, not offend.
-Don
On Sat, Oct 24, 2015 at 3:12 AM, Amy Wimmer via Callers <
callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
In teaching it I wanted to convey that it is a flirty,
eye contact sort of
move. This person was obviously offended. I am at a loss for how to
respond, except to apologize for offending.
11:30 a.m.
Since when I'm prompting, I sometimes just say "right shoulder" (or
"left
shoulder" for a left shoulder gypsy), I'm going to try using that as the
name the next time I call. The teaching would look like:
"Point your right shoulder at your neighbor and look them in the eyes. Walk
around them. Swing."
or
"This neighbor allemande right once and a half. Go on to the next neighbor
with a left shoulder - point your left shoulder at them, look them in the
eyes, and walk around once, but come back to your first neighbor and swing."
(Of course, this means that see-saws are a little bit more confusing, since
in teaching them, one often uses the words "left shoulder". But those are
rare enough that I'm not overly concerned.)
Yoyo Zhou
11:34 a.m.
Hi Amy,
I believe this topic has come up previously on other callers lists, and it is a bit of a
conundrum.
There are other terms in the arts, like "buck dancing". American percussive
dance dates back to the slave period. In some regions, what was an (unfortunate) common
term for male slaves?
Something to ruminate on.
Woody
Sent from my iPad
From: Amy Wimmer via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> To:
callers(a)sharedweight.net Subject: [Callers] Advice about "gypsy" Date: 10/24/15,
12:12 AM
Hello All,
I taught a dance this evening that included a ladies' gypsy. I received the email
below a few minutes ago. In teaching it I wanted to convey that it is a flirty, eye
contact sort of move. This person was obviously offended. I am at a loss for how to
respond, except to apologize for offending.
I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no offense. I
didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to make excuses. Does this
move need a new name? How would you respond?
-Amy
Seattle
Begin forwarded message:
Subject: First time at your event
This evening, I came to one of your dances for the first time. I was impressed by the
friendliness of the dancers, the quality of the musicians, and the overall fun of the
dance.
And then we got to a dance in which we were told we would be learning a step named after
an offensive term for Romani people. And I felt uncomfortable. And then when the step was
taught, it became clear that the term was so named based on stereotypes of Romani women as
being overly sexual. And I became more uncomfortable.
I assume that this was not done maliciously, but rather out of an unawareness of the ways
that that term has been used to denigrate Romani people throughout history (much the same
way that many other racial slurs have been used in the past by well-meaning people before
they became aware that those terms were hurtful and harmful to those disadvantaged
groups).
Nonetheless, it felt shockingly offensive to me, all the more so in the context of a
community that appeared to be so welcoming and accepting.
Until that point, I had a very enjoyable time dancing at your event. I've been a
dancer in a variety of communities for many years now, and aside from that issue, this was
probably the best first experience I've had when meeting a new dance community. It was
a shame that some presumably unintentional racial insensitivity had to ruin what was
otherwise such a positive experience.
1:09 p.m.
I've been dancing & calling for almost 40 years, and I lived with Romani and other
travelling peoples in England and Ireland for most of the 1980s. Times change and
meanings change, and it's time to change this. Some people consider this the
equivalent of using the "N" word. Within the community it can be used in certain
contexts even with pride, but use by outsiders to describe a move like this could be
considered highly offensive. AND please note that the name is not the only thing that
could be considered offensive about this move. The offense will not go away until callers
stop instructing people to flirt with each other. "Stare longingly into the
eyes..." of that total stranger? YUCH. Yes, I find the call and the move offensive
on several levels, to the extent that I never call it, and will not join in a dance that I
know includes it.
5:05 p.m.
On 10/24/15 12:12 AM, Amy Wimmer via Callers wrote:
Hello All,
I taught a dance this evening that included a ladies' gypsy. I
received the email below a few minutes ago. In teaching it I wanted to
convey that it is a flirty, eye contact sort of move. This person was
obviously offended. I am at a loss for how to respond, except to
apologize for offending.
I'm pretty sure I described the move accurately. I meant absolutely no
offense. I didn't make up the name for the move, but don't want to
make excuses. Does this move need a new name? How would you respond?
I think apologizing for unintentionally offending is good but I don't
think you have to take on all of what your correspondent is offended over.
Your correspondent made up the idea that it's so named because of the
idea that Romani women are oversexualized.
Here's my take on this:
- the use of the term "Gypsy" is inherently offensive to some of the
people to whom it refers in just the way the use of the term "Indian" is
inherently offensive to some Native Americans. It's a name they don't
accept (a) because it incorrectly ascribes an incorrect geographical
origin to them (Egyptian for Gypsies, India (well, East Indies) for
Indians) and (b) was assigned to them by outsiders and became the terms
used for them by people who wanted to move them along / kill them.
(Although the term the Nazis used, Zigeuner, derives from a Greek root
meaning "untouchable" rather than "Egyptian", according to the US
Holocaust Museum website.)
- The term "Indian File" for walking in a line, one after another,
doesn't suggest anything particularly derogatory about Native Americans;
I think it's an observation or speculation that the way East Coast
(forest-dwelling) indigenous people walked through forests on minimal
trails was in single file. We can point out that white society thinks
there are many admirable things about native peoples - the whole "Indian
Guides" thing shows that - and that the use of the world "Indian" in
that isn't intended to be offensive, etc, etc, and yet the obviously
right thing to do was to start saying "single file" instead, because the
benefits of not pointlessly offending people vastly outweighed the
benefits of continuing to use a non-descriptive term. It's virtually
never effective and rarely kind to tell people they shouldn't be offended.
- By me, the same logic suggests that we should stop calling the figure
gypsy. We can go at length into why it's not named after Gypsies, why
"Gypsy" is a superset name that includes Rom and other traveling people,
some of whom don't mind it, the use of gypsy to mean "traveler" (from
which dance gypsy, Gypsy moth, etc, derive), the admiring use of gypsy
to mean free spirit ("gypsy in my soul"), etc, but none of that actually
matters in this context. What actual benefit do we derive from calling
it "gypsy", other than the sunk cost of having a community of people who
know it by that name? It's not descriptive. (It is evocative and we
have a bunch of dances with "gypsy" in the name; not sure what to do
about those.)
(I had been thinking that it would be very difficult to get a universal
change of name for the figure in the absence of a Callerlab for Contra,
but Yoyo's post (where he says he'll just drop the name and prompt by
which shoulder you go around) opened my eyes to the possibility of
effective individual action by callers; you don't need universal
agreement on a new name. That does open the door to a dancer on the
floor saying "you mean gypsy?" but I guess you can say "that name is
offensive to some people".) I'm going to have to think more about this
for my own practice as an English and a contra caller.
- I'm personally interested in the history of things and how they got
their names, and I'm convinced that gypsy in contra was picked up from
gypsy in English which was picked up from "whole-gyp" and "half-gyp"
in
Morris and that there's not necessarily any relationship of the name to
any group of people in origin, and I do not believe that in naming the
figure anybody was saying anything about the stereotypical
characteristics of any people. I really, with all the intellectual
honesty I have available, don't believe that. (And I've heard different
stereotypical characteristics assumed to be the origin - sexuality,
untrustworthiness, tendency to do non-touching dances, so I think these
are all just-so stories, ex post facto rationalizations.) I don't think
this blameless origin is a reason to keep the name, and I know it's
absolutely ineffective to point out the blameless origin to somebody
who's offended.
That's the end of my argument, but I have more thoughts.
- This is different from people who are offended by callers who
sexualize the figure, which they could do whatever it's called. I don't
mind gypsy meltdowns, but I find "until you just can't stand it
anymore" kinda tedious; let's just walk around each other maintaining a
comfortable level of eye contact until the music tells us to swing, how
about that?) (And I think sexualizing things and telling dancers how
they're supposed to feel, especially if it's sexual, is just getting
more and more passe as different people of different (and no) sexual
orientation are dancing on different sides of the set. We're all
people, we're all dancing together, that's enough.)
- I *like* the figure, and I really like the dance providing a safe
space to look at somebody else's face and look them in the eye without
it necessarily signaling anything. In the general world meeting
people's eyes can carry a lot of unintended freight; I think it's great
to have a place where you can just do it as part of the dance. Ideally
a connection is established, but there are all kinds of connections and
they're not necessarily sexual. (Which is not to say that I haven't
gotten stirred up, even in meltdown-free, far-apart English dance
gypsies, but that's way different from the caller telling everybody
they're supposed to.)
-- Alan
6:06 p.m.
Thank you for articulating these thought so clearly.
I wonder if Tony Barrand might have some idea about the origins from the Morris and
longsword perspective.
Patricia
Sent from my iPhone
On Oct 24, 2015, at 5:05 PM, Alan Winston via Callers
<callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
I think apologizing for unintentionally offending is good but I don't think you have
to take on all of what your correspondent is offended over.
Your correspondent made up the idea that it's so named because of the idea that
Romani women are oversexualized.
Here's my take on this:
- the use of the term "Gypsy" is inherently offensive to some of the people to
whom it refers in just the way the use of the term "Indian" is inherently
offensive to some Native Americans. It's a name they don't accept (a) because it
incorrectly ascribes an incorrect geographical origin to them (Egyptian for Gypsies, India
(well, East Indies) for Indians) and (b) was assigned to them by outsiders and became the
terms used for them by people who wanted to move them along / kill them. (Although the
term the Nazis used, Zigeuner, derives from a Greek root meaning "untouchable"
rather than "Egyptian", according to the US Holocaust Museum website.)
- The term "Indian File" for walking in a line, one after another, doesn't
suggest anything particularly derogatory about Native Americans; I think it's an
observation or speculation that the way East Coast (forest-dwelling) indigenous people
walked through forests on minimal trails was in single file. We can point out that white
society thinks there are many admirable things about native peoples - the whole
"Indian Guides" thing shows that - and that the use of the world
"Indian" in that isn't intended to be offensive, etc, etc, and yet the
obviously right thing to do was to start saying "single file" instead, because
the benefits of not pointlessly offending people vastly outweighed the benefits of
continuing to use a non-descriptive term. It's virtually never effective and rarely
kind to tell people they shouldn't be offended.
- By me, the same logic suggests that we should stop calling the figure gypsy. We can go
at length into why it's not named after Gypsies, why "Gypsy" is a superset
name that includes Rom and other traveling people, some of whom don't mind it, the use
of gypsy to mean "traveler" (from which dance gypsy, Gypsy moth, etc, derive),
the admiring use of gypsy to mean free spirit ("gypsy in my soul"), etc, but
none of that actually matters in this context. What actual benefit do we derive from
calling it "gypsy", other than the sunk cost of having a community of people who
know it by that name? It's not descriptive. (It is evocative and we have a bunch of
dances with "gypsy" in the name; not sure what to do about those.)
(I had been thinking that it would be very difficult to get a universal change of name
for the figure in the absence of a Callerlab for Contra, but Yoyo's post (where he
says he'll just drop the name and prompt by which shoulder you go around) opened my
eyes to the possibility of effective individual action by callers; you don't need
universal agreement on a new name. That does open the door to a dancer on the floor
saying "you mean gypsy?" but I guess you can say "that name is
offensive to some people".) I'm going to have to think more about this for my
own practice as an English and a contra caller.
- I'm personally interested in the history of things and how they got their names,
and I'm convinced that gypsy in contra was picked up from gypsy in English which was
picked up from "whole-gyp" and "half-gyp" in Morris and that
there's not necessarily any relationship of the name to any group of people in origin,
and I do not believe that in naming the figure anybody was saying anything about the
stereotypical characteristics of any people. I really, with all the intellectual honesty
I have available, don't believe that. (And I've heard different stereotypical
characteristics assumed to be the origin - sexuality, untrustworthiness, tendency to do
non-touching dances, so I think these are all just-so stories, ex post facto
rationalizations.) I don't think this blameless origin is a reason to keep the name,
and I know it's absolutely ineffective to point out the blameless origin to somebody
who's offended.
That's the end of my argument, but I have more thoughts.
- This is different from people who are offended by callers who sexualize the figure,
which they could do whatever it's called. I don't mind gypsy meltdowns, but I
find "until you just can't stand it anymore" kinda tedious; let's just
walk around each other maintaining a comfortable level of eye contact until the music
tells us to swing, how about that?) (And I think sexualizing things and telling dancers
how they're supposed to feel, especially if it's sexual, is just getting more and
more passe as different people of different (and no) sexual orientation are dancing on
different sides of the set. We're all people, we're all dancing together,
that's enough.)
- I *like* the figure, and I really like the dance providing a safe space to look at
somebody else's face and look them in the eye without it necessarily signaling
anything. In the general world meeting people's eyes can carry a lot of unintended
freight; I think it's great to have a place where you can just do it as part of the
dance. Ideally a connection is established, but there are all kinds of connections and
they're not necessarily sexual. (Which is not to say that I haven't gotten
stirred up, even in meltdown-free, far-apart English dance gypsies, but that's way
different from the caller telling everybody they're supposed to.)
-- Alan
_______________________________________________
Callers mailing list
Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net
25 Oct
25 Oct
6:32 p.m.
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Michael Fuerst 802 N Broadway Urbana IL 61801 217 239 5844
6:56 p.m.
The use of gypsy as a contra dance term is almost as offensive as a contra dance
containing a shadow swing. (JUST KIDDING)
I would suggest a response of the following nature:
Hello _______
As you noted, (i) you were impressed by the friendliness of the dancers, the quality
of the musicians, and the overall fun of the dance; and (ii) this was probably the best
first experience Iyou had when meeting a new dance community.
On the political spectrum, contra dancers on average are far to the left of center, with
quite a few very far to the left. They would not tolerate a term with intent of
disparaging any group.The term gypsy (walking around another dancer shoulder to shoulder)
has been used in contra dancing ever since the motion was introduced into contra
dancing--probably several decades ago. [Insert information about the origin of the use
of gypsy from previous posts on this thread.]Many words and expressions have origins long
forgotten in the context of their current usage. You can find many examples of such at
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/words-literally-changed-meaning-throug… xx
years of contra dancing, yours is the first lament about this word that I ever heard.
For contra dancers the word has no other meaning than walking around another shoulder to
shoulder.
Our contra dance community takes great pride in the friendliness and fun of our dances
Hope to see you at our next dance.
Regards,____________
Michael Fuerst 802 N Broadway Urbana IL 61801 217 239 5844
26 Oct
26 Oct
2:16 p.m.
On 2015-10-25 1556, Michael Fuerst via Callers wrote:
The use of gypsy as a contra dance term is almost as
offensive as a
contra dance containing a shadow swing. (JUST KIDDING)
I would suggest a response of the following nature:
Hello _______
snip
I'd almost stop there.
The most significant action/interaction has occurred, the person spoke
up. The useful thing is to acknowledge it -- receipt of the communication.
(As an operator in many radio communication services I can easily attest
to the fact that an indication of receipt is different from one stating
agreement.)
Were I writing in response (to that which I have not seen, or felt a
reaction to), I might state in my version of a kindly tone, "Thank you
for writing, and expressing your concern." . . . point of view, etc. as
one considers it useful.
There is little need to explain anything. They wish to speak, be heard.
Indicating they've been heard is likely to be the most satisfying thing
to them.
Perhaps have a look for the most excellent philosophy of Bruce Hamilton
on giving and receiving feedback.
Cheers, John
--
J.D. Erskine
Victoria, BC
4:18 p.m.
On Mon, Oct 26, 2015, JD Erskine iDance via Callers wrote:
The most significant action/interaction has occurred, the person spoke up.
The useful thing is to acknowledge it -- receipt of the communication.
(As an operator in many radio communication services I can easily attest to
the fact that an indication of receipt is different from one stating
agreement.)
That is true.
Were I writing in response (to that which I have not
seen, or felt a
reaction to), I might state in my version of a kindly tone, "Thank you for
writing, and expressing your concern." . . . point of view, etc. as one
considers it useful.
There is little need to explain anything. They wish to speak, be heard.
Indicating they've been heard is likely to be the most satisfying thing to
them.
Maybe. I have certainly been in situations where I actually do want
action, and a simple acknowledgment of receipt might make me angrier.
That can be doubly or triply true when I suspect that the person has not
understood my point, so I would at minimum encourage "mirroring":
rephrasing what the person said in your own words and asking if that's
what they meant.
--
Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6 http://rule6.info/
<*> <*> <*>
Help a hearing-impaired person: http://rule6.info/hearing.html
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