Before I respond directly, I ask that all of us posting what I expect to be many replies to trim post quotes to just the pertinent bits (particularly those reading the "digest" version).

I don't stress flirtation with this move - if so inclined, it appears to develop quite naturally on its own. What I typically say to a first time group of dancers is something along the lines of "lock [tractor beam] eyes with this person, slightly present your right [left] shoulder to them and walk around them [counter-]clockwise without touching - we call this a Gypsy".

In response to this person from your dance I would personally reply with something like:

"I'm sorry that you were offended and take your input seriously. The "gypsy" move in Contra dancing is shared from English Country Dance, and is a standardized term in this context. As a result of your input I've raised this issue with a group of dance leaders I participate in and there may be an opportunity to rename this move over time. Thanks for coming to our dance and I hope you'll join us again."

Curiously enough, I'd raised this naming issue with a group of callers (and dancers glommed on) at a house party recently. An area caller had tried rebranding the Gypsy as an Orbit, which this group rejected due to the existing usage & meaning for that term. One participant was of Romani heritage and expressed pride at the existing term and satisfaction at it being used for such a nice dance move and would feel loss were it to be renamed. I don't mention this to make excuses for anything that might offend but rather to show that there are many possible perspectives. I'd since thought of other possible names and came up with these:

• Swirl - gentlest, unfortunately similar to "twirl" in sound
• Cyclone - too "violent", encouraging abandon?
• Vortex - distinct in sound, 2 syllables and short when spelled out.

Sorry you find yourself in this situation. We know your actual intent was to bring happiness, not offend.

-Don