<div dir="ltr"><div><div>I employ and teach the method that Angela suggests... but not always. I am old school enough that I may sit a dance after a refusal of an offer...but then I rarely refuse an offer to dance unless I really do need a rest or I have some other obligation. I think George Marshall's presentation in the video of his beginner's class is worth considering. This issue is addressed a little after the 11 minute mark: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nxFdcaKWA">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14nxFdcaKWA</a><br><br></div>Bob Green<br></div>St. Louis<br></div><div id="DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2"><br>
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</table><a href="#DAB4FAD8-2DD7-40BB-A1B8-4E2AA1F9FDF2" width="1" height="1"></a></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sat, Dec 16, 2017 at 2:24 PM, Angela DeCarlis via Callers <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net" target="_blank">callers@lists.sharedweight.net</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="auto">I think the story you tell is a great reason why the older etiquette of having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their business. <div dir="auto"><br></div><div dir="auto">As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are both perfectly acceptable answers if someone asks you to dance. I also point out that if someone declines your offer to dance, too never take it personally. </div><div dir="auto"><br></div><div dir="auto">To clarify, however, being rude is still totally unacceptable! My mom was turned down for a dance recently with the line, "no, sorry; I'm *very* particular with who I dance with!" Nope! Don't be that guy! </div></div><div class="HOEnZb"><div class="h5"><div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Dec 16, 2017 3:11 PM, "Alexandra Deis-Lauby via Callers" <<a href="mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net" target="_blank">callers@lists.sharedweight.<wbr>net</a>> wrote:<br type="attribution"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div dir="auto">This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great detail in terms of historical practice. <div><br></div><div><a href="http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/" target="_blank">http://cdny.org/what-is-contra<wbr>/contra-etiquette/</a><br><br><div id="m_5857935219475204587m_-5578219397914730121AppleMailSignature">Sent from my iPhone</div><div><br>On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <<a href="mailto:callers@lists.sharedweight.net" target="_blank">callers@lists.sharedweight.ne<wbr>t</a>> wrote:<br><br></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><span>Hi all,</span><br><span></span><br><span>Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance with this guy then I have to sit one out. Oh crap, guess I'll have to dance with him." For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful dancer.</span><br><span></span><br><span>To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been replaced, and what has it been replaced with? In your dance community, do you have a written statement of the etiquette around this? Our community's statement doesn't directly address this issue.</span><br><span></span><br><span>Kalia</span><br><span>______________________________<wbr>_________________</span><br><span>List Name: Callers mailing list</span><br><span>List Address: <a href="mailto:Callers@lists.sharedweight.net" target="_blank">Callers@lists.sharedweight.ne<wbr>t</a></span><br><span>Archives: <a href="https://www.mail-archive.com/callers@lists.sharedweight.net/" target="_blank">https://www.mail-archive.com/<wbr>callers@lists.sharedweight.net<wbr>/</a></span><br></div></blockquote></div></div><br>______________________________<wbr>_________________<br>
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