Claire, 

A dear friend, neighbor, long time dancer, and volunteer passed in November. This was not a sudden death, but many people lost contact during the pandemic, and those who've returned (in our community ) are largely younger, and might not know this person. 

When she was sick I put out messages to the local dance groups to let folks know how they could help. There's only so much we can do to get the word out, and some will just not hear before what feels like a sudden public announcement.

I put out more messages about the memorial gathering and again some folks didn't hear, didn't get to the gathering, and were sad about that, too. This was not a caller, band member, or prominent person, so I don't think there were announcements made at the dances. 

At any rate, I think it's really hard to reach everyone before a very public announcement. I can't think how best to  get the word out. I tried to let people know one-on-one, but I don't see everyone. I'm interested in hearing what others might have to say about this.

-Amy

On Wed, May 8, 2024, 10:19 AM Claire Takemori via Contra Callers <contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
 Hello dear callers.

I have a question about when a caller brings up a recent passing during a public dance.

When Kim Yerton passed, I heard about it the day before and grieved.  The next day the caller dedicated a dance to her and I almost had to leave the dance.  Left the line to get away from listening to the words about Kim.  I realize this is my own reaction and sensitivity. 

Wondering what y’all say on mic about a recent passing and dedication, as it could be a surprise to some dancers?

At a recent ECD weekend, the caller dedicated a dance to Christine Robb and said to dance it with appreciation and joy as that is what she would’ve wanted instead of grief and sorrow. 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Claire Takemori (Asheville NC)

> On May 8, 2024, at 1:00 AM, contracallers-request@lists.sharedweight.net wrote:
>
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> Today's Topics:
>
>   1. Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Greenleaf)
>   2. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Mary Collins)
>   3. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Angela DeCarlis)
>   4. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Lisa Greenleaf)
>   5. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Andrew Stout)
>   6. Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024 (Luke Donforth)
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message: 1
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 13:26:02 -0400
> From: Greenleaf <laleaf@gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID: <C8230451-0C50-4187-9911-786FD26405F0@gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;       charset=utf-8
>
> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his side. He will be missed.
>
> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true treasure.
>
> Lisa Greenleaf
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 2
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 14:00:35 -0400
> From: Mary Collins <nativedae@gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Greenleaf <laleaf@gmail.com>
> Cc: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID:
>       <CAB0qS-zEJJOfuc8-D=A4ucoBCkMH1RVHu5uBaUWoCqRoRH=KPQ@mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
>       boundary="000000000000f5d6830617e0f7e5"
>
> Lisa,
>
> Thanks for sharing this.  I am calling Friday and will certainly add a Tony
> aspect to the evening.  His insights, support & dance writing will be
> sorely missed.
>
> Mary Collins
>
> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
>
> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning
> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
>
>
> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his side.
>> He will be missed.
>>
>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth
>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were
>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true
>> treasure.
>>
>> Lisa Greenleaf
>> _______________________________________________
>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>
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> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 3
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 18:05:57 -0400
> From: Angela DeCarlis <aedecarlis@gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Mary Collins <nativedae@gmail.com>
> Cc: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID:
>       <CA+h6_Bb-uk_54uNO=aRmk14WkZhZbT=s+YtGPkvo07XWEc+bKg@mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
>       boundary="000000000000a904130617e464b3"
>
> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony better
> than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely lovely.
>
> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of
> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites?
>
> Best,
> Angela
>
> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers <
> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> Lisa,
>>
>> Thanks for sharing this.  I am calling Friday and will certainly add a
>> Tony aspect to the evening.  His insights, support & dance writing will be
>> sorely missed.
>>
>> Mary Collins
>>
>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
>>
>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning
>> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
>>
>>
>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his
>>> side. He will be missed.
>>>
>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth
>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were
>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true
>>> treasure.
>>>
>>> Lisa Greenleaf
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>
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> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 4
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 18:18:12 -0400
> From: Lisa Greenleaf <laleaf@gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Angela DeCarlis <aedecarlis@gmail.com>
> Cc: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID:
>       <CAB5KRQkozo0gy6UV_LO2jRKzTturmdn5xMa_BmAhBcYevYk4Nw@mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
>       boundary="000000000000734e1a0617e49067"
>
> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an
> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early
> spring.
>
> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his
> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support.
> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks.
>
> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance.
> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull
> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances.
>
> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas.
>
> Lisa
>
> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <aedecarlis@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony better
>> than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely lovely.
>>
>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of
>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites?
>>
>> Best,
>> Angela
>>
>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers <
>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Lisa,
>>>
>>> Thanks for sharing this.  I am calling Friday and will certainly add a
>>> Tony aspect to the evening.  His insights, support & dance writing will be
>>> sorely missed.
>>>
>>> Mary Collins
>>>
>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
>>>
>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about learning
>>> to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
>>>
>>>
>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his
>>>> side. He will be missed.
>>>>
>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth
>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were
>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true
>>>> treasure.
>>>>
>>>> Lisa Greenleaf
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>
>>
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>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 5
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 20:08:07 -0400
> From: Andrew Stout <andrew@andrewstout.net>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Lisa Greenleaf <laleaf@gmail.com>
> Cc: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID:
>       <CAFSt3VQL+ckB1RgN+qKe6uWU5pcQVHW6sYWQHJS1YeQMnK=nCA@mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
>       boundary="00000000000080bccd0617e619aa"
>
> I wasn't able to be at NEFFA for the tribute, but I called a week and a
> half ago and said a few words about Tony. I called May Day Mixer, Monday
> Night Fever, and Shadrack's Delight.
>
> --Andrew
>
> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:18 PM Lisa Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an
>> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early
>> spring.
>>
>> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his
>> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support.
>> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks.
>>
>> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance.
>> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull
>> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances.
>>
>> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas.
>>
>> Lisa
>>
>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <aedecarlis@gmail.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony
>>> better than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely
>>> lovely.
>>>
>>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of
>>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites?
>>>
>>> Best,
>>> Angela
>>>
>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers <
>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Lisa,
>>>>
>>>> Thanks for sharing this.  I am calling Friday and will certainly add a
>>>> Tony aspect to the evening.  His insights, support & dance writing will be
>>>> sorely missed.
>>>>
>>>> Mary Collins
>>>>
>>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
>>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
>>>>
>>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about
>>>> learning to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
>>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his
>>>>> side. He will be missed.
>>>>>
>>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth
>>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were
>>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true
>>>>> treasure.
>>>>>
>>>>> Lisa Greenleaf
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>
> -------------- next part --------------
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>
> ------------------------------
>
> Message: 6
> Date: Tue, 7 May 2024 23:51:21 -0400
> From: Luke Donforth <luke.donev@gmail.com>
> Subject: [Callers] Re: Tony Parkes 1949-2024
> To: Andrew Stout <andrew@andrewstout.net>
> Cc: Trad Callers <tradcallers@lists.sharedweight.net>,
>       callers@sharedweight.net
> Message-ID:
>       <CAFrKOZbbzaTsXSWcfW2o6B859LrOFd4Jzh5WvYtScMdtMXBXDg@mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
>       boundary="000000000000e354730617e937a2"
>
> Will definitely be missed. Thanks for letting us know. Condolences to his
> family and the community.
>
> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 8:08 PM Andrew Stout via Contra Callers <
> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
>> I wasn't able to be at NEFFA for the tribute, but I called a week and a
>> half ago and said a few words about Tony. I called May Day Mixer, Monday
>> Night Fever, and Shadrack's Delight.
>>
>> --Andrew
>>
>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:18 PM Lisa Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Tony was diagnosed with a stage 4 glio blastoma late last fall. He did an
>>> initial round of chemo and radiation before entering hospice in early
>>> spring.
>>>
>>> He was never in pain, and indeed, he and Beth were able to let his
>>> community know what was going on, so he received lots of love and support.
>>> He had many visitors and messages these last few weeks.
>>>
>>> Tony was the first to incorporate a square through into a contra dance.
>>> Friday Night Fever initially had just one balance, followed by four pull
>>> bys, but it is now widely danced with the two partner balances.
>>>
>>> Check out Callers Box database for more ideas.
>>>
>>> Lisa
>>>
>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 6:06 PM Angela DeCarlis <aedecarlis@gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Thank you Lisa for sharing. Sending love out to those who knew Tony
>>>> better than I did — the few interactions I had with him were entirely
>>>> lovely.
>>>>
>>>> Like Mary, I'm also calling a dance on Friday. I'd love to call one of
>>>> Tony's dances — what are y'all's favorites?
>>>>
>>>> Best,
>>>> Angela
>>>>
>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM Mary Collins via Contra Callers <
>>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Lisa,
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks for sharing this.  I am calling Friday and will certainly add a
>>>>> Tony aspect to the evening.  His insights, support & dance writing will be
>>>>> sorely missed.
>>>>>
>>>>> Mary Collins
>>>>>
>>>>> "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who
>>>>> couldn't hear the music." - Nietzsche
>>>>>
>>>>> “Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... it's about
>>>>> learning to dance in the rain!” ~ unknown
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> On Tue, May 7, 2024 at 1:27 PM Greenleaf via Contra Callers <
>>>>> contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> Caller Tony Parkes passed away yesterday with his wife, Beth, at his
>>>>>> side. He will be missed.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> At the lovely Tony Parkes tribute at this year’s Neffa Festival, Beth
>>>>>> spoke of how Tony was touched and surprised that so many people were
>>>>>> telling him about his impact on their lives. Well, yes, Tony! He was a true
>>>>>> treasure.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Lisa Greenleaf
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>>>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>>> To unsubscribe send an email to
>>> contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Contra Callers mailing list -- contracallers@lists.sharedweight.net
>> To unsubscribe send an email to contracallers-leave@lists.sharedweight.net
>>
>
>
> --
> Luke Donforth
> Luke.Donforth@gmail.com <Luke.Donev@gmail.com>
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>
> Subject: Digest Footer
>
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>
> ------------------------------
>
> End of Contra Callers Digest, Vol 118, Issue 3
> **********************************************

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