That's exactly where we are in Lawrence, KS.  We are leaving it up to callers to choose. Some of us would like to do gender free or at least know it's here so we might as well embrace it.  I wish we had better terms instead of Larks and Robins.  Those words just don't lend themselves to an easy transition from Ladies and Gents.  They aren't even typically said in the same sequence.  Technically it should be Robins and Larks.  I suggested to one caller to just use both esp if dancers seem confused.  That seemed to work well and communicates that we appreciate both viewpoints.  There are several people in our community who do not want to change from the traditional terms.  Some argue that the words don't matter and we have always embraced men in skirts for instance.  I can see their point and I don't want to change if it means we alienate a whole other group.  So for right now we are not pushing it and figure things will eventually change with time.  There are so many things changing in the world and I think it's better for us to not be insistent about this.  Besides, I'm hoping someone will come up with better terms.

On Tue, Mar 14, 2023 at 9:46 PM Joe Harrington <contradancerjoe@gmail.com> wrote:
> what does striving for gender free dancing without being gender free mean?

A number of dances nearby are in this category, so I'll answer.  The organizers, or some of them, and/or callers would like the dance to be gender-free, and maybe some of the dancers would, as well.  The organizers are concerned that at least a significant number of dancers will not like it, and they may have some justifications for those concerns (e.g., many dancers told them).  They're nibbling at the edges, talking up the idea, maybe having occasional gender-free dances, thinking of starting a gender-free series as an alternative to the regular one or alternating gendered and gender-free dances or leaving it to the caller to decide (one caller called this throwing the caller under the bus!).  They're not quite ready to eliminate all gendered dances and declare it on their website, but they're moving in that direction.

...Perhaps slowly.  At least one group down here (Florida) tried gender-free and went back to gendered.  Orlando is still the only gender-free in the state, as far as I know.  Give them time...

--jh--



On Tue, Mar 14, 2023 at 11:35 AM Jeff Kaufman via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Hi Mary,

I'm still confused -- what does striving for gender free dancing without being gender free mean?  Is it that you use "gents" and "ladies" but emphasize that anyone can dance any role?

Jeff

On Tue, Mar 14, 2023 at 7:51 AM Mary Collins via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Alexander- oops...while we are not specifically gender free, we strive for it in a very very conservative group of older dancers.  I am scheduled to meet with our web person soon and will adress verbage. Thanks for this info.

On Mon, Mar 13, 2023, 4:34 PM Alexandra Deis-Lauby <adeislauby@gmail.com> wrote:
Mary,  

Is the Buffalo dance gender free?  The website tells callers to use gents and ladies. If the dance is in fact gender free, then the website needs updating.  If you are advertising the dance as gender free but use gents and ladies, that would certainly not encourage me to return if I were a new dancer. 



On Mar 13, 2023, at 3:54 PM, Mary Collins via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Watching this as we have the same issue. We are (I believe) the 2nd largest city in NYS and have the most pitiful turnout.  

I think you have some good ideas here.  

One comment: we often or even always speak about our dance not only gender free, no partner necessary to bring, but also as no lessons needed, each dance being taught and "walked through".  Then we advertise "the lesson" b4 the dance. If words matter (and I think we agree they do) the this is a huge contradiction.

I say to people these sets of words & phrasing: easy, walking to music, Only 8 steps, no need to bring partner but a friend is fun, dances are taught, practiced (stole from country line dance & swing) and then they are prompted once the music starts. We offer basic move instruction rather than lesson.

I don't really know if these changes help, hinder or have no effect. I only know that not having a friend anchor for the first few dances would have resulted in my not coming back. The lesson too. But that's just my perception.

We give out "get in free" cards and encourage ppl to share theirs with a friend. I also encourage people who say "I told my friends...", to next dance offer to pick them up or meet b4 and come together.

We also encourage experienced dancers to partner with new dancers.

I am anxious to hear other's ideas.

Mary "from Buffalo", not.


On Mon, Mar 13, 2023, 12:49 PM Sandy Seiler via Organizers <organizers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
Newbies are not returning my thoughts...
Why? not feeling welcome?, feeling intimidated/too hard?  Coming late to lesson and being lost/confused during dance?  Lack of feeling of mastery/learning?  Need follow up lesson since we only dance 1x/month?  One month is a long time to wait for another lesson.  Not enough younger dancers like themselves?
Ideas:
1. Use beginner friendly buttons
2. Ask experienced dancers to dance with beginners for first 2 dances at least.  Board members lead by example.
3. Encourage experienced dancers to come for the beginner lesson to welcome/socialize with new dancers.
4. Have caller or one of us give out free passes (pass for next dance) at the lesson so we don't have to remember to do it at the table.  We gave out 15 free passes to new dancers in Feb and did not get any to return in March. (March dance was on 2nd sat instead of our normal 3rd sat and it's spring break.  Feb attendance 61, March 38 (paid dancers, not including 3 listeners).  Also there was a local magazine article about LBDA in February and we had our most experienced and popular contra dance band (Kaw Creek) playing.
5. Our Lesson is at 7:00, Dance 7:30.  Should we use start time 7:00 in advertising bc experienced dancers will figure it out and adjust to coming at 7:30 more easily than new people knowing they need to come at 7:00 for the lesson.  New people attending and being on time for 7:00 lesson is important for a smooth dance so do we need to advertise that way?  Want experienced dancers to be there to meet and socialize with them so they can be better integrated into the community and not feel so awkward.  I have suggested this to our board before, but was told that would be manipulative toward experienced dancers who would be upset that they came too early and wasted their time.  That feels like a very unwelcoming attitude, and I would like to encourage all our dancers to consider that 7:00 is our start time because beginners are important and we need to be there to greet them and socialize.
6. Schedule a 1 hour lesson or series of lessons led by experienced callers Lisa and or Jill and a couple new callers... before the dance?  On a different day?  Through Parks and Rec this summer?
7. New dancers are far outnumbering experienced dancers.  Need to do advanced dance to pull back in some dancers who drifted away after the pandemic.  Contact individually by phone/email?

And then getting younger people to attend is a whole other but strongly related topic we need to address more effectively.  We are not getting enough young people at dances.  It appears to me that when a young person comes they often decide to not return because there aren't enough people in their age group. 
 
Please tell me if you like/encourage these ideas I have come up with so far and add others.
Especially I want to know how to get new people to come on time for the lesson. 
Is it ok to advertise dance for 7:00 even though first 30 minutes is lesson?  It's frustrating for our callers and then they don't get a full lesson which is not good for anyone.


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