Another thought. We had a dancer who came to our dance regularly -- long after he could actually participate. Bill had "his" chair that he sat in and everyone made a point of stopping by to chat at some time during the evening.

Looking back on it, the only thing that concerns me is that he drove himself to and from the dances. We should have organized a carpool for him the way we have for other dancers who couldn't drive.

Is there a good place to sit in your hall where the couple can be part of the evening without being part of the actual dance?

Dale

On Tue, Oct 24, 2017 at 9:26 AM, Dan Pearl via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

My mom is suffering from dementia. Though frail, she has the ability to dance very well in an improvised way. Because her memory is virtually gone, and her cognitive skills are impaired, she could not do any sequence-type dancing.

I look for experiences that are within her capabilities, with the full expectation that she will remember none of it the next day. "Enjoyment of the moment" activities such as museums, zoos, concerts, etc. are good. Movies are likely not good.

In this dancing couple, the woman likely does not realize the amount of accommodations that others are making for her. She has a disease, and is not at fault. In fact, I find it touching that the couple wants to continue the activity.

But they really can't.

It is time to talk with the husband, to let him know that participation by his wife is causing the other dancers to have to support her. Also, his wife seems more frustrated and confused by the dances. You can say that while you treasure their participation in your dance over the years, but it may be time to stop coming to the regular dances. Do your research, and see if there are any activities in the area for her offered by "memory cafes" or senior centers.

Good luck.

Dan Pearl

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