Thanks Steve, for your thoughtful post. It really resonated with me.
Lately I've been repeating something that a local dancer and friend brought up, namely that we're all taking care of each other on the dance floor. (Or at least that's an ideal.) Which connects to your point about gracefully adapting your own style to everyone
you meet. I sent your post on to the rest of our board. Such nourishing food for heart and mind!
I find myself regularly mentioning that there are many paths to swing nirvana (or to dance nirvana in general).
I also exhort people to pay attention (to one's partner, but also in general).
Several years back, our series featured a "tip of the month" at every dance. We made a poster each time, and we also spent some time introducing it at the dance, partway through the first half. Sometimes with a demo. My recollection is that the Tip of the
Month was inspired by BIDA signage, but I really can't say for sure. We were definitely trying to raise the overall "level" of dancing. Our organizing team spent considerable time discussing and coming up with all sorts of tips. Later, we were asked to contribute
them to the DownEast Friends of the Folk Arts (DEFFA) newsletter. This thread reminded me of those tips, so I found the file. Bit dusty, but entertaining. And still relevant to our series. Could be it's time for us to bring those tips out of storage, freshen
them up a bit, and share them with our current dance regulars. I've attached a pdf for everyone's amusement. (My personal favorite is the Wayne Gretzky analogy - our hall often resembled a mosh pit full of NFL hockey players and I brandished a hockey stick
and wore a Bruins jersey when we introduced that one. EF Shumacher contra dancing in the afterlife is a close second.)
But if I were making new tips, I'd add something about grace.
And taking care of each other.
I’ve been reading these posts about how partners should hold each other and I think a central point is missing. My comments are really towards the active dancing experience, no so much
a single topic workshop.
Grace.
Grace needs to be the central idea when we dance, and especially in a teaching opportunity like a workshop.
A good dancer dances with some grace, which for me means that she/he dances in a way to fit the other person, to be comfortable with the other person. As experienced dancers, I bet everyone of us can pretty accurately read a dancer as we get closer
for the first time and do the right thing. And bam! A good swing happens. There are just so many variables that having a standard rule just doesn’t seem feasible to me. Or even necessary.
I dance with lots of different people. I make a practice every month to do several dances with first time dancers, or folks who are new to our hall, and I love doing it. I do it so that they’ll have a good experience and want to come back. And
it is always easy to find at least one nice thing to say about how they’re dancing versus just pointing out corrections. I wouldn’t line up with a new dancer and say, “Now, THIS is how you hold each other for THESE reasons.” (I do hear other guys try to recite
a manual to beginning dancers.) What I do is take them in arms by seeing where they go first, and maybe doing that. And then as the dance progresses I might make adjustments so they’re comfortable, the communication happens, etc. It really isn’t that difficult
to find that spot, and I don’t want to get them into a position where it’s clear they’re not comfortable. Good dancers just simply pay attention and make it good, and not worry about enforcing some preconceived notions. And the beginning dancer adapts, and
then hopefully the next person down the line reads her and then makes it good again.
And these things even out. Not unlike a walk through that’s confusing, but then when the music begins the dance just flows. In my experience beginning dancers are so much more comfortable even by the second half of the evening (which they might
stick around for if people have been kind and graceful with them during the first half.)
The other thing that makes this conversation curious is there are no beginning dancers reading this thread. I would bet there are no difficult dancers reading this thread, or clampers, or arm-wrestling allemanders. If the purpose of this is to
make the dance experience good for everyone, with a special focus on new dancers, then we’re not really getting closer to that objective by trying to describe with great accuracy the perfect hold. I’m 5’10”, she’s 4’ 11”… no wait, my next neighbor is 6’2”
and pretty seriously outweighs me; hold on, here comes one of my favorite, regular partners and she likes to move in close and swing fast; next one really likes the forearm hold; some ladies are delighted by the basket where we both have our hands on the backs
of each other (great, strong hold); I also like to two hands swings if there’s room.
I’m know that we do need to be aware of ways of dancing that are not safe, are not comfortable, and find ways to communicate that. But doing that isn’t helped by getting out the recent edition of
Popular Mechanics for Dancers, but rather with gentle suggestions that encourages safer, more pleasant connectedness with their opposite.
Grace- So my interest is in the other person having a great time not only with the swing, but with a prompting for the progression if that’s a good idea, or moving her back to where she needs to be right now, or with a joke, or moving in a surprising
way if that makes her smile and laugh. And I need all that kind of fun helpfulness from time-to-time myself!
Grace can be taught if it’s a central part of the conversation. If you raise awareness of it.
I think you all get my point, and it clearly makes me an outlier to this conversation, so I’ll now step away!
Stephen Moore
Lenox Contra Dance,
Lenox, MA