Alas, this anecdote is only the latest evidence of the decline of "community feeling" at dances.  Too many dancers feel that coming to a dance is a contractual relationship; i.e., they pay, they dance, they go home and don't think about it any more...except to think"Was there a dancer on the floor whose capacity is diminished and is thus ruining MY dancing experience?" I would like to see our dance charge these people exactly what it costs to provide them the contractual experience of dancing:  $11.25 for this particular dance (assuming 100 dancers) + whatever we set aside to pay eventually for maintenance and repair of the venue (most of which will be done by volunteers) + whatever we need to set aside to accommodate "vulnerable dancers" (e.g., a special dance for them, perhaps?) = $17-20/per, maybe.   And that's assuming volunteers open and close, find the talent and do the PR. "Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it all you've got, be resolute, and love without stopping."  St. PaulMerry Kay Shernock         381 VT Rte 12 NONorthfield, VT  05663 (802)595-3972 On Tuesday, October 24, 2017 7:36 AM, Katy Heine via Organizers <organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: For the last three years, one of our older dancers has been declining with dementia--and her husband, not a good dancer himself, continues to bring her to our dances. Invariably, they create chaos on the dance floor. Most people on the board of my dance organization feel it's important to continue to include these dancers until such time that the husband decides it's time for them to stop coming. On the other hand, I'm concerned with the effect that they're having on other dancers. I've heard at least one dancer say that she considered not coming to a dance when she saw that this couple was there--and certainly this couple's presence is diminishing the dance experience of many of the dancers who've come to our events for the high level of dancing that we were able to deliver in the past. Has anyone else wrestled with this sort of problem? If yes, what did you do (or not do) about it? Thanks, Katy Heine _______________________________________________ Organizers mailing list Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/organizers-sharedweight.net

Katy: This is a heart breaking topic since so many of us know someone in declining mental and/or physical capacity. Sometimes people will self select and opt out of dancing if they have insight into their declining abilities, other times they don't, putting a strain on the community. Approx 15 years ago Philadelphia had a dancer with declining physical abilities which divided the community for several years. He finally moved away to be with family. The gentleman that you are describing (I observed them when I was there in April), seems to want to maintain the "normal" in his life, rightfully so. She did not seem engaged in the dancing (ie, didn't respond to the calls), but seemed to enjoy some of the one-on-one attention that everyone paid her as she was "escorted" through the figures, but at times looked frustrated. Dale had a great suggestion to separate the couple. Great idea for the husband...he could still manage (although slower) to get through the dance. However, I personally don't think that having another partner would be helpful for her as she seemed to require significant hand-holding not just from her partner but also from all her neighbors. You might consider getting volunteers to "dance" with her on the sidelines one-on-one if she's interested in dancing (and if she is able to engage without her husband with her), simple figures like allemande, two hand turn, do-si-do, or a simple "swing" couple dance. You would have to have several volunteers willing sit out a dance to accommodate her if this option works. Or she might be willing to sit at the front desk with whomever is sitting there, if she's social and interested in talking with people as they enter. This would keep her in a safe space while the husband dances. However, I really want to emphasize Dan's suggestion of talking with the husband. He needs to be engaged in the discussion and solution. The dances were challenging for her in April and I suspect that its worse now. Perhaps you could suggest that the caller do a simple dance, like Salmonella Evening for all beginners (but especially for them if he insists on dancing with her), but unless there are a significant number of beginners at the dance, then catering to this couple for more than one dance in the evening seems unfair to the other dancers. I don't think their participation in a slower beginner dance or family dance would be appropriate either...she didn't appear to have the mental capacity to learn the dance and didn't respond to the calls over the mic. So, unless there's a dance that caters to seniors with declining mental capacity, I think she would be a challenge to have in any line. In addition, my main concern is for her safety. Usually with declining mental capacity comes a slowing of physical response, balance and reaction time. Changing directions at 120 beats/minute probably challenges her and puts her at risk for a fall which might include someone near her as well. I don't know if a fall like this would open your organization to liability. You might want to look into that. I applaud you and your other organizers for tackling this issue. I suspect that sooner or later all dance communities will have to manage something like this. Donna Hunt -----Original Message----- From: Katy Heine via Organizers <organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> To: Organizers <Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> Sent: Tue, Oct 24, 2017 10:03 am Subject: [Organizers] what to do about a dancer with dementia For the last three years, one of our older dancers has been declining with dementia--and her husband, not a good dancer himself, continues to bring her to our dances. Invariably, they create chaos on the dance floor. Most people on the board of my dance organization feel it's important to continue to include these dancers until such time that the husband decides it's time for them to stop coming. On the other hand, I'm concerned with the effect that they're having on other dancers. I've heard at least one dancer say that she considered not coming to a dance when she saw that this couple was there--and certainly this couple's presence is diminishing the dance experience of many of the dancers who've come to our events for the high level of dancing that we were able to deliver in the past. Has anyone else wrestled with this sort of problem? If yes, what did you do (or not do) about it? Thanks, Katy Heine _______________________________________________ Organizers mailing list Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/organizers-sharedweight.net