Hello folks
I'd just like to second what Ron said. We keep hearing about how organisers would like to "get Young People in", but then express disdain for the things we care about, such as avoiding offensive language.
The idea that we should be allowed to say whatever we want when calling as long as we don't intend any disrespect seems naive at best. For example, I might want to say something like "This is so f---ing cool!" when I'm calling, and intend no disrespect by it. But I still wouldn't say it, because some people *would* feel disrespected by my using that language over the microphone, even if that's not my intention, and I care about them. To say that only your intentions matter is to say that you either don't recognise, or don't care, that other people may have different feelings about certain words or turns of phrase than you do. And some words have a history which cannot be ignored and remains relevant no matter what your intentions. (unless you are Humpty-Dumpty)
"Political correctness" is what people call it when they have to treat others with respect, and they don't want to. A good trick is to go through and mentally replace the words "political correctness" with "treating people with respect". It helps make it clear what people are really saying.
And as to your actual point Colin, I disagree. Our inner thoughts and feelings towards groups of people matter, like you say. Our outward behaviour matters. And our choice of language matters. Words absolutely can cause significant pain. And the fact is that just because a word may not start off poisoned by racism (or some other form of contempt) doesn't mean that it can ever become unpoisoned again. Say a glass of water is fine to start with and then someone defecates in it. You can't just scoop the turd out and call the water clean again. Sure, changing our choice of words is treating the symptom not the cause. But if I was suffering from a painful illness where the cause couldn't be dealt with straightaway, I would definitely want the symptoms to be treated in the meantime!
I notice that a lot of people express resentment about being asked to change their choice of words for others. If those people find out that they can get away without making a change, they are positively gleeful, as though they have won a victory. Expressing resentment at being asked to change your choice of words, glee when you can get away without doing so -- there is no surer way to express your contempt for the feelings and opinions of others. When you are in the position of being an old white male, with good standing in the community -- and in this community some callers are positively revered to the point where many act as though they can do no wrong -- it must be easy to believe that no one but yourself matters. Consider, though, whether this attitude is really good for a community long term.
Jen