Chris Weiler's Positive Solutions
on dealing with problem dancers, and the CDU Policy
are thoughtful and useful documents.
We have a different problem here.
One woman often complains to board members about men she sees as creepers
or sexual predators. She reports their misbehavior on behalf of their
victims. The victims don't initiate these reports.*
Many others *don't* see these men as creepy or inappropriate. Recently one
of the "victims" clarified that her discomfort with the man was a year ago
and she'd long ago dealt with it to her satisfaction. The man in question
had heard only rumors that some nameless woman was unhappy about some
nameless thing he'd done.
This woman also publicly asked that young women who feel harassed should
talk to her about it. We feel that's the Board's job, not hers.
It seems that this woman is fishing for - or even inventing -
When a married man gets accused of being a sexual predator, his wife has to
wonder if it's true. This adds to any marital tensions they may already
have. So, while this woman is not actually punching anybody in the face,
it seems to me that she's committing violence.
How should we handle this?
- I think we need a "No proxy complaints" policy - i.e., the victim has
to speak up (and then our process will usually fix simple miscommunication
- We need to clearly identify board members, so genuine victims know who
to talk to.
But does anybody have other ideas about preventing one person's issues from
poisoning the atmosphere of a mostly friendly dance?
* I know, victims often have a hard time stepping up and complaining, so
advocacy may be a good thing. But that's a different discussion. In these
situations, there's no victim; there's no predator; there's just an
accusation with little to back it up.
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