Sure, happy for anyone to forward and distribute. I added my extra soap bubble into my original text and pasted it below: feel free to send this version around.

Thanks for the kind words.

Dana

==

Hi all,

I'm going to explore this intersection of gender-free role terms + welcoming new dancers + growing community a little bit. [And by "a little bit" I actually mean a "a long soapbox about important stuff," so hang on for the ride.]

I'm a genderqueer / gender nonconforming person, and a huge part of my folk community includes transgender, nonbinary, and other gender nonconforming folks. If you haven't been paying much attention to the news, let me tell you: The political and social climate around gender and sexuality in the United States right now is *terrifying* for LGBTQ+ folks. Twenty-three states introduced laws in 2022 that infringe or attack the basic rights of transgender and queer people, and more than 13 of those bills have become law. There is a ton of hatred, fear, and violence being directed toward the queer and trans community, especially youth, even in liberal states like Vermont (where I live).

All this is to say — it's a hard and scary time to be a queer person. And our dance communities have the potential to be places of radical inclusion, expansiveness, safety, and welcome in a violent world that seeks to deny us our basic right to exist.

• When a dance uses gender-free terms, that is a step toward that radical inclusion.
• When dancers are comfortable and happy to dance with any person in any role, that's another step. (For example, if you've got a lot of men who show obvious discomfort at swinging anyone who's not a woman, the dancing is likely to feel icky and unsafe to trans & nonbinary folks or anyone swapping roles, regardless of terms used.)
• When we take the time to explain our dance culture as well as the basic moves, that's another step.
• When we offer nametags with a place to write in pronouns, that's another step.
• When we offer a sliding scale to make our dance accessible to folks of all income levels, that's another step.
• When people can see themselves reflected in the organizing committee members (i.e. diversity of age, gender, class background, race, etc), in a way that's actually sharing the work and not tokenizing people, that's another step.
• When long-time dancers ask newcomers to dance in a friendly but not pushy way, and we normalize saying no as well as saying yes, that's another step.
• When we normalize giving and receiving feedback about the way our dancing affects others, that's another step. (i.e. "hey, will you grab my hand less tightly? that hurts." "oh! thanks for telling me! is that better?)
• When we are kind, patient, and supportive of each other while we learn new things, that's another step. Whether it's learning how to balance and swing, or learning how to use new pronouns for someone, it's gonna be awkward at first! That's how learning works! We'll just keep practicing together.
• When we are transparent about why we're doing what we're doing (i.e. our values, like Julian suggested), that's another step. When I get up to give announcements, for example, I thank people for helping to make the dance welcoming and inclusive, and I speak about our sliding scale, our name buttons, our role terms, and wearing masks all as pathways to a more inclusive and welcoming space, as ways that we care for one another.
• (Right now, I am still inclined to think that wearing masks is another way that we create spaces of radical inclusion and safety, especially for folks at higher risk for COVID, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.)

On the flip side: If a dance uses gendered role terms, or when organizers say things like "ugh I don't like Robins & Larks," or "I don't want to push the issue," what I hear is:
"we don't care about you,"
"we don't think transgender or nonbinary people exist," or
"you're causing problems for us just by being yourself."
OUCH.

I would gently offer that there is no such thing as a non-political space. Everything is political, even though you may not have noticed because you were comfortable and the current setup worked for you. This is a country where people are actively passing laws that harm transgender and queer people. Choosing NOT to do something is also a political act.

We set our dance culture together. People will notice the vibes more than you think. Let's keep striving toward spaces that are deeply welcoming, growthful, and joyful for everyone! This is part of why I am called to keep organizing dances: because I can see the power in creating a community that exists a little bit outside of space and time for a moment, a community where we get to see the kind of joy, connection, collaboration, and care that we dream of for society at large. What a delightful, magical thing.

Yours in building joyful, inclusive dance community,
Dana Dwinell-Yardley
Montpelier, VT
danadwya@gmail.com

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 2:24 PM Joe Harrington <contradancerjoe@gmail.com> wrote:

Dana, this was so clearly articulated and beautifully written!  Would you give permission for people to forward and post it publicly?  I feel it important to ask, as we want this to be a safe place, even if the archives are searchable.

--jh--

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 12:23 PM Dana Dwinell-Yardley via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

One more soap bubble for the soap box!

We also take a step toward inclusion when we are kind, patient, and supportive of each other while we learn new things: whether that's learning how to balance and swing, or learning how to use new pronouns for someone. It's gonna be awkward at first! That's how learning works! We'll just keep practicing and improving together.

Dana

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023, 12:02 PM Mary Collins <nativedae@gmail.com> wrote:

Dana,

Thank you.  Well said and I am sharing with my very conservative board.  I think they need a wake up call, forgive me but "either shit or get off the pot".  If we really want our dance to continue we need to address this.

I hope for a better tomorrow for all of us no matter the walk we choose.

Blessings,

Mary "from Buffalo" not.

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche

“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 11:21 AM Dana Dwinell-Yardley via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Hi all,

I'm going to explore this intersection of gender-free role terms + welcoming new dancers + growing community a little bit. [And by "a little bit" I actually mean a "a long soapbox about important stuff," so hang on for the ride.]

I'm a genderqueer / gender nonconforming person, and a huge part of my folk community includes transgender, nonbinary, and other gender nonconforming folks. If you haven't been paying much attention to the news, let me tell you: The political and social climate around gender and sexuality in the United States right now is *terrifying* for LGBTQ+ folks. Twenty-three states introduced laws in 2022 that infringe or attack the basic rights of transgender and queer people, and more than 13 of those bills have become law. There is a ton of hatred, fear, and violence being directed toward the queer and trans community, especially youth, even in liberal states like Vermont (where I live). 

All this is to say — it's a hard and scary time to be a queer person. And our dance communities have the potential to be places of radical inclusion, expansiveness, safety, and welcome in a violent world that seeks to deny us our basic right to exist. 

• When a dance uses gender-free terms, that is a step toward that radical inclusion. 
• When dancers are comfortable and happy to dance with any person in any role, that's another step. (For example, if you've got a lot of men who show obvious discomfort at swinging anyone who's not a woman, the dancing is likely to feel icky and unsafe to trans & nonbinary folks or anyone swapping roles, regardless of terms used.) 
• When we take the time to explain our dance culture as well as the basic moves, that's another step. 
• When we offer nametags with a place to write in pronouns, that's another step. 
• When we offer a sliding scale to make our dance accessible to folks of all income levels, that's another step.
• When people can see themselves reflected in the organizing committee members (i.e. diversity of age, gender, class background, race, etc), in a way that's actually sharing the work and not tokenizing people, that's another step.
• When long-time dancers ask newcomers to dance in a friendly but not pushy way, and we normalize saying no as well as saying yes, that's another step.
• When we normalize giving and receiving feedback about the way our dancing affects others, that's another step. (i.e. "hey, will you grab my hand less tightly? that hurts." "oh! thanks for telling me! is that better?)
• When we are transparent about why we're doing what we're doing (i.e. our values, like Julian suggested), that's another step. When I get up to give announcements, for example, I thank people for helping to make the dance welcoming and inclusive, and I speak about our sliding scale, our name buttons, our role terms, and wearing masks all as pathways to a more inclusive and welcoming space, as ways that we care for one another.
• (Right now, I am still inclined to think that wearing masks is another way that we create spaces of radical inclusion and safety, especially for folks at higher risk for COVID, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.)

On the flip side: If a dance uses gendered role terms, or when organizers say things like "ugh I don't like Robins & Larks," or "I don't want to push the issue," what I hear is:

"we don't care about you," 

"we don't think transgender or nonbinary people exist," or 

"you're causing problems for us just by being yourself." 

OUCH. 

I would gently offer that there is no such thing as a non-political space. Everything is political, even though you may not have noticed because the politics weren't affecting you and you were comfortable because the current setup worked for you. This is a country where people are actively passing laws that harm transgender and queer people. Choosing NOT to do something is also a political act. 

We set our dance culture together. People will notice the vibes more than you think. Let's keep striving toward spaces that are deeply welcoming, growthful, and joyful for everyone! This is part of why I am called to keep organizing dances: because I can see the power in creating a community that exists a little bit outside of space and time for a moment, a community where we get to see the kind of joy, connection, collaboration, and care that we dream of for society at large. What a delightful, magical thing.

Yours in building joyful, inclusive dance community,

Dana

Montpelier, VT

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 8:53 AM Julian Blechner via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Lots of good suggestions from a lot of people.

I think I can boil down success keeping new dancers to:

1. Listen to youth, put then on your committee, and implement their suggestions.

2. Have a written values statement, which all of your other policies follow.

3. Make it clear you want to hear from dancers with compliments or complaints. And actually deal with complaints. Over and over, the biggest reason I hear people not returning (other than just not liking the dance form) is unhandled and ignored complaints.

In dance,

Julian Blechner

On Wed, Mar 15, 2023, 8:10 AM Chrissy Fowler via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

“Getting back to the subject of repeat visitors, perhaps the biggest difference of all is a caller who brings the fun and the inclusiveness, the type who can laugh with you when something goes goofy.  (…  . ) I'm tremendously grateful to everyone organizing contra dances, and to all the people trying to make their dance a little bit better each week.

Lex Spoon”

Hear, hear!  

(And I think it’s also the organizers who can bring that fun and inclusiveness and set the tone for embracing the goofiness.) Let’s face it, even though some folks forget and take it all a bit too seriously, these dances we love are incredibly weird. Beautifully so, but definitely on the silly side of joy.

I’m also grateful for all you folks sharing ideas and experiences openly and nonjudgmentally. What a gift!

Chrissy Fowler 

Belfast Maine

Where we are digging out from the latest nor’easter (ah the joys of finally getting winter weather in March)

_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list -- organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
To unsubscribe send an email to organizers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net

_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list -- organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
To unsubscribe send an email to organizers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net

--

Dana Dwinell-Yardley

pronouns: she/her/hers

802-505-6639

Montpelier, Vermont

_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list -- organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
To unsubscribe send an email to organizers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net

_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list -- organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
To unsubscribe send an email to organizers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net

--

Dana Dwinell-Yardley

pronouns: she/her/hers

802-505-6639

Montpelier, Vermont

_______________________________________________
Organizers mailing list -- organizers@lists.sharedweight.net
To unsubscribe send an email to organizers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net