[Organizers] Fwd: discussion about how communities deal with difficult dancers

-------- Original Message -------- Subject: [Callers] A Shadow Swing and New moves for contras... Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:52:55 -0500 From: Linda Leslie <laleslierjg(a)comcast.net> Reply-To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net> To: callers(a)sharedweight.net References: <mailman.1.1201194002.22973.callers(a)sharedweight.net> Greetings! I very much agree with Greg's list of "thoughts about contra dance moves". This is an area that begs for lots of wonderful conversations among callers...we have a responsibility to keep a healthy balance between the traditions, and the evolution of dancing. I encourage one of you to apply for NEFFA 2009 (the schedule for 2008 is all done!), with this as a topic for discussion! And as for shadow swings, three cheers to Chris Weiler for his thoughts! One of the most satisfying venues for me to call is the community dance, where dancers are happy to dance with each other, regardless of skill. There is a recognition of the need to "take care" of one another in order for the joy of the dance to be shared by all, and an understanding that the dancing will continue only if we make sure that new dancers feel welcome. The dance in Rehoboth, MA is probably one of the best community dances that demonstrates this commitment. I, like Chris, when dancing, tend to wait until the last minute, and ask someone I don't know, or who seems shy, to dance. If is works out to be fun, then it is great for both of us; if is was not so pleasurable, thus is life....and after all, a dance is *only* 12 minutes or so! The same can be said for having a shadow that you do not choose: there is the potential serendipity of making a new friend, or the possibility of a less than thrilling experience. I am willing to take the risk! Certainly only one dance in an evening with a shadow swing would be advisable, but not calling any at all also seems to me to be a mistake. I am also reminded of an experience at a very small dance on Cape Cod. A not so skilled dancer (gent) who had trouble hearing the calls, was a fervent attendee at the dance in Sandwich. Because the number of dancers is small (though high in energy!), it was obvious that this gent was left out until the end or entirely, and often would be paired with new dancers. The experienced women got together and decided that they would each take a turn asking him to dance one dance on any given evening. What a marvelous plan! He was as happy as could be, smiling the whole evening, and the dance in general was more enjoyable for all as a consequence. He may not have been on time, or skilled, but the joy from him made everybody feel great! So Jeremy, I would say don't be shy about calling a dance with a shadow swing! warmly, Linda Leslie -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [Callers] Callers Digest, Vol 41, Issue 15 Date: Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:10:05 -0800 From: Martha Wild <mawild(a)sbcglobal.net> Reply-To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net> To: callers(a)sharedweight.net References: <mailman.1.1201280402.46075.callers(a)sharedweight.net> Linda, I enjoyed your post. Years ago we had two dancers at our dance who were terrible dancers, though they had danced for a long time and thought of themselves as experienced dancers, and the combination of that and being avoided by the women who knew them meant they would ask beginners to dance, totally confusing them and causing whole sets to fall apart. Similar to your story, a group of us women got together and decided we would be the "sacrificial squad" and take turns "neutralizing" them when they showed up by asking them to dance before they could ask a beginner. It certainly made the dances go a lot more smoothly and beginners came back more frequently when they felt competent and not confused, so it was worth the sacrifice. I wonder if they ever marveled at why suddenly they were so popular. I wish I could say they became better dancers, but they eventually moved so the squad happily disbanded. Regarding shadow swings - at a dance out of town I ended up with a shadow and we suddenly recognized each other as having been in school together years ago, so that was fun. Part of the mystery of life - sometimes you get a prize, sometimes you don't. Martha -------- Original Message -------- Subject: Re: [Callers] Callers Digest, Vol 41, Issue 15 Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:11:04 -0500 From: Lindsay Morris <lindsay(a)TSMworks.com> Reply-To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net> To: Caller's discussion list <callers(a)sharedweight.net> References: <mailman.1.1201280402.46075.callers(a)sharedweight.net> <7F7DD1A4-7518-41B0-A9B4-EA6DD0DD50DE(a)sbcglobal.net> Interesting. We went a step farther at another dance. A (charming!) older man was slow-moving and hard of hearing, and caused problems. So a "sacrificial squad" of women would, one by one, dance with him and manage him. (He had a great time; we hope he never knew.) But we also had a couple of "angels", men who would follow this progress, and make sure the "lamb" got a great dance immediately after their sacrifice. (We made a point to tell the lambs we appreciated what they were doing.)