This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great detail in terms of historical practice. 

http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/

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On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Hi all,

Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance with this guy then I have to sit one out.  Oh crap, guess I'll have to dance with him."  For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful dancer.

To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been replaced, and what has it been replaced with?  In your dance community, do you have a written statement of the etiquette around this?  Our community's statement doesn't directly address this issue.

Kalia
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