Thank yo, Don. I especially liked where you said:
"As to whether he should be treated gently, charitably, and with "forbearance
and tolerance," good luck with that approach."
An organization is OBLIGATED, in my opinion, to protect the community consistant with due
process and the civil rights of the individual offender. Even as efforts to
'rehabilitate' are attempted. The CDU & QCC strived to do that.
Again, thanks, Don, for weighing in!
merry
Merry Kay Shernock
381 VT Rte 12 NO
Northfield, VT 05663
(802)595-3972
On Sunday, April 27, 2014 9:22 PM, Don Peabody <donpeabody(a)aya.yale.edu> wrote:
Tim, et al.--
This is the same dancer, Tim, as Orin confirmed in an earlier email. (Or there's a
heck of a coincidence on name.)
Before I said anymore, I wanted to confirm, with another member of Queen City Contras
(Burlington, Vermont,) my recollections of what happened up here. I've now done that,
and it very much it mirrors what Tim describes happening in Montpelier (and, indeed,
Montpelier's CDU and the QCC were in contact, if not precisely coordinating efforts,
on the matter during that time.)
J. was notified by telephone of complaints by the President of QCC; he was invited to
meet, should he wish to dance with us again, with a two-person delegation of our committee
to discuss the complaints and our expectations for future behavior and conflict
resolution. He "made nice" on the telephone, never showed up at another of our
dances, but did show up--with a partner--at another, non-QCC, dance in Burlington.
As to whether he should be treated gently, charitably, and with "forbearance and
tolerance," good luck with that approach. From Orin's description, J's found
no persuasive reason to reform his behavior despite multiple confrontations concerning
same.
As Tim said for himself: I am also speaking only for myself.
Don Peabody
On Apr 27, 2014, at 8:34 PM, Timothy Swartz wrote:
Orin--
Our contra dance dealt with a very similar situation a few years ago. I
am concerned that this may be the same person, in fact. But regardless of
the person involved, it is important to deal with the problems, as this may
have a very severe impact on the dance community, of course as well as the
individuals involved.
Our volunteer dance-organizing committee had many meetings after we started
getting complaints about the problems created by the individual dancer.
Our basic instincts are to keep our dance open to all, and to allow for
individual differences. However, we also have to recognize that we are a
public institution, and that we are responsible for *all* the dancers. We
can't guarantee that all will have a good time, but we have a
responsibility to keep the behavior of a single person from hurting the
experience of others.
In our experience, the same set of behaviors was repeated: he preyed on
young women, often new-comers to the dance, and his leering and dominating
behavior was so unpleasant that some stopped coming to dances. Thanks to
some who did come and complain to us, as members of the Contra Dance
Umbrella (CDU) organizing community, we finally took some action. This
started with a couple of us talking directly to the problem dancer, and
though we got some level of verbal agreement from him, that he would pay
attention to what the women with whom he was dancing had rights to not be
agressively twirled, and so on. However, none of this made a difference
over the long term.
After we started talking about this among the CDU, some of us wanted to try
to talk further to him, and had phone and in-person conversations. None of
these seemed to have any impact. More importantly, in the long run, it
forced our committee to come up with a policy to deal with "inappropriate
behavior" which I'm attaching to this email. This was largely based on a
policy we found on-line from the Princeton NJ Country Dancers; we do not
claim to be inventing this from whole cloth.
The essence of our policy is that we decided we had to base it on
complaints from others, not from a "set of rules" that we would try to
enforce. We felt it was not possible to define "inappropriate behavior",
even though we all felt we could identify it. Our response is therefore
triggered by complaints, as you will see. It gives some measure of "due
process" to the situation, because of our commitment to fairness, and
wanting to avoid the risk of a false accusation. But it also takes
seriously the *feeling* of discomfort and invasion of personal space that
has such an impact on dancers subjected to inappropriate behavior, and it
spells out some concrete steps we will take after receiving a complaint.
The privacy of the complainant is protected, as is the identity of the
accused person. The policy calls for escalating sanctions if the behavior
continues, up to banning the dancer from the dance. We consulted with our
local (rural) police department during this process, and confirmed that we
do have the right to ask someone to leave, if their behavior is
inappropriate, and to call the police department to remove the person as a
trespasser if the request is not honored. This is not something we want to
have to do! But it is helpful to know that we are on firm legal ground if
we need to call in the troops.
The need to rely on a complaint remains a weakness of this approach, as it
requires someone who is traumatized to come forward. The corollary is that
it is important for committee members to be identifiable, and to make
efforts to publicize the fact that we will take action if someone feels
uncomfortable, to encourage people to come forward. We have made some
serious strides, including wearing buttons at dances which identify us, and
posting pictures of the CDU in the Grange Hall where our dances are held.
Some of us have further ideas, including posting notices in the restrooms
about the recourse available in case of problems. There may be more things
we can and should do.
This experience was still fresh in our minds when the "Puttin' on the
Dance" organizers' conference was held in the fall of 2011, put on by the
CDSS. At that conference, one of the workshops was about just this
problem, led by Chris Weiler. At that workshop, 3 of us from the CDU gave
out copies of this policy, and took part in a long discussion about the
various issues involved--the civil rights of people accused of
"inappropriate behavior" and also the rights of people to come and dance
and feel safe. In the end, I felt quite comfortable with the policy as we
formulated it--with the concerns noted above about having to wait for
complaints. I don't feel we have the perfect answer--but it is
considerably better than having no answer at all, as we did before we were
confronted with the problem dancer. We heard at least a few stories of the
dances which were largely destroyed by the discomfort invoked by a single
problem dancer. We know we are not the only dance community which has had
to deal with this sort of problem, and that the individual with whom we
were dealing is not the only one. We've talked since with many callers
who know many more stories about the problems which can be caused by an
individual, more obvious sometimes from their vantage point than from the
dance floor.
I found the sense of solidarity which I got from talking with other
organizers at the conference an enormous help, as well as the endorsement
of our policy by many of those we spoke with. I encourage others to take
advantage of opportunities like that, and of the interactions available on
this forum, which I found out about as a result of that conference.
The end of the story of our interactions with our particular problem came
when we sent a formal letter, via registered mail to the person involved,
stating that he would be banned if another complaint was received and
substantiated. We sent this from a PO box rented for the purpose, where
the receipt which proved that he got it was received. We have not had the
person show up since. I'm sorry if he has surfaced elsewhere, though I
can't say I'm surprised. Good for you for taking this issue
seriously--it is not easy, but it is necessary. For our committee, it was
a growth experience, making us take our responsibility to heart. Best
wishes to all!
Tim Swartz
(note--these are my individual thoughts, not an official response from the
CDU)
<09-12-16 CDU policy on inappropriate
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