6 Mar
2017
6 Mar
'17
7:31 p.m.
Hi everyone,
Lately a new dancer has started coming to our dance and he is bad enough
that he will often make the set break if the dance is moderately
challenging. He seems to have some kind of impairment and walks very
stiffly which means he will often not be on time for a figure and also
often does not remember what is coming next.
We want to be inclusive but at the same time his presence negatively
impacts other dancers in his set and while some of the experienced dancers
will take one for the team and dance with him, it is an unpleasant
experience to be his partner. Unfortunately, we always have many new
dancers and having one couple not be where they should be can really throw
them off in some dances so I feel like I have to push and pull him around
to be on time, despite the fact that it's a little rude.
A recent caller to our dance called him a "speed bump" which was quite
accurate. I'm sure other dances have had experience with similar troubles,
does anyone have advice on how to deal with this so that other dancers
still have a good time yet we are nice to this problematic dancer?
Thank you
Marie
ContraMontreal
6 Mar
6 Mar
8:34 p.m.
As a caller, I try to offer an "off ramp" to an easier version for the
mobility-challenged. (I just say "an easier way to get to the same place
is...).
So, for example, on moves that go once and a half, I remind dancers that
just a half gets you to the same place sooner.
The challenge then is that the people who most need to use this advice,
don't.
A second step might then be a private conversation encouraging him to use
the off-ramps offered by callers. It may help to point out that good
dancers adjust, and often skip bits of choreography or flourishes. It may
be that this would help him frame himself as a good dancer capable of
growth.
Jerome
On Monday, March 6, 2017, Marie-Michèle Fournier via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi everyone,
Lately a new dancer has started coming to our dance and he is bad
enough that he will often make the set break if the dance is moderately
challenging. He seems to have some kind of impairment and walks very
stiffly which means he will often not be on time for a figure and also
often does not remember what is coming next.
We want to be inclusive but at the same time his presence negatively
impacts other dancers in his set and while some of the experienced dancers
will take one for the team and dance with him, it is an unpleasant
experience to be his partner. Unfortunately, we always have many new
dancers and having one couple not be where they should be can really throw
them off in some dances so I feel like I have to push and pull him around
to be on time, despite the fact that it's a little rude.
A recent caller to our dance called him a "speed bump" which was quite
accurate. I'm sure other dances have had experience with similar troubles,
does anyone have advice on how to deal with this so that other dancers
still have a good time yet we are nice to this problematic dancer?
Thank you
Marie
ContraMontreal
--
Jerome Grisanti
660-528-0858
http://www.jeromegrisanti.com
"Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power
and magic in it." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
7 Mar
7 Mar
2:31 a.m.
I am quite astonished -- actually, troubled -- that anyone would have the
insensitivity to refer to another dancer as a "speed bump." I am proud to
relate that I have yet to see any physically challenged dancer at the
several monthly contra dances in my area of southern New Hampshire be
anything less than totally accepted as part of our community. Whether
dancers have had difficulty because of a medical condition, the
after-effects of a car accident, or simply the problem of "two left feet,"
they have in every case that I am aware of been made to feel as comfortable
as possible. The adage I share with every new dancer I cross paths with is
that contra dancers are three things -- welcoming, helpful, and forgiving.
In New Hampshire that applies to everyone, and I have yet to encounter any
exceptions.
Paul Pindris
Deerfield, NH
On Mon, Mar 6, 2017 at 2:31 PM, Marie-Michèle Fournier via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi everyone,
Lately a new dancer has started coming to our dance and he is bad
enough that he will often make the set break if the dance is moderately
challenging. He seems to have some kind of impairment and walks very
stiffly which means he will often not be on time for a figure and also
often does not remember what is coming next.
We want to be inclusive but at the same time his presence negatively
impacts other dancers in his set and while some of the experienced dancers
will take one for the team and dance with him, it is an unpleasant
experience to be his partner. Unfortunately, we always have many new
dancers and having one couple not be where they should be can really throw
them off in some dances so I feel like I have to push and pull him around
to be on time, despite the fact that it's a little rude.
A recent caller to our dance called him a "speed bump" which was quite
accurate. I'm sure other dances have had experience with similar troubles,
does anyone have advice on how to deal with this so that other dancers
still have a good time yet we are nice to this problematic dancer?
Thank you
Marie
ContraMontreal
_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list
Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/organizers-sharedweight.net
5:19 a.m.
Marie,
I've read your note very carefully several times. It seems as if there's
something here that you may not be telling us. You say that "it is an
unpleasant experience" to partner this dancer. However, experienced dancers
dance with unskilled newer dancers all the time. And I suspect that in your
community, as in ours, there are some excellent dancers who pride
themselves on being good partners to newcomers and helping them become
acclimated to the dance. I've also seen dancers over the years acclimate
themselves to dancing with people who have a number of physical or mental
impairments. So I am guessing that there's something about this dancer
beyond the physical impairment that makes him an unpleasant partner. Maybe
one approach would be to try to address that, whatever it is, so that
instead of having an unpleasant dancer with an impairment, you have a
pleasant (or at least unobjectionable) dancer with an impairment.
David
St. Paul, MN
On Mon, Mar 6, 2017 at 1:31 PM, Marie-Michèle Fournier via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi everyone,
Lately a new dancer has started coming to our dance and he is bad
enough that he will often make the set break if the dance is moderately
challenging. He seems to have some kind of impairment and walks very
stiffly which means he will often not be on time for a figure and also
often does not remember what is coming next.
We want to be inclusive but at the same time his presence negatively
impacts other dancers in his set and while some of the experienced dancers
will take one for the team and dance with him, it is an unpleasant
experience to be his partner. Unfortunately, we always have many new
dancers and having one couple not be where they should be can really throw
them off in some dances so I feel like I have to push and pull him around
to be on time, despite the fact that it's a little rude.
A recent caller to our dance called him a "speed bump" which was quite
accurate. I'm sure other dances have had experience with similar troubles,
does anyone have advice on how to deal with this so that other dancers
still have a good time yet we are nice to this problematic dancer?
Thank you
Marie
ContraMontreal
_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list
Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/organizers-sharedweight.net
11:59 a.m.
You are right David, I did not do a very good job of explaining the
problem. He is both confused and slow, which I had previously encountered
mostly separately. But he also seem to resist being led to where he needs
to be, often trying to go somewhere else instead and I don't think he
realizes that he is not doing well and being disruptive to other dancers.
And the bad smell makes everything worse.
On any given night our crowd is about half brand-new or beginners and most
of the beginners we get are fairly young, so we are more used to young
confused dancers, who seem to be easier to lead around. We also don't have
enough experienced dancers to cover him all the time unless he accepts
dancing with men and often times when he dances with other beginners the
set falls appart or comes very close to it.
But we do want to be welcoming, which is why I'm asking the question. I am
still trying to figure out how to gently let him know that he is causing
problems so he'll let us help him and whether we should concentrate our
efforts to dance with him early in the night or later on.
Thank you everyone for your input so far!
Marie
On Tue, Mar 7, 2017 at 12:19 AM, David Kirchner <dekirchner(a)gmail.com>
wrote:
Marie,
I've read your note very carefully several times. It seems as if there's
something here that you may not be telling us. You say that "it is an
unpleasant experience" to partner this dancer. However, experienced dancers
dance with unskilled newer dancers all the time. And I suspect that in your
community, as in ours, there are some excellent dancers who pride
themselves on being good partners to newcomers and helping them become
acclimated to the dance. I've also seen dancers over the years acclimate
themselves to dancing with people who have a number of physical or mental
impairments. So I am guessing that there's something about this dancer
beyond the physical impairment that makes him an unpleasant partner. Maybe
one approach would be to try to address that, whatever it is, so that
instead of having an unpleasant dancer with an impairment, you have a
pleasant (or at least unobjectionable) dancer with an impairment.
David
St. Paul, MN
On Mon, Mar 6, 2017 at 1:31 PM, Marie-Michèle Fournier via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi everyone,
Lately a new dancer has started coming to our dance and he is bad
enough that he will often make the set break if the dance is moderately
challenging. He seems to have some kind of impairment and walks very
stiffly which means he will often not be on time for a figure and also
often does not remember what is coming next.
We want to be inclusive but at the same time his presence negatively
impacts other dancers in his set and while some of the experienced dancers
will take one for the team and dance with him, it is an unpleasant
experience to be his partner. Unfortunately, we always have many new
dancers and having one couple not be where they should be can really throw
them off in some dances so I feel like I have to push and pull him around
to be on time, despite the fact that it's a little rude.
A recent caller to our dance called him a "speed bump" which was quite
accurate. I'm sure other dances have had experience with similar troubles,
does anyone have advice on how to deal with this so that other dancers
still have a good time yet we are nice to this problematic dancer?
Thank you
Marie
ContraMontreal
_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list
Organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net
http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/organizers-sharedweight.net
2847
days inactive
2848
days old
organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
4 comments
4 participants
participants (4)
-
David Kirchner via Organizers -
Jerome Grisanti via Organizers
-
Marie-Michèle Fournier via Organizers
-
Paul Pindris via Organizers