I appreciate and I am interested in Darlene's point about being more specific about behavior, (more specific than "creepy") and we might think about a short list of what makes some dancers (or new dancers?) uncomfortable.
We all want to improve retention of new dancers!

I am the kind of dancer that smiles a lot (contra just makes me smile!) and I enjoy connecting with everyone present.
Contra sometimes makes me a little goofy,   or silly.   Just a little.
I can be very welcoming, life if a small group of new dancers misses the Welcome Session, I might grab my wife or someone and give a 5 min mini lesson in the hallway, and new dancers really appreciate it!

But, maybe one in twenty dancers- I get a weird vibe like they are uncomfortable with my vibe!
Maybe they think I'm acting too familiar too fast?   Or I'm enjoying too much eye contact??   I don't really know.
But I would not be surprised if 1 in 20 finds me creepy, as I don't fully understand it.   I am an older guy and contra makes me feel very happy and youthful.

I did ask one local dancer recently after a dance if I was making her uncomfortable. I said, "Can I ask you a question?  No big deal- I'm just curious.  Am I doing anything to make you uncomfortable?"

She laughed and said no, of course not.   Why do you ask that?   (So we had a 1 minute conversation and all is well)

But maybe a "dance environment committee" could draft a short list of "How to make sure we help new dancers feel as comfortable as possible". or something.

A few things on my personal list:
> When I dance with a new dancer that seems concerned they aren't getting it.  I often encourage them: "You are doing great"
> We notice when a dancer has been sitting out, and ask if they want to dance.
> I try to learn new-ish dancer's names.  (We have sticky name tags at the front desk, and they often fall off)
> I try to introduce new dancers to other dancers I think they might have something in common with, or are in their age group.
> We personally invite them to go out with our "after the dance, get a snack group" which we announce sometime in the 2nd half.

best,  Rob

On Wed, Dec 6, 2023 at 6:01 PM Darlene Hamilton via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hello all,

I am late to the conversation and still need to catch up, however I'm planning a major event this weekend so not quite “there” yet.

I have 2 things to mention...

First... I am bothered by the “creepy men” comment. I understand the point however I feel that we should not be addressing this as a gender thing. Many people can feel creepy, or clingy, or overbearing, etc. I hope that some focus can be put on the real definition and not something so vague and open to interpretation as the “creepy” definition. (Again I understand the feeling but we are businesses even if only community businesses.)

Second... we do have an organizers meet-up that happens every 2nd Monday of the month which is THIS MONDAY. This sounds like a great topic to discuss along with other safety protocols put in place by organizations. For example, we have two “safety officers,” one male, one female, one is older, one is younger, so that there is hopefully a person that folks feel safe speaking to if needed. (We can share more of our protocol at the meeting this Monday.)
Here is the information to join in:

Organizers Monthly Meet-up
2nd Mondays every month
Next meet-up: December 11, at 1:30 p.m. PT/  4:30 p.m. ET.

Hope to see you there. We chat about all topical subjects to dance events and anyone involved in the organization of a dance, or similar, community group is welcome to come and join the discussions. 

All the best, and thank you for the work you do in the community,

Darlene

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darlene Hamilton  
Caller, Dancer, Founder of
The Historical Tea & Dance Society
Historical Balls, Tea Dances, and Historical Dance classes
For more information about events and classes go to
www.historicalteaanddance.org

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