[Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

[Bob Green]

I employ and teach the method that Angela suggests... but not always. I am
old school enough that I may sit a dance after a refusal of an offer...but
then I rarely refuse an offer to dance unless I really do need a rest or I
have some other obligation.  I think George Marshall's presentation in the
video of his beginner's class is worth considering. This issue is addressed
a little after the 11 minute mark:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nxFdcaKWA

Bob Green
St. Louis

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On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 2:24 PM, Angela DeCarlis via Callers <
callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> I think the story you tell is a great reason why the older etiquette of
> having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't
> want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their
> business.
>
> As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are both
> perfectly acceptable answers if someone asks you to dance. I also point out
> that if someone declines your offer to dance, too never take it personally.
>
> To clarify, however, being rude is still totally unacceptable! My mom was
> turned down for a dance recently with the line, "no, sorry; I'm *very*
> particular with who I dance with!" Nope! Don't be that guy!
>
> On Dec 16, 2017 3:11 PM, "Alexandra Deis-Lauby via Callers" <
> callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great
>> detail in terms of historical practice.
>>
>> http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <
>> callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the
>> rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very
>> competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late
>> 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he
>> doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance
>> with this guy then I have to sit one out.  Oh crap, guess I'll have to
>> dance with him."  For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful
>> dancer.
>>
>> To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been
>> replaced, and what has it been replaced with?  In your dance community, do
>> you have a written statement of the etiquette around this?  Our community's
>> statement doesn't directly address this issue.
>>
>> Kalia
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