options are and to make sure you protect yourself. I would think the law is different for a public dance compared to a private dance/club. I also suggest that you do a written contract with him so that there is no confusion. I once convinced him to stop a particular behavior. The next week he was doing it again. When I reminded him of our conversation the week before he responded "oh, that was for last weeks dance"

Orin Oy ... > > First thanks to all for their support and information , both on this > list > and off-list .. I will be following up independently with those that > e-mailed me in the next few days . > > Yes it is the same person that caused so much trouble up in the Boston > area... > We are currently working on outreach to any dancers effected ( At least > those that we can contact and are willing to talk to us about this > sensitive issue) > > So now we are on the horns of an ethical dilemma , or many different > but > related ones .. :-( > > Should this person get the same treatment that someone with no history > of > harassing behavior should reasonably expect to receive ? > Should he be "talked to" about his actions and "given a chance to > change" > ? > Should a "stepped" ban be considered ? ( Say ban for two months now , > and > >> "probation" after ? )

Should any consideration be given to our not having had a clearly > written > and posted set of "rules" ? > > Btw we are working on a "policy" now and I have read every dance > organization policy on the subject that I can find . I suspect that > the > object of such rules or policy should be to make the dancers > comfortable ( > new and old ) and provide recourse to the dance community if someone > violates the folkways of the community .. It might be better to > encourage > communication within the more experienced dancers in the community and > get > them to let the new dancers know through words and deeds what is > acceptable > , what is not and how to tell the difference.. > > Thoughts ? > > Rgds Q > > Ps Perry ( our american dance chair ) will be at NEFFA this weekend , > If > anyone has any personal experiences about this problem please let him > know. > > > > > > > > While there are things to be said for having a code of conduct (and my > >> organization does have one), >> having one in place is neither necessary nor sufficient for dealing >> with >> this person. >> >> Is it possible to have a comforting female organizer get in touch with >> some of the "disappeared" women >> and discuss what's happened with them? This may help assure them that >> the organization cares >> about their comfort and safety and that of the dancers who continue, >> and >> will also help to establish >> how far over the boundaries his behaviors have gone, which might also >> help you to decide whether >> the guy needs a talking to and careful watching with banning in >> reserve, >> or just immediate banning. >> (Or whether the women not coming back to contra is all an unfortunate >> coincidence.) >> >> -- Alan >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On 4/21/2014 1:06 PM, Quintin Aspin wrote: >> >> Down here in Baltimore we are having a problem with a dancer who >>> seems to be harassing young ladies , He seems particularly fond of >>> monopolizing their dances if he can , then moves on to sending >>> e-mails and giving small gifts ... Shortly there after these >>> unfortunately targeted newcomers seem to stop coming to the dance ... >>> They do not complain to anyone in charge , they just disappear from >>> the dance community .. >>> >>> It is a situation that I , as president of BFMS , only recently >>> became aware of , but in retrospect it seems to have been happening >>> to some extent since he moved down from the Boston area . >>> If this is a "new" behavior and he is amenable to change I will >>> either talk to him , or suggest the American dance chair has a few >>> words with him ... But if , as I now suspect , he was doing this same >>> behaviors in the Boston area perhaps firmer action might be needed . >>> >>> There was , in fact , a discussion over on the callers list about a >>> dancer in the Boston area that seems eerily reminiscent of the >>> situation here .. >>> >>> If any of the Boston area dance folks know of whom I speak , or if he >>> was banned from any dances up there it would be enormously helpful if >>> you could send me an e-mail with just the first name of the gent in >>> question .... >>> >>> >>>> You can send it to my regular e-mail ( the one I am

this list ) or to be at >>> President ( at ) bfms.org ... >>> >>> A thousand thanks from me and from a lot of dancers who hopefully >>> will not have to find out first hand about which they should be >>> thankful ... >>> >>> Rgds Quintin >>> >>> Ps I have looked at all the contra dance "codes of conduct" I can >>> find and we are having a getting to get one set up here .... >>> Hopefully not shutting the gate after the horse ... etc.. >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Organizers mailing list >>> Organizers(a)sharedweight.net >>> http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/organizers >>> >>> >> _______________________________________________ >> Organizers mailing list >> Organizers(a)sharedweight.net >> http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/organizers >> > >>>

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