[Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

[Angela DeCarlis]

I think the story you tell is a great reason why the older etiquette of
having to sit out is silly and outdated -- I'd rather someone who doesn't
want to dance with me just say "no thank you!" And continue about their
business.

As a caller, I teach that "yes, thank you!" and "no, thank you!" are both
perfectly acceptable answers if someone asks you to dance. I also point out
that if someone declines your offer to dance, too never take it personally.

To clarify, however, being rude is still totally unacceptable! My mom was
turned down for a dance recently with the line, "no, sorry; I'm *very*
particular with who I dance with!" Nope! Don't be that guy!

On Dec 16, 2017 3:11 PM, "Alexandra Deis-Lauby via Callers" <
callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great
> detail in terms of historical practice.
>
> http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <
> callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
>
> Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the
> rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very
> competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late
> 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he
> doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance
> with this guy then I have to sit one out.  Oh crap, guess I'll have to
> dance with him."  For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful
> dancer.
>
> To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been
> replaced, and what has it been replaced with?  In your dance community, do
> you have a written statement of the etiquette around this?  Our community's
> statement doesn't directly address this issue.
>
> Kalia
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