7 Dec
2023
7 Dec
'23
4:40 p.m.
I appreciate and I am interested in Darlene's point about being more
specific about behavior, (more specific than "creepy") and we might think
about a short list of what makes some dancers (or new dancers?)
uncomfortable.
We all want to improve *retention *of new dancers!
I am the kind of dancer that smiles a lot (contra just makes me smile!) and
I enjoy connecting with everyone present.
Contra sometimes makes me a little goofy, or silly. Just a little.
I can be very welcoming, life if a small group of new dancers misses the
Welcome Session, I might grab my wife or someone and give a 5 min mini
lesson in the hallway, and new dancers really appreciate it!
But, maybe one in twenty dancers- I get a weird vibe like they are
uncomfortable with my vibe!
Maybe they think I'm acting too familiar too fast? Or I'm enjoying too
much eye contact?? I don't really know.
But I would not be surprised if 1 in 20 finds me creepy, as I don't fully
understand it. I am an older guy and contra makes me feel very happy and
youthful.
I did ask one local dancer recently after a dance if I was making her
uncomfortable. I said, "Can I ask you a question? No big deal- I'm just
curious. Am I doing anything to make you uncomfortable?"
She laughed and said no, of course not. Why do you ask that? (So we had
a 1 minute conversation and all is well)
But maybe a "dance environment committee" could draft a short list of "How
to make sure we help new dancers feel as comfortable as possible". or
something.
A few things on my personal list:
When I dance with a new dancer that seems concerned
they aren't getting
it. I often encourage them: "You are doing
great"
We notice when a dancer has been sitting out, and ask
if they want to
dance.
I try to learn new-ish dancer's names. (We have
sticky name tags at the
front desk, and they often fall off)
I try to introduce new dancers to other dancers I
think they might have
something in common with, or are in their age group.
We personally invite them to go out with our
"after the dance, get a
snack group" which we announce sometime in the 2nd
half.
best, Rob
On Wed, Dec 6, 2023 at 6:01 PM Darlene Hamilton via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hello all,
I am late to the conversation and still need to catch up, however I'm
planning a major event this weekend so not quite “there” yet.
I have 2 things to mention...
First... I am bothered by the “creepy men” comment. I understand the point
however I feel that we should not be addressing this as a gender thing.
Many people can feel creepy, or clingy, or overbearing, etc. I hope that
some focus can be put on the real definition and not something so vague and
open to interpretation as the “creepy” definition. (Again I understand the
feeling but we are businesses even if only community businesses.)
Second... we do have an organizers meet-up that happens every 2nd Monday
of the month which is THIS MONDAY. This sounds like a great topic to
discuss along with other safety protocols put in place by organizations.
For example, we have two “safety officers,” one male, one female, one is
older, one is younger, so that there is hopefully a person that folks feel
safe speaking to if needed. (We can share more of our protocol at the
meeting this Monday.)
Here is the information to join in:
Organizers Monthly Meet-up
2nd Mondays every month
Next meet-up: December 11, at 1:30 p.m. PT/ 4:30 p.m. ET.
Link https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers
<https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers?fbclid=IwAR2k3ies3ySquKcq1D6Jdo6eaUAIg5Z1_PBUaWad80frjRniA_xgATgTyB4>
Hope to see you there. We chat about all topical subjects to dance events
and anyone involved in the organization of a dance, or similar, community
group is welcome to come and join the discussions.
All the best, and thank you for the work you do in the community,
Darlene
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Darlene Hamilton
*Caller, Dancer, Founder of*
*The Historical Tea & Dance Society*
*Historical Balls, Tea Dances, and Historical Dance classes*
*For more information about events and classes go to**www.historicalteaanddance.org
<http://www.historicalteaanddance.org/>*
*Like us on facebook!*
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