31 Jan
2008
31 Jan
'08
1:46 a.m.
In a message dated 1/30/08 4:33:37 PM, organizers-request(a)sharedweight.net
writes:
So, perhaps I can refocus this thread... what
obligation, and what
means or tools, do organizers have for the truly obnoxious people,
the ones who really make people uncomfortable with their behaviors
(and I mean beyond the dancing, though it can include some dancing
behaviors such as insistently spinning every woman, winding them up
in a mixer, regardless of the woman's clear messages to desist)?
People who show up with what appears to be too much alcohol going on,
or who become loud or aggressive, or who seems to be generally rude.
Hi All,
I have anecdotes and a thought to share, Anecdotes first:
At the Rochester NY dance there was a female-female couple who
encountered some sort of gender-biased nastiness and just stopped coming.
One of the other organizers relayed that they were uncomfortable with the
scene. I asked that they be requested to come back and if it happens again
to let one of the organizers know, and we will promptly tell that person the
behavior is not welcome, and if it appears that it won't stop, then issue a
full refund
to the offender, along with an escort to the door. The couple hasn't yet come
back, so
we don't know who the offender is, and I can't say how effective it is, but
it seems like a tool to use.
We think it was a new person who just didn't understand the nature of the
crowd.
At the same dance 3 years ago, there was a man who was being overly friendly
to one of the ladies - bringing flowers, asking for a date, etc. She told me,
and
I spoke with the then-president, and got approval to explain to the poor guy
that
his advances were making the ladies uncomfortable, that the object of his
desire
is not returning of his feelings, and that the public setting is
inappropriate for
individual flower-giving. I then invited him to the after-dance (where I knew
the
gal would NOT be) as a way of showing him how to make connections AWAY from
the dance floor. That seemed to work. They both meet in line these days,
and nothing outwardly is wrong with the interaction.
Finally the thought: Regarding the incessant twirlers -
Make certain that new dancer ladies get told about that right hand.
If it doesn't go UP, they can't go UNDER, and they are in complete control of
limiting the twirls. That works like a charm - I've seen the guy with a pouty
face after one of the newbies trained like that stiff-armed his attempt, but
he got over it, and the ladies didn't get dizzy - they felt empowered by
being
able to communicate their wishes.
Bob
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