Longer response:

I really REALLY don’t think that there should be any announcement calling attention to the fact that the next dance has interaction with someone other than your chosen partner. What, are we supposed to say “This is a duple improper single progression with a shadow who is the same active or inactive role one place below [or above] where you line up”?

Or should we say “Thank this partner, and ask another partner for the next dance. As you line up, if there is someone at the dance here tonight with whom you don’t want to dance, please make sure that they are in a different longways set than you, or that if they are in the same long set as you that they are not in an adjacent hands-four from you either up or down as you line up for the dance.”

Are we dance choreographers supposed to create dance sequences that don’t have any “serious” interaction with the shadow partner, just in case the dancers happen to line up such that someone on the floor has an “Ex” as a shadow partner? Or someone who hasn’t showered recently enough?

We already have the problem of MUC rejection of any dance that doesn’t include both partner swing and neighbor swing; this seems to be an injection of a problem of a potential swing with a neighbor some dancers might not want to swing with, yet such swings are still required.

I’m confused…

Yes, I understand the many reasons for not having serious shadow interactions, but I am proud that every local dance community where I’ve been a member, from NH/Boston to CA/SF, has understood that interpersonal conflicts will happen, and yet social interactions are required. They understand how to make everyone work together. Family schisms are inevitable. Personal hygiene issues may arise.

I hope that everyone eventually can live the philosophy on Jeremiah’s T-shirt: “Dance With Who’s Comin’ Atcha!"

Even long-time couples break up. It’s painful to the people involved and also to everyone surrounding. We’re all Community here. Our Community is larger and more long-lived than the simple “nuclear family” of two parents and 2.3 children. That means we get to “enjoy” many various kinds of family ties, both genetic and non-genetic. The Community connection carries us all through this specific break-up episode. The Dance entertains us and it heals us and it strengthens The Community.

I say this with a VERY PERSONAL involvement in this community support.

Yes, we DO see what’s going on. Yes, we DO love both of you, even if you’ve split apart, and even if there is a court restraining order about you both showing up at our dance on the same night (that’s a different discussion, and yes, it does happen).

If there’s a personal hygiene problem, sometimes it simply can not be helped. I myself could change shirts whenever the band changes tunes and it still would not be often enough. In such a case, please enjoy fresh pheromones; fresh sweat can be enjoyable sweat. If it’s stale sweat, then by all means tell the person that a shower with soap would make him/her a more enjoyable dance partner. That’s a quiet face-to-face conversation.

BUT please dance for several seconds, smile, and move on.

All that aside, any swing can be changed to an allemande right once or twice (to taste), or an elbow swing, or a do-si-do, or a gypsy (with varying amounts of eye contact, again to taste). Experienced dancers, especially a split dancer couple who encounter each other in line, will do whatever they feel comfortable with. What a GREAT opportunity to swap roles with your partner, given a little look-ahead! (“Oh! that’s my Ex ahead; let’s swap!” or just take hands with the palm-up signal that you’re taking the “Gent” role next time) Painless and fun.

Never mind that experienced dancers often rewrite the dance to change a non-swing dance move into a swing, even in the middle of a hey; it’s just as easy to go the other direction, to reduce interaction. That’s what dancers do. Just Be In The Right Place At The Right Time.

We always say that a neighbor interaction is “just one time through the tune, just 30 seconds”. Well, a shadow interaction is generally at most one 8-count thing; 4 seconds repeated every once in a while as wonderful music plays. Maybe double that for some dances, so then about 8 seconds out of every half minute or so.

It seems to me that we as social animals should be able to deal with that.

Certainly we do this in our daily lives on the street/office/garage/whatever. We can be civil and even develop the ability to enjoy a 10-second interaction with an ex we encounter in a public event.

One of the things I love about contra dance is that it gives us all an opportunity to “be” the persona we live the rest of the time, or “be” someone else during The Dance. We’re wearing a costume while we’re dancing, even if it’s not obvious. Many of our dancers have an on-the-floor personality which is quite different from the personality they exhibit the rest of the time (such as while talking and enjoying refreshments at the break during the evening dance). Certainly I wear a different persona on the dance floor than when I am at the break, and I’m someone else if I’m calling, and someone else if I’m the dance organizer.

THEN there’s the issue of identifying which of the various people “near” you as you line up might be your shadow/TrailBuddy. In a Becket dance it’s likely to be your neighbor to the side in line, or could be next beyond them, or the neighbor to the other side, or maybe the next beyond them. I TRULY advise against spending too much effort in identifying the “Corner/TrailBuddy” in advance, as the dancers are lined up. In a duple improper, your shadow could be ahead, could be behind. It depends on the choreography. And it changes if someone drops out, or if someone joins in after the walkthrough.

That’s not the place to spend your precious seconds at the mic as a caller. Get them moving and listening to the music.

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We already have the problem of MUC [Modern Urban Contra] rejection of any dance that doesn’t include both partner swing and neighbor swing; this seems to be an injection of a problem of a potential swing with a neighbor some dancers might not want to swing with, yet such swings are still required.

I’m confused...

-Eric