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Re: [Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog

by Bree Kalb via Callers

I have been calling this dance for years with the title Foxglove and the author Tom Thoreau. From: frannie via Callers Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2015 1:39 PM To: Maia McCormick Cc: callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net Subject: Re: [Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog That dance is almost Push the Button "by" Rick Mohr except it has Ladies Do si do instead of Allemande. There's also Small Potatoes by Jim Kitch. ~Frannie On Sep 13, 2015 10:30 AM, "Maia McCormick via Callers" <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: Wanted a beginners' dance with a chain but without a star-L progression. Jotted down this one. I find it quite likely that someone has written it before: [untitled], imp. A1: N b&s A2: long lines forward & back ladies chain B1: ladies alle. R 1x P swing B2: circle L 3/4 bal. ring and pass through So a) has this been written? And b) can folks recommend already-written dances that meet my criteria? Cheers, Maia _______________________________________________ Callers mailing list Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _______________________________________________ Callers mailing list Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Ye ole Does This Exist - Mad Robin 2 Hey dance

by Andrea Nettleton via Callers

Well that was weird! Not sure why my last email came through empty. Trying again. Ron et al, In general I really like this dance. That loop right will snag people at least a few times through though, in that it will make them want to gypsy L with the next, continuing the weave, when they need to make it feel like a pass through so their body flow can take them into a R gypsy. It might be worth pointing that out, or teaching them to finish the half hey face N, pass through. Just a thought. Andrea Sent from my iOnlypretendtomultitask > On Sep 14, 2015, at 12:05 PM, Ron Blechner via Callers <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: > > Hi callers, > > I was hoping this dance, or something very similar, might be identified: > > Becket > A1: Gents Alle L 1.5 (8) > 1/2 Hey (8) (NR, LL, PR, GL) > A2: N Gypsy R 1/2 (2)* (to face next N) > Next N Gypsy + Sw (14) > B1: Mad Robin (8)** > 1/2 Hey (8) (GL, PR, LL, NR) > B2: Gents Pass L (2) > P Gypsy + Swing (14) > > * Been debating teaching / calling this as a gypsy or "loop right". I think either works, but ideas welcome. > ** Gents in front, CW > > Thanks, > Ron > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Ye ole Does This Exist - Mad Robin 2 Hey dance

by Ron Blechner via Callers

Perry replied privately, and I agree with his assessment of the gypsy for top of the A2 to make a lot of sense: "I think "loop right" would be better than a "gypsy". People who gypsy tend to linger when your real goal is to get to the next neighbor and swing." On Sep 14, 2015 12:05 PM, "Ron Blechner" <contraron(a)gmail.com> wrote: > Hi callers, > > I was hoping this dance, or something very similar, might be identified: > > Becket > A1: Gents Alle L 1.5 (8) > 1/2 Hey (8) (NR, LL, PR, GL) > A2: N Gypsy R 1/2 (2)* (to face next N) > Next N Gypsy + Sw (14) > B1: Mad Robin (8)** > 1/2 Hey (8) (GL, PR, LL, NR) > B2: Gents Pass L (2) > P Gypsy + Swing (14) > > * Been debating teaching / calling this as a gypsy or "loop right". I > think either works, but ideas welcome. > ** Gents in front, CW > > Thanks, > Ron >

9 years, 3 months

[Callers] Ye ole Does This Exist - Mad Robin 2 Hey dance

by Ron Blechner via Callers

Hi callers, I was hoping this dance, or something very similar, might be identified: Becket A1: Gents Alle L 1.5 (8) 1/2 Hey (8) (NR, LL, PR, GL) A2: N Gypsy R 1/2 (2)* (to face next N) Next N Gypsy + Sw (14) B1: Mad Robin (8)** 1/2 Hey (8) (GL, PR, LL, NR) B2: Gents Pass L (2) P Gypsy + Swing (14) * Been debating teaching / calling this as a gypsy or "loop right". I think either works, but ideas welcome. ** Gents in front, CW Thanks, Ron

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog

by Linda Leslie via Callers

Hi Maia! I don't have this exact dance, but one that is quite similar by Scott Higgs. I have noted it below. I have added a few others, as requested. Cheers! Linda Appetizer,The by Scott Higgs Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- Neighbor Balance and Swing A2 ----------- Long lines forward and back Ladies chain B1 ----------- Same ladies allemande right once Partner swing B2 ----------- Circle left three-quarters Neighbor do si do once and a half Almost Never Too Late by Melanie Axel-Lute Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- (8) Long lines, forward and back (8) Men allemande Left 1-1/2 A2 ----------- (16) Partner balance and swing B1 ----------- (8) Half Promenade across the Set (8) Women's Chain B2 ----------- (8) Women allemande Right once (8) Neighbor swing Heritage Reel by Tony Parkes Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- Neighbor Balance and Swing A2 ----------- Long lines forward and back Gents allemande left once and a half B1 ----------- Partner Balance and Swing B2 ----------- Promenade across Ladies Chain Lavender & Lilac by John Coffman same dance by Bronwyn Woods, titled The Missing Piece Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- (16) Neighbor balance and swing A2 ----------- (8) Men allemande Left 1-1/2 (8) Partner swing B1 ----------- (8) Long lines, forward and back (8) Women's Chain B2 ----------- (8) Balance the ring and twirl to the right (petronella) (8) Balance the ring and twirl to the right (petronella) and a bit more to new N Rounding the Corners by Jim Hemphill Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- (8) Long lines, forward and back (8) Men allemande left 1-1/2 A2 ----------- (16) Partner balance and swing B1 ----------- (8) Half Promenade across the Set (8) Women's Chain B2 ----------- (8) Women allemande Right once (8) Neighbor swing Top of the Stairs by Paul Moore Contra/Improper/Easy A1 ----------- Neighbor do si do Neighbor Swing A2 ----------- Long lines forward and back Ladies allemande right once and a half B1 ----------- Partner Balance and Swing B2 ----------- Circle left (or long lines) Ladies chain On Sep 13, 2015, at 1:27 PM, Maia McCormick via Callers wrote: > Wanted a beginners' dance with a chain but without a star-L > progression. Jotted down this one. I find it quite likely that > someone has written it before: > > [untitled], imp. > A1: N b&s > A2: long lines forward & back > ladies chain > B1: ladies alle. R 1x > P swing > B2: circle L 3/4 > bal. ring and pass through > > So a) has this been written? And b) can folks recommend already- > written dances that meet my criteria? > > Cheers, > Maia > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog

by Perry Shafran via Callers

This looks familiar. Let me go through my box and I will get back to you. Perry Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android From:"Maia McCormick via Callers" <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> Date:Sun, Sep 13, 2015 at 1:31 PM Subject:[Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog Wanted a beginners' dance with a chain but without a star-L progression. Jotted down this one. I find it quite likely that someone has written it before: [untitled], imp. A1: N b&s A2: long lines forward & back ladies chain B1: ladies alle. R 1x P swing B2: circle L 3/4 bal. ring and pass through So a) has this been written? And b) can folks recommend already-written dances that meet my criteria? Cheers, Maia _______________________________________________ Callers mailing list Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog

by frannie via Callers

That dance is almost Push the Button "by" Rick Mohr except it has Ladies Do si do instead of Allemande. There's also Small Potatoes by Jim Kitch. ~Frannie On Sep 13, 2015 10:30 AM, "Maia McCormick via Callers" < callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote: > Wanted a beginners' dance with a chain but without a star-L progression. > Jotted down this one. I find it quite likely that someone has written it > before: > > [untitled], imp. > A1: N b&s > A2: long lines forward & back > ladies chain > B1: ladies alle. R 1x > P swing > B2: circle L 3/4 > bal. ring and pass through > > So a) has this been written? And b) can folks recommend already-written > dances that meet my criteria? > > Cheers, > Maia > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >

9 years, 3 months

[Callers] Does this dance exist? / Beginner dances with chain, without star-L prog

by Maia McCormick via Callers

Wanted a beginners' dance with a chain but without a star-L progression. Jotted down this one. I find it quite likely that someone has written it before: [untitled], imp. A1: N b&s A2: long lines forward & back ladies chain B1: ladies alle. R 1x P swing B2: circle L 3/4 bal. ring and pass through So a) has this been written? And b) can folks recommend already-written dances that meet my criteria? Cheers, Maia

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Problem dancers / Crying Wolf

by Erik Hoffman via Callers

First, sorry for the inadvertent sending of no message. Second, although I agree with Lisa that it's great to have dancers take care of themselves and not call them "victims," and, if a dancer tells me about a specific situation with another dancer, her approach is commendable. But, two things: 1) When there is a dancer -- most commonly the older man seeking to "take over" the training of the new dancer -- there's a problem. This problem is that new dancers has no stake in the dance. If her (or his) enjoyment is reduced, they have no real reason to report it, and a good reason to never come back. OK, they may not be "a victim" though they receive the brunt of a behavior that causes them discomfort. It's not up to them to discourage such activity -- they have an easy way out: "why would I bother going there again?" So, it's up to those of us with a stake in the dance to interrupt such behavior. 2) If there is a regular dancer who's stake isn't so strong, and they don't feel willing or comfortable with direct confrontation, they, too, may just stop coming. So, ultimately it is all of us who need to agree on the range of acceptable behavior and address each incident as needed. It might be totally appropriate to encourage a dancer to stand up for herself (or himself). It might be the best course for organizers to step in and assist a change in behavior. It might be for a caller to teach a styling point. And it's good for we with a large stake in the dance to know how people are feeling, about each other, about the dance, about problems. Listening to both sides is also important. I've mentioned this before, but in the Bay Area (SF) we had a woman once who wrote a letter to the board and had a restraining order against a man she had been involved with. The board sent out a copy of her letter with the note that we call the police if the man decided not to leave a dance when she was present. We got into a lot of hot water because we included her story, and this was prior to checking with the man. Many of us became aware later that the woman had a history of crying wolf, really tried to use the restraining order to hurt the man (like filing a complaint of him being too close as he was driving out of a parking lot into which she was pulling in -- their cars passed within the 50 ft limit...). We learned to inform our managers that when a restraining order incident comes up, call the police and don't take sides, and to listen to both sides of a case, and not send out one person's testimony... ~erik hoffman oakland, ca On 9/10/2015 11:14 AM, Lindsay Morris via Callers wrote: > Great point, thanks Lisa. > > On Thursday, September 10, 2015, Lisa Greenleaf via Callers > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > <mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: > > Hi Everyone- > > I am cringing every time I read the word victim. VIctim implies > powerlessness, so why not use the word dancer and encourage > self-empowerment? > > Sometimes dancers approach me because I am an official organizer, > and other times friends of the person approach me because they > know I might be able to help. My first question around complaints > is always, “Did you talk with the person whose behavior bothered > you?” And then I model an “I” statement for them: “I don’t like > that,” “I don’t feel comfortable dancing with you because I don’t > like to be twirled,” etc. > > Of course, most people find it difficult to talk directly to the > person disturbing them, but it’s still worth encouraging, > especially if you show them how to do it. You are teaching them a > real-world skill that they can use outside of the dance. > > When a dancer approaches me with a complaint, I don’t see them as > a victim who needs rescuing. For one thing, I don’t know the > real situation until I have heard both sides of the story. Yes, > the situation may expand to a larger problem, but even then I > don’t change “dancer” (or more specifically, the name of the > person) to “victim.” > > Lisa > > > > On Sep 9, 2015, at 8:02 PM, Yoyo Zhou via Callers > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > > > > Taking you at face value: if you have a systemic problem, you need a > > policy. If you have a problem with one person, you need to come to > > terms with that person. I'm not sure if it's just the board, or if > > other dancers also have issues with her. But if you seek mediation, > > take notes on your interactions so you have evidence to back > yourself > > up. > > > > > > Now, I think the last thing you need is a policy requiring > victims to > > speak up. It's counterproductive to making a safe dance space. > (Let's > > discuss that on the other thread.) > > > > Let's say I'm new to your dance and I have a bad experience with > > someone. What do I do? I might complain about it to my friends who > > convinced me to come. I might just avoid that person. I might > just go > > home dissatisfied. One of the last things I might do is complain to > > the management (and I might view that woman as an extension > thereof), > > because who knows if they'll just shrug it off and not take me > > seriously? > > > > > > Also, you wrote, "it seems to me that she's committing > violence." No, > > I disagree. This totally cheapens the meaning of "violence". What > > words do you use for when punches are actually thrown? (It's > happened > > at a dance here.) > > > > Yoyo Zhou > > > > On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 7:42 AM, Ron Blechner via Callers > > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >> Maybe. Maybe not. My point was that we should be very, very > careful about > >> making a definitive statement about something being "just an > accusation", > >> especially when in your example, there was a second problem - > even if it was > >> a year earlier. > >> > >> On Sep 9, 2015 10:39 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" > >> <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>> > >>> Appreciate that. Don't think the "where there's smoke there's > fire" issue > >>> applies here, though. It would if there were several > different women > >>> complaining about one man... > >>> > >>> -------------------- > >>> Lindsay Morris > >>> CEO, TSMworks > >>> Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > >>> lindsay(a)tsmworks.com <javascript:;> > >>> > >>> On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Ron Blechner > <contraron(a)gmail.com <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>>> > >>>> Hi Lindsay, > >>>> > >>>> I realize this is a tricky topic, so apologies in advance if > my brevity > >>>> comes off as bruskness. > >>>> > >>>> These two suggestions work for Amherst Contra. > >>>> > >>>> As a proxy complaint comes in, a board member would seek out > the source. > >>>> Anonymous complaints are permitted, and a high level of > ensuring that we ask > >>>> open-ended questions, and not leading questions. > >>>> > >>>> We also wear board member buttons at dances and make regular > >>>> announcements about us being available for any reason. > Usually 4-7 members > >>>> of our board attend any dance. > >>>> > >>>> You might speak privately to Will Loving, our lead organizer, > if you're > >>>> interested in more specifics. > >>>> > >>>> I would also caution about making such definitive statements > as "just an > >>>> accusation". In my experience, where there's smoke, there's > fire. For every > >>>> accusation, there's five people who are too uncomfortable to > speak up. > >>>> > >>>> That said, I have seen the success of proactive addressing of > issues. The > >>>> biggest benefit is simple: > >>>> > >>>> Address it early when it's small, and not a huge deal. Maybe > it's a > >>>> simple misunderstanding. Maybe the person needed a clear > boundary drawn. But > >>>> wait until there's a pile of complaints, and you've already > lost dancers and > >>>> the resolution will need to be more severe for the offender. > >>>> > >>>> Best regards, > >>>> Ron Blechner > >>>> > >>>> On Sep 9, 2015 10:08 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" > >>>> <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>>>> > >>>>> Chris Weiler's Positive Solutions on dealing with problem > dancers, and > >>>>> the CDU Policy are thoughtful and useful documents. > >>>>> > >>>>> We have a different problem here. > >>>>> > >>>>> One woman often complains to board members about men she sees as > >>>>> creepers or sexual predators. She reports their misbehavior > on behalf of > >>>>> their victims. The victims don't initiate these reports.* > >>>>> > >>>>> Many others don't see these men as creepy or inappropriate. > Recently > >>>>> one of the "victims" clarified that her discomfort with the > man was a year > >>>>> ago and she'd long ago dealt with it to her satisfaction. > The man in > >>>>> question had heard only rumors that some nameless woman was > unhappy about > >>>>> some nameless thing he'd done. > >>>>> > >>>>> This woman also publicly asked that young women who feel > harassed should > >>>>> talk to her about it. We feel that's the Board's job, not hers. > >>>>> > >>>>> It seems that this woman is fishing for - or even inventing - > >>>>> "naughty-dancer" problems. > >>>>> > >>>>> When a married man gets accused of being a sexual predator, > his wife has > >>>>> to wonder if it's true. This adds to any marital tensions > they may already > >>>>> have. So, while this woman is not actually punching anybody > in the face, it > >>>>> seems to me that she's committing violence. > >>>>> > >>>>> How should we handle this? > >>>>> > >>>>> I think we need a "No proxy complaints" policy - i.e., the > victim has to > >>>>> speak up (and then our process will usually fix simple > miscommunication > >>>>> issues). > >>>>> We need to clearly identify board members, so genuine > victims know who > >>>>> to talk to. > >>>>> > >>>>> But does anybody have other ideas about preventing one > person's issues > >>>>> from poisoning the atmosphere of a mostly friendly dance? > >>>>> > >>>>> ____ > >>>>> * I know, victims often have a hard time stepping up and > complaining, so > >>>>> advocacy may be a good thing. But that's a different > discussion. In these > >>>>> situations, there's no victim; there's no predator; there's > just an > >>>>> accusation with little to back it up. > >>>>> > >>>>> _______________________________________________ > >>>>> Callers mailing list > >>>>> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >>>>> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >>>>> > >>> > >>> > >>> _______________________________________________ > >>> Callers mailing list > >>> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >>> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >>> > >> > >> _______________________________________________ > >> Callers mailing list > >> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >> http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >> > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > > Lisa > > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > > > > -- > -------------------- > Lindsay Morris > CEO, TSMworks > Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > lindsay(a)tsmworks.com <mailto:lindsay@tsmworks.com> > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

9 years, 3 months

Re: [Callers] Problem dancers / Crying Wolf

by Erik Hoffman via Callers

On 9/10/2015 11:14 AM, Lindsay Morris via Callers wrote: > Great point, thanks Lisa. > > On Thursday, September 10, 2015, Lisa Greenleaf via Callers > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > <mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net>> wrote: > > Hi Everyone- > > I am cringing every time I read the word victim. VIctim implies > powerlessness, so why not use the word dancer and encourage > self-empowerment? > > Sometimes dancers approach me because I am an official organizer, > and other times friends of the person approach me because they > know I might be able to help. My first question around complaints > is always, “Did you talk with the person whose behavior bothered > you?” And then I model an “I” statement for them: “I don’t like > that,” “I don’t feel comfortable dancing with you because I don’t > like to be twirled,” etc. > > Of course, most people find it difficult to talk directly to the > person disturbing them, but it’s still worth encouraging, > especially if you show them how to do it. You are teaching them a > real-world skill that they can use outside of the dance. > > When a dancer approaches me with a complaint, I don’t see them as > a victim who needs rescuing. For one thing, I don’t know the > real situation until I have heard both sides of the story. Yes, > the situation may expand to a larger problem, but even then I > don’t change “dancer” (or more specifically, the name of the > person) to “victim.” > > Lisa > > > > On Sep 9, 2015, at 8:02 PM, Yoyo Zhou via Callers > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > > > > Taking you at face value: if you have a systemic problem, you need a > > policy. If you have a problem with one person, you need to come to > > terms with that person. I'm not sure if it's just the board, or if > > other dancers also have issues with her. But if you seek mediation, > > take notes on your interactions so you have evidence to back > yourself > > up. > > > > > > Now, I think the last thing you need is a policy requiring > victims to > > speak up. It's counterproductive to making a safe dance space. > (Let's > > discuss that on the other thread.) > > > > Let's say I'm new to your dance and I have a bad experience with > > someone. What do I do? I might complain about it to my friends who > > convinced me to come. I might just avoid that person. I might > just go > > home dissatisfied. One of the last things I might do is complain to > > the management (and I might view that woman as an extension > thereof), > > because who knows if they'll just shrug it off and not take me > > seriously? > > > > > > Also, you wrote, "it seems to me that she's committing > violence." No, > > I disagree. This totally cheapens the meaning of "violence". What > > words do you use for when punches are actually thrown? (It's > happened > > at a dance here.) > > > > Yoyo Zhou > > > > On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 7:42 AM, Ron Blechner via Callers > > <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >> Maybe. Maybe not. My point was that we should be very, very > careful about > >> making a definitive statement about something being "just an > accusation", > >> especially when in your example, there was a second problem - > even if it was > >> a year earlier. > >> > >> On Sep 9, 2015 10:39 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" > >> <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>> > >>> Appreciate that. Don't think the "where there's smoke there's > fire" issue > >>> applies here, though. It would if there were several > different women > >>> complaining about one man... > >>> > >>> -------------------- > >>> Lindsay Morris > >>> CEO, TSMworks > >>> Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > >>> lindsay(a)tsmworks.com <javascript:;> > >>> > >>> On Wed, Sep 9, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Ron Blechner > <contraron(a)gmail.com <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>>> > >>>> Hi Lindsay, > >>>> > >>>> I realize this is a tricky topic, so apologies in advance if > my brevity > >>>> comes off as bruskness. > >>>> > >>>> These two suggestions work for Amherst Contra. > >>>> > >>>> As a proxy complaint comes in, a board member would seek out > the source. > >>>> Anonymous complaints are permitted, and a high level of > ensuring that we ask > >>>> open-ended questions, and not leading questions. > >>>> > >>>> We also wear board member buttons at dances and make regular > >>>> announcements about us being available for any reason. > Usually 4-7 members > >>>> of our board attend any dance. > >>>> > >>>> You might speak privately to Will Loving, our lead organizer, > if you're > >>>> interested in more specifics. > >>>> > >>>> I would also caution about making such definitive statements > as "just an > >>>> accusation". In my experience, where there's smoke, there's > fire. For every > >>>> accusation, there's five people who are too uncomfortable to > speak up. > >>>> > >>>> That said, I have seen the success of proactive addressing of > issues. The > >>>> biggest benefit is simple: > >>>> > >>>> Address it early when it's small, and not a huge deal. Maybe > it's a > >>>> simple misunderstanding. Maybe the person needed a clear > boundary drawn. But > >>>> wait until there's a pile of complaints, and you've already > lost dancers and > >>>> the resolution will need to be more severe for the offender. > >>>> > >>>> Best regards, > >>>> Ron Blechner > >>>> > >>>> On Sep 9, 2015 10:08 AM, "Lindsay Morris via Callers" > >>>> <callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;>> wrote: > >>>>> > >>>>> Chris Weiler's Positive Solutions on dealing with problem > dancers, and > >>>>> the CDU Policy are thoughtful and useful documents. > >>>>> > >>>>> We have a different problem here. > >>>>> > >>>>> One woman often complains to board members about men she sees as > >>>>> creepers or sexual predators. She reports their misbehavior > on behalf of > >>>>> their victims. The victims don't initiate these reports.* > >>>>> > >>>>> Many others don't see these men as creepy or inappropriate. > Recently > >>>>> one of the "victims" clarified that her discomfort with the > man was a year > >>>>> ago and she'd long ago dealt with it to her satisfaction. > The man in > >>>>> question had heard only rumors that some nameless woman was > unhappy about > >>>>> some nameless thing he'd done. > >>>>> > >>>>> This woman also publicly asked that young women who feel > harassed should > >>>>> talk to her about it. We feel that's the Board's job, not hers. > >>>>> > >>>>> It seems that this woman is fishing for - or even inventing - > >>>>> "naughty-dancer" problems. > >>>>> > >>>>> When a married man gets accused of being a sexual predator, > his wife has > >>>>> to wonder if it's true. This adds to any marital tensions > they may already > >>>>> have. So, while this woman is not actually punching anybody > in the face, it > >>>>> seems to me that she's committing violence. > >>>>> > >>>>> How should we handle this? > >>>>> > >>>>> I think we need a "No proxy complaints" policy - i.e., the > victim has to > >>>>> speak up (and then our process will usually fix simple > miscommunication > >>>>> issues). > >>>>> We need to clearly identify board members, so genuine > victims know who > >>>>> to talk to. > >>>>> > >>>>> But does anybody have other ideas about preventing one > person's issues > >>>>> from poisoning the atmosphere of a mostly friendly dance? > >>>>> > >>>>> ____ > >>>>> * I know, victims often have a hard time stepping up and > complaining, so > >>>>> advocacy may be a good thing. But that's a different > discussion. In these > >>>>> situations, there's no victim; there's no predator; there's > just an > >>>>> accusation with little to back it up. > >>>>> > >>>>> _______________________________________________ > >>>>> Callers mailing list > >>>>> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >>>>> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >>>>> > >>> > >>> > >>> _______________________________________________ > >>> Callers mailing list > >>> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >>> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >>> > >> > >> _______________________________________________ > >> Callers mailing list > >> Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > >> http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > >> > > _______________________________________________ > > Callers mailing list > > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > > Lisa > > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net <javascript:;> > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net > > > > -- > -------------------- > Lindsay Morris > CEO, TSMworks > Tel. 1-859-539-9900 > lindsay(a)tsmworks.com <mailto:lindsay@tsmworks.com> > > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)lists.sharedweight.net > http://lists.sharedweight.net/listinfo.cgi/callers-sharedweight.net

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