My friend Ron Blechner wrote a wonderful piece a few years ago about "lead" and "follow" as being how one can dance whichever role in contra you are dancing.  I commend it to your attention.  It's tangentially related, but that's not really what you were asking about.  

A few thoughts on that:

Any lead offered from one dancer to another should be just that -- an offer -- and not a command.  It shouldn't be so forceful that it can't be refused.  Additionally, the person leading the flourish should be ready for the person to refuse (or not to respond) and be ready to continue with whatever courtesy turn  or completion of a swing would have normally been expected.  

I believe that the response to any lead can be one of three (or possibly more) response: "Yes!", "No!" and "What was that??!" and that if you get either of the latter two responses those should be taken as a "no" and the one leading that move should continue on with whatever the default version of that move might be.  

So, how do you ask that "question"?  

• You can just ask verbally.  A long time dancer in our local community will, when he encounters me in the line dancing the lady's / right side role, ask me "Twirling today?"  And we've been dancing in the same community for approaching 20 years now.  I have had others ask as we start swinging if I am ok being dipped.  (The answer is almost always yes, but occasionally it's not, and it only takes a second.)
• A lot of swing exits / flourishes, can be "pre-led".  There is some part of the lead that you can start just a couple of counts before you would actually do it.  This can be a way of asking that question.  It also allows your partner to be ready to change which direction they're going, and generally to use much less force in the lead.  A few examples....  Starting to bring the joined hands in a swing up just a bit a few counts before the twirl would happen, or bringing the "gent's" left hand to the "lady's" shoulder, and then using very light pressure on the back of the "lady's" left shoulder and the front of her right to cue the twirl out of the swing.  
  
• We will frequently say in the newcomers lesson that a sign of an offered twirl is for the twirling person's partner to lift their joined hands (either the "pointy end" hands in a swing or the left hand in a courtesy turn, and that if one is not desiring a twirl at that particular moment, that one should pull that hand back down.  To that I would just add that as the person leading the twirl raises the appropriate hand, no reaction / limp arm probably is best to take as a "No" or at least as a "What was that??" and move along.  If it's your partner, you can always talk about the various flourishes and try again.

So I suppose what it mostly comes down to is:

1. Many leads should be able to be able to be refused / ignored
2. If you're dancing with someone you don't know, and you want to lead something that is difficult to do in a refusable way (dips come to mind), ask.  

• Even if you encounter someone you do know if you don't have time to ask (and haven't made previous arrangement), try to make sure your leads are refusable.  [I'm thinking particularly of the various ways that the same role dancer can twirl a neighbor as they pass in a hey, and the time on the friday of a dance weekend when someone forced a twirl in a hay on my wife when she had already planted her foot and wasn't ready to be twirled....messed up her knee for the rest of the weekend and that was the last dance she did.]  

I can give you other examples if you'd like, but this is already getting a bit rambling.  Hope that some of it is useful!  Let us know how the workshop goes!

Jack

On Tue, Mar 6, 2018 at 12:22 AM Jeanette Mill via Callers <callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Hello

I am devising a workshop for a festival here in Australia, and have long been of the opinion that there are no "leaders" in contra dance couples. Moves should be executed with mutual consent, especially embellishments such as turning under out of a ladies' chain. Conventions such as waltz hold swings are really useful here. In Australia, other related dance forms use a variety of swing holds, which lead to confusion and interruption of flow. I plan to place some emphasis on conventions of holds, such as allemande and star holds.

I would value people's opinions on this, as it may ruffle some long-held conventions. Any words of wisdom from the gender free dance community would be especially welcome. 

Also, I believe that if dancers are to enjoy embellishments, they must be by mutual consent. This is so difficult to establish in a microsecond. I would value any thoughts on how to advise reaching this consent in the context of a contra dance.

Looking forward to your thoughts

cheers

Jeanette

Jeanette Mill

Contra dance caller, musician, workshop facilitator

Canberra, Australia

Phone: +61 (0)449 686 077

Email: jeanette_mill@yahoo.com.au

Skype: jeanette.mill

 

"The piano - 88 little mistakes waiting to happen" Kate Barnes

 

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Jack Mitchell

Durham, NC

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