Dana,
Thank you. Well said and I am sharing with my very conservative board.
I think they need a wake up call, forgive me but "either shit or get off
the pot". If we really want our dance to continue we need to address this.
I hope for a better tomorrow for all of us no matter the walk we choose.
Blessings,
Mary "from Buffalo" not.
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning
to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 11:21 AM Dana Dwinell-Yardley via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi all,
I'm going to explore this intersection of gender-free role terms +
welcoming new dancers + growing community a little bit. [And by "a little
bit" I actually mean a "a long soapbox about important stuff," so hang on
for the ride.]
I'm a genderqueer / gender nonconforming person, and a huge part of my
folk community includes transgender, nonbinary, and other gender
nonconforming folks. If you haven't been paying much attention to the news,
let me tell you: The political and social climate around gender and
sexuality in the United States right now is *terrifying* for LGBTQ+ folks.
Twenty-three states introduced laws in 2022 that infringe or attack the
basic rights of transgender and queer people, and more than 13 of those
bills have become law. There is a ton of hatred, fear, and violence being
directed toward the queer and trans community, especially youth, even in
liberal states like Vermont (where I live).
All this is to say — it's a hard and scary time to be a queer person.
And our dance communities have the potential to be places of radical
inclusion, expansiveness, safety, and welcome in a violent world that seeks
to deny us our basic right to exist.
- When a dance uses gender-free terms, that is a step toward that
radical inclusion.
- When dancers are comfortable and happy to dance with any person in
any role, that's another step. (For example, if you've got a lot of men who
show obvious discomfort at swinging anyone who's not a woman, the dancing
is likely to feel icky and unsafe to trans & nonbinary folks or anyone
swapping roles, regardless of terms used.)
- When we take the time to explain our dance culture as well as the
basic moves, that's another step.
- When we offer nametags with a place to write in pronouns, that's
another step.
- When we offer a sliding scale to make our dance accessible to
folks of all income levels, that's another step.
- When people can see themselves reflected in the organizing
committee members (i.e. diversity of age, gender, class background, race,
etc), in a way that's actually sharing the work and not tokenizing people,
that's another step.
- When long-time dancers ask newcomers to dance in a friendly but
not pushy way, and we normalize saying no as well as saying yes, that's
another step.
- When we normalize giving and receiving feedback about the way our
dancing affects others, that's another step. (i.e. "hey, will you grab my
hand less tightly? that hurts." "oh! thanks for telling me! is that
better?)
- When we are transparent about why we're doing what we're doing
(i.e. our values, like Julian suggested), that's another step. When I get
up to give announcements, for example, I thank people for helping to make
the dance welcoming and inclusive, and I speak about our sliding scale, our
name buttons, our role terms, and wearing masks all as pathways to a more
inclusive and welcoming space, as ways that we care for one another.
- (Right now, I am still inclined to think that wearing masks is
another way that we create spaces of radical inclusion and safety,
especially for folks at higher risk for COVID, but that's a whole other
kettle of fish.)
On the flip side: If a dance uses gendered role terms, or when
organizers say things like "ugh I don't like Robins & Larks," or
"I don't
want to push the issue," what I hear is:
"we don't care about you,"
"we don't think transgender or nonbinary people exist," or
"you're causing problems for us just by being yourself."
OUCH.
I would gently offer that there is no such thing as a non-political
space. Everything is political, even though you may not have noticed
because the politics weren't affecting you and you were comfortable because
the current setup worked for you. This is a country where people are
actively passing laws that harm transgender and queer people. Choosing NOT
to do something is also a political act.
We set our dance culture together. People will notice the vibes more
than you think. Let's keep striving toward spaces that are deeply
welcoming, growthful, and joyful for everyone! This is part of why I am
called to keep organizing dances: because I can see the power in creating a
community that exists a little bit outside of space and time for a moment,
a community where we get to see the kind of joy, connection, collaboration,
and care that we dream of for society at large. What a delightful, magical
thing.
Yours in building joyful, inclusive dance community,
Dana
Montpelier, VT
On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 8:53 AM Julian Blechner via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Lots of good suggestions from a lot of people.
I think I can boil down success keeping new dancers to:
1. Listen to youth, put then on your committee, and implement their
suggestions.
2. Have a written values statement, which all of your other policies
follow.
3. Make it clear you want to hear from dancers with compliments or
complaints. And actually deal with complaints. Over and over, the biggest
reason I hear people not returning (other than just not liking the dance
form) is unhandled and ignored complaints.
In dance,
Julian Blechner
On Wed, Mar 15, 2023, 8:10 AM Chrissy Fowler via Organizers <
organizers(a)lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> *“Getting back to the subject of repeat visitors, perhaps the biggest
> difference of all is a caller who brings the fun and the inclusiveness, the
> type who can laugh with you when something goes goofy. (… . ) I'm
> tremendously grateful to everyone organizing contra dances, and to all the
> people trying to make their dance a little bit better each week.*
> *Lex Spoon”*
>
> Hear, hear!
>
> (And I think it’s also the organizers who can bring that fun and
> inclusiveness and set the tone for embracing the goofiness.) Let’s face it,
> even though some folks forget and take it all a bit too seriously, these
> dances we love are *incredibly* weird. Beautifully so, but definitely
> on the silly side of joy.
>
> I’m also grateful for all you folks sharing ideas and experiences
> openly and nonjudgmentally. What a gift!
>
> Chrissy Fowler
> Belfast Maine
> *Where we are digging out from the latest nor’easter (ah the joys of
> finally getting winter weather in March)*
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--
Dana Dwinell-Yardley
pronouns: she/her/hers
802-505-6639
Montpelier, Vermont
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