Regarding swing position: With good frame, differences between the roles in giving weight are slight. But not all dancers are accustomed to good frame. 

I find a mirrored ballroom hold (both dancers have right hand on the other's shoulder blade, left hand on the other's shoulder) offers several advantages:
       - In general, it's a good hold for dancers to know as it saves space in crowded halls.
       - It facilitates spinning out from a swing, useful when dancers encounter "string of swings" choreography
       - It allows both dancers to experience both sides of good frame 
The one challenge is that dancers need to remember which side they are ending the swing on, as it removes "pointer hands" from the equation. 

This a bit of a tangent, but related to the chain: If we just called gents chains (by either hand! the courtesy turn for a left-hand chain isn't REALLY that complicated, folks) more often, role differences WRT chain would be a moot issue, and both roles would be better equipped to understand/offer/ask/decline flourishes. All for the effort of teaching one move well, one move that's out there in good choreography waiting to be used. 

Susan, I'm assuming this workshop is at a gender-free series, but geared to encourage attendance by dancers who aren't yet accustomed to gender-free dance? Having danced both roles widely and called a bit of gender-free, I'd be happy to chat by phone or IM. Feel free to ping me on facebook - Tavi Merrill