Re: [Organizers] uncaring "bad" dancers

a few comments on the already posted comments: some time ago i sat down next to the mentioned example dancer (who responded with a comment to the effect of "here comes the heat") and tried to explain concepts of number of beats to a step, asked if he had trouble hearing the rhythm, how his dancing affects the dancing of those around him, etc. after this his dancing improved somewhat for a few weeks, then back to the original goofing off. this person is not a 'hot shot'. 'hot shots' often do become good dancers, as 'hot shotting' at least shows that they are interested enough to be really good dancers, but are a bit ahead of themselves. this uncaring person simply doesn't know what step is next, which direction to go, because he isn't paying attention. as for people smiling and having fun: without question this is good, and important. but not the sole criteria. in this case, for example, the mentioned person is always grinning; clearly, a well executed dance is not the reason for it. regularly attending, fun loving, smiling people who don't care enough about contra dancing to do it correctly on a basic level are not adding anything positive to the dance, only to themselves. and, in fact, drive away many people who are interested in contra dancing. i'm sure that i will get criticized for this, but i would rather this person stop coming to the dance, then come, having a 'fun' time, and making a less 'fun' time for others. a sense of community and being tolerant of others is good, but it goes both ways. the 'uncaring' dancers are not showing any sense of community/responsibility for the activity that they are participating in. jeffrey > -----Original Message----- > From: organizers-bounces(a)sharedweight.net > [mailto:organizers-bounces@sharedweight.net] On Behalf Of > Stephen Moore > Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2008 11:00 AM > To: A list for dance organizers > Subject: Re: [Organizers] uncaring "bad" dancers > > When I read the post yesterday about the dancers (guys...) > who are late because they're having fun flirting I > immediately thought of one fellow at one of our local dances. > Then Chris writing about a "hot shot" was a very different > picture. The fellow I thought of does this dreamy kind of > doe-eyed dancing/flirting and when I follow him down the set > just about every woman he dances with arrives late, often > because she's having to disentangle herself from his dreamy > allemande or whatever figure. I don't know what can really > be done about that... the power of the dance organizer is > somewhat limited, and besides, I wouldn't want everyone to be > just perfect, because then when I'm in a playful mood (which > is not infrequent) I might have to overly restrain my impulses! > > I remember years ago someone saying to me, "Every woman who > leaves dancing with you has a smile on her face.", which may > or may not be true, but it's stuck with me as a measure of > when a dance is going well... if people are smiling and > laughing, the particulars of how the dance is going really > doesn't make too much difference. > > Stephen Moore > Lenox, MA Contra Dance > On Jan 29, 2008, at 8:14 AM, Chris Weiler wrote: > > >> Hi Jeffrey, >> >> The name that I've been using for this type of dancer is >> > "hot shot". > >> For them it's more about showing off and flourishes than community. >> Having danced for a while now, I'm convinced that most people go >> through this stage before they move on to being more of a community >> dancer. I'm guilty of spending some time dancing like that, too. >> >> My interpretation of the phrase "only here to have fun" leads me to >> think that they are more commenting on feeling pressured >> > and lectured > >> about their dancing. Maybe if they were approached with >> > more positive > >> approach. "I would have enjoyed our dance more if you had >> > been on time > >> for the balance." "It's such a thrill when you help me get to the >> right person in time for the next move." >> >> I'm getting a little humorous, but I think that I'm making my point. >> Make the comments about how we personally experience their >> > actions and > >> not about doing it "wrong" and it could get a whole different >> reaction. >> >> Maybe I'll take some heat for this, but I believe that >> > there are very > >> few "bad" dancers in this world. There are only people who haven't >> practiced enough to learn what good and bad dancing means. It just >> takes some people longer than others to learn the lessons. They >> deserve our patience and some straightforward feedback. >> >> I would love to hear other people's thoughts about this as well. >> >> Chris Weiler >> Goffstown, NH >> >> P.S. You didn't miss any previous posts. I compiled some >> > interesting > >> e-mails from the Caller's list and sent them to this one. >> >> >> >> astro46(a)apricoto.com wrote: >> >>> i've seen a few replies recently talking about dealing >>> > with certain > >>> types of "bad" dancers. (perhaps i am not receiving some >>> > posts, since > >>> i didn't see the originals that were being replied to). i am >>> interested in hearing comments on a particular type of >>> > "bad" dancer. > >>> i am referring to people that can be depended on to be late and/or >>> confused about the next step, but NOT because they suffer >>> > from some > >>> physical infirmity, and NOT because of lack of experience. >>> > they may > >>> have been attending dances for months or years. it is because they >>> seem to be more interested in flirting with partner then in paying >>> attention to the dance. they are the type that if spoken to about >>> their lack of paying attention will excuse themselves by >>> > explaining > >>> that they are "only here to have fun". of course, fun for >>> > them means > >>> less fun for those dancing near them. >>> >>> comments? >>> >>> Jeffrey >>> >>> >>>